Have relationship troubles? Ask me anything...

United States
March 7, 2007 11:21am CST
Ive been told I have a good ear and good sense when it comes to relationships. Are you having problems with your significant other? Spill your guts and let me know how I can help you. ;)
2 people like this
3 responses
@Thomas73 (1467)
• Switzerland
7 Mar 07
I'm married, unemployed, and financially dependent on my wife. However, I truly love someone else who I cannot be with mainly for this reason of financial restraint -- basically, I couldn't cater for her and make her happy as she deserves. Can you help, Auntie Knowitallgurl? And please don't tell me to "get a job!", I've heard that one before, and it's also my own conclusion. ;)
2 people like this
• United States
7 Mar 07
Well....let me be blunt. Do you think you are being fair to your current wife? I wouldn't say "go get a job" but more like "you can't have your cake and eat it too". You need to be a man and do the right thing. Why is it that you can't get a job? Do you think that its also fair to this 'so called lover" of yours? Is she going to wait for you forever? And if your marriage is not working now because you do not have a job and you are being financially dependent from your current wife, why do you think it will be any different in your new relationship? You think she will stand you after a while? They say love is blind, but those "rose-colored" glasses do fall off after a little while and the reality sinks in. My advice to you is what you already know in your heart. Be fair to the women in your life and if you really love this other woman, what she will ask of you is to feel secure, safe and loved. Can you give her that? Good luck! Let me know how it goes.
2 people like this
@Thomas73 (1467)
• Switzerland
7 Mar 07
I know that I'm not being fair on any of them, which is why I terminated all contact with my loved one, hoping that she'll be ok with her husband. The reason I cannot get a job is a mystery to me, but I suspect that I have made a few powerful enemies, and the world of pharma/biotech is a small world when it comes to that. I have heard of people in a similar predicament. "if you really love this other woman, what she will ask of you is to feel secure, safe and loved. Can you give her that?" I definitely can. It's the financial protection that's lacking here. All the rest is there and strong. Thanks for your advice and for your honesty. I always appreciate people who are honest with me. :)
2 people like this
7 Mar 07
I think I'm a bit of a 'head in the clouds romantic' when it comes to love, but I think if you and the other women are really in love with each other money shouldn't come in the way. I know its easy to say and my last relationship ended partly because of money, but that was more to do with trust and the fact that I didn't know about the debts he had rather than the money situation itself. I think you should leave you wife for the other women. You only have one life, don't live it forever wanting something else.
1 person likes this
7 Mar 07
Not sure how you can help me. My boyfriends kids live 1.5 hours drive from my kids dad. How can we find a way of being together and still let the children be near to their fathers?
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Mar 07
How are you handling the situation currently? Do both dads get custody of the kids every week? What would happen if you and your boyfriend moved somewhere in the middle of both your kids dad and your boyfriend's kids? Some situations need compromising to come to a better situation or leave it the way it is if its currently working. Id like more details please. Currently, what are the visitations being handled? Does your ex get visitation rights every week? What seems to be the conflict right now? How often does your boyfriend want to visit his kids? Every day? every weekend? Love to help. Let me know.
1 person likes this
7 Mar 07
At the moment my kids dad sees them whenever he and they want. They sleep with me every night though except Saturdays when they are with him. My new boyfriend babysits for his kids two nights a week and then has 2 of them to stay with him from friday evening till sunday evening. At the moment we meet up at weekends when one of us will drive to the other ones house and sometimes he comes here a night in the week if he isn't working.
• United States
8 Mar 07
Im still pondering on this one... Its like a mind bender. I will PM you when I have a solution. :)
@swak1962 (129)
• United States
7 Mar 07
Well...where are them available "significant others"..... Seriously though, my problems with personal relationships are mainly dealing with financial crisis along with other personal demons that are chasing me from childhood and society in general. Would counseling be helpful? Perhaps, but intellectually, I can see my problems and come up with solutions, however, emotioally, there are many blocks which have been ingrained in me and are very difficult to overcome. Right now, I'm waiting for the sale of some property which is a big part of these demons. Unfortunately ,that may take a long time.... Another personal demon will probably be around alot longer. :-SS
• United States
8 Mar 07
My dear! Wow! Your negativity is something that seems to be part of your life and you feel you deserve! Have you ever seen a counselor? I think that the way you view yourself and your life stems from your childhood. What was your childhood like? Did you have abusive parents? Maybe these are the demons you are talking about. Your intellecutality could be getting in the way of your "heart" matters. Are you skeptical of people and why they want to be your friend, girlfriend, etc? Once in a while you have to take chances but at the same time be cautious. Id love to hear more about your situation. You can PM me if you want.
1 person likes this