What do you do when you KNOW that NO cares ?

United States
March 8, 2007 11:01am CST
I just realized today that no one really cares about me. If I died tomorrow I do not think anyone would even care. I have 3 brothers and they do not stay in touch with me or even try to. I have friends but they just go on with their own personal lifes. I am getting depressed about this. I try my best to stay in contact with people but they just do not care they will take my call and then never call back. They do not even care that I take my weekly injection each Thursday for my MS therapy. I have done nothing wrong to these people. I have helped them with money and whenever they needed things. I am just wondering does anyone have the same problem in their life were you feel alone and just like you know that no one truly cares what happens in your life ? This is important to me so I am going to rate and respond to all of you. Thanks
5 people like this
29 responses
@bethmt (419)
• United States
8 Mar 07
I'm really sorry that you're having a difficult time and that you feel this way. Family can be fickle sometimes; I have 2 sisters and there are times when we go for months without being in contact, in fact I've lost touch with one sister completely. She moved and didn't tell my other sister and I where she moved to. It's concerning to me and I feel hurt but I try not to let it get to me too much, it's just how our family's always been. But as far as friends, they can come and go. I think it's hard to find very close friends and even then people can change and go their seperate ways through no fault of either person. One thing you may want to keep in mind is, are your friends really friends? I mean, if they're not staying in contact with you they are obviously not the best of friends and maybe you might need to extend your circle a little and look for friendship in other places. There's no way for me to know but you may also be seen as vulnerable by some people and they may be taking advantage of you. I only say this because you mentioned the fact that you've given your friends money. I know that when I feel down and depressed the whole world looks different and people look different. So the way you're feeling may also be part of depression and your MS. The only thing that I can suggest, because it's worked for me, is to be accepting of yourself and care about yourself; in this way perhaps you will find friends who then truly value you for who you are. You sound like a very kind-hearted person and I'm sure there are people who would greatly value your friendship.
• United States
8 Mar 07
Thanks for your response. I have found that helping other people gets me through days. Last weekend I had a part time job taking care of an elderly lady and that brought me so much encouragement to know I was helping someone else. I forgot for that entire weekend that know one cares what I am doing. Thanks again for your kind words.
2 people like this
@flpoolbum (2959)
• United States
9 Mar 07
I suffer from bi-polar disorder, although I am usually depressed much more than I am manic. I feel the same way you do sometimes, so I can totally relate. My wife loves me but just really can't relate to my disorder. I have found that getting together with other depressed people (don't laugh) helps. They can relate to what your going through and can offer suggestions as what they did when they felt that way. Try getting in touch with some MS organizations to see if they offer any kind of peer or group counseling. Trust me, it is worth it.
3 people like this
• United States
9 Mar 07
Thank you for your encouragement. I am meeting on Saturday for 4 hours with an MS group I think that will help. Its a nice long frive and then I get breakfast and then the meeting for 4 hours. I am looking forward to it. Thanks again for your support.
• United States
9 Mar 07
frive = drive .... It was the keyboard not me :)))
@flpoolbum (2959)
• United States
10 Mar 07
I know what you mean, my keyboard does that, too!
@charms88 (7540)
• Philippines
9 Mar 07
I emphatize with you, stateroad. I'm not even exempted from having to go through this kind of situation from time to time. I may be popular with my friends. But like you, they each have their own lives. That's why I learned to accept that I can't depend to be with them all the time. Same goes with my own siblings. I don't know if my brother still know that I'm alive. I know its not easy. I know how it is to feel isolated from this world. But having gone through all the pain, don't you think you are very strong. That you were able to surpass everything. Be brave, stateroad. I wish you all the best.
• United States
9 Mar 07
Thanks for your comments. Yes to some degree I am stronger because I had to be alone for so long. It just hurts that when I am really feeling ill I get no support. I do not want to die alone and I want to have fun and some good times before I do die. Thanks again for the inspirational words.
• Singapore
9 Mar 07
I am very sorry to hear of your situation. :( I guess I am more fortunate than you in that I have parents who love me very much. For your case, if you want to get back with your brothers, try making the effort to take the first step. You don't know what new day tomorrow will bring. ;-)
@wolfie34 (26791)
• United Kingdom
8 Mar 07
These people are NOT friends, with friends like these who need enemies. I am sorry you are feeling this way and I do fully understand where you are coming from. It seems that when you are useful they are there and they will take what they can get, when you cease to be useful or when you need help you don't see them for gold dust. I wouldn't call them friends. I will not patronize you by saying you'll be ok, you'll get over it, because I have had this said to me over the past when I suffered with depression, unless you have been in your situation no one knows the full extent of what you are going through. You feel isolated, you feel that everyone is against you. I hope you know that you have friends here on MYlot, I know it's not the same but you can at least 'reach' out and talk about your feelings. Sometimes having someone to talk to does help. I am lucky in that I have my parents still alive, and I do have friends. Do you have any interests which you could start with others, join clubs, be with people. Take care my friend and here's a virtual hug x
3 people like this
• United States
8 Mar 07
Thanks for the virtual hug and you inspirational comments. You are right when I was the bank roll for these people they were around and nice. Now since I stopped giving the money they have fallen off the earth it seems. The friends I knew were friends as long as I worked with them and shared their same interests. I am getting involved in some of my newer interests and also am hoping that I can get more jobs like I had the one this weekend. I was a caregiver for an elderly blind lady who just enjoyed a person that fixed her something to eat and talked to her. Thanks again for the inspiration and I am very happy with my friends on myLot. Hug back to you XX
2 people like this
@racheld (840)
• United States
8 Mar 07
It sounds like you are slowly sinking yourself in a state of depression and thats not good. Have you ever tried talking to your friends and family about this?? Maybe they don't realize what they are doing. Or you could always try joining clubs or organizations, which are great ways to meet new people. Just a suggestion! Hang in there and keep your chin up!!
3 people like this
• India
9 Mar 07
well i might be angry... bt that is the question of people...they dont care me then its ok. think they dont need tht to be me there.
2 people like this
• India
9 Mar 07
hi i wanted to know do we rerally get money frm my lot . and do we need paypal account for this and how much for this. please tell me. please
• United States
9 Mar 07
I think people should show some care of Family members especially when they are ill and not doing well. But I thank you for your input there are days I am angry.
• India
9 Mar 07
oh!! thats sad dear!! really... i know that when i am not around, my family and my friends would be disappointed and really upset!! to be in your position would be hell, i should imagine, are u absolutely certain that your family wont care even a tiny bit when you are gone?? i dont think that they would be so heartless!!! well its not too late yet, you know? you can go about making new friends... start doing good to people.... you cant expect people to like because of just you!! they must like you for the good that you do for them!! so start over again and this time please make people love you!!
2 people like this
• United States
9 Mar 07
I cannot make people love me NO one can. I am making new friends and as for my Family they know I have helped them and they still do not care. I do a lot and did a lot of good for them.
• India
9 Mar 07
hello i have also faced the same situation as u r facing but not with my family members but with my friends .i come to know there problem before even they tell me and i help them in whatever i can but when i need them there is no body with me .i fell so bad and alone some time that i think what a wrong decission i have taken to make them friends.so friends please be careful before making friends.world is so selfish they use and throw you when they don't need u and when they need they can even beg in front of u
2 people like this
• United States
9 Mar 07
I am sorry you have to face this also. I really have to becareful with the friends I chose because so many want to just take advantage with money and thats not fair. I am too helpful I am like you I will tell my friends the problem and offer help right away which is not good. Thanks for your response.
@envae25 (25)
• Philippines
9 Mar 07
What your experiencing right now is really hard, I had a brother who felt neglected for a long time and he got this severe depression. He felt that he had no support from his family which was quite true. And I being her sister have been sorry for what we did.. dont think about whats happening to you now. find other ways to make yourself happy. But find real happiness..remember that you are still luckier than half of the people on earth and 25 percent of the earths population is dying and is struggling to live because they know that life is beautiful.. find the beauty of life..
2 people like this
• United States
9 Mar 07
Thank you for making me realize life is beautiful and even though I get depressed about these Family things I know I have other reasons to go on and enjoy Life.
@flickz (626)
• Malaysia
8 Mar 07
i'm will angry because of that and i think its really not good. why he not care about that??
2 people like this
• United States
8 Mar 07
You think what is good ?
@sherrir101 (3676)
• Malinta, Ohio
11 Mar 07
I also have MS. The medication therapy that you are on has a depression side effect. You are on Avonex, right? Well, Copaxone is the only MS therapy that does not have a depression side effect. I switched to that one because of that. Like we need more depression as it is.:-{ MS as a whole causes alot of depression. I know it took my family and friends FOREVER to understand my MS. There is a wonder ful group on Yahoo called MSFriends2. They have helped me tremendously because they know what I was going through. Try the group it is therapy in it's own.
• United States
12 Mar 07
Thanks for your advise on the Yahoo Support Group for MS. Yes I take Avonex and that does cause depression. Having MS is enough to cause depression and then when you have other problems that sure does not help. I wish that my Family was at least interested in my disease a little that would make me feel better. I am just scared about about the future. Thanks for understanding.
• Malinta, Ohio
13 Mar 07
My yahoo name in the group is shay10_1998
• United States
9 Mar 07
I am sorry that you feel no one cares. I have felt like this from time to time, usually when I am very down. Outside of my husband and kids, I feel very alone at times. My husbands family if very different than the one I grew up with, I've lost touch with one brother and though I have another brother near by, we just look in on each other from time to time. There is a lot of age difference between us and we don't have much in common besides our child hood so sometimes that makes it harder than it probably should. He's a good brother though and we get along great. My parents have passed away early in my lives and I miss them dearly. I guess I'm trying to say I understand just a little what that is like. Probably most or all of these people do care about you, but they are very much absorbed in their own lives. You reach out to people and care for them because it is important to you and sounds like it is in your nature to do so. Others may not even think about doing that, not because they don't care but because it is not a natural thing for them. This doesn't mean that they shouldn't though. For years I bought my husband cards. I liked giving them and gettting them. He appreciated the cards but it did not hold the same value to him as it did to me, so often I would get my feelings hurt. I know my husband loves me very much, but he's not a card. As I began to look around I saw the many things he did for me, they were his way of giving "cards". By the way, he gives me cards when he should, but I don't expect him to and I feel better about it when I do get them. Also I still give out cards, because this is important to me. I'm sorry you have been hurt by other's non-actions. I'm sure they probably don't mean to hurt you or even realize they have. Keep on giving and look for the good in your friends and family. If you can't find anything, well surround yourself with new friends that have similar likes.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Mar 07
Thanks o much for sharing some of you with me. I really think they are absorbed with their own lifes and do not care or maybe do now want to care. I think maybe if they care too much they are afraid they might have to help me if I become sicker or disabled. I am going to make the best with the friends I have and not shut them out. Thanks for bonding with me an giving me some things to think about.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Mar 07
Hope things go well for you. Think about things that make you happy. Things you like to do. Good Luck.
13 Mar 07
i am sorry you feel like this. try to keep your chin up i am sure there is someone out there who really cares for you. i have been in some what the same situation when i fell out with my mum i thought i had no-one and got really down but things always turn out for the best, if you ever need some one to talk to pm me don't ever feel like you have no one or nothing
• United States
20 Mar 07
Thank you for your kind words and friendship. I am feeling a little better. I have taken much advice and just simply be with the people that want to be with me. I cannot make my brothers or their Family love me or want to include me in their life. So I just have to move on and hope for the best. Thanks for your response.
@lani0529 (1726)
• Philippines
11 Mar 07
Oh, don't think that way.(",) God cares alot and He is thinking about you. Don't feel so sad. Maybe, your brothers are busy these times, not calling you doesn't mean that they don't love you, it could be that you are always in their mind and are often praying for your health. What do you mean by MS therapy? Do you have a Multiple Sclerosis? I feel so loved by my family. We support each other and eventhough we are older already, we still stick together and live in 1 house. Hope you will get better soon and stop that self-pity. Life is beautiful, if you know how to live it.(",) Take care always! God bless!
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Mar 07
Thanks for your comments and yes GOD cares and that gets me through things. My Brothers lack of interest or response to me is not because they are busy they just do not care and I realize this now. They do not care about my Health and they do not know anything about prayer. Yes I have Multiple Sclerosis. I am glad you have a loving Family. One thing I do not do is PITY myself or accept PITY from someone else. I am a strong person. Just because I say that my siblings do not care for me is pity. IT is hurt that I have 3 brothers and they do not care about me.
@simplycza (1480)
• Philippines
11 Mar 07
Hi stateroad, i can sense that you are a good person and i can relate to you, i feel your pain. First, please do not get angry with all these people whom you taught are your friends and to your brothers who never gets in touch with you. Hatred is not a positive feeling, it will give you stressed. Lets just think, maybe they are really too busy or they have good reasons why they never keep in touch. You are a strong person, you wont post your problem here if you are not. You can face the situation and that's a good sign. Try to move on with your life alone and see the real good friends coming into your life. Life is full of surprises, maybe there are reasons why all this things happened into you at the moment. You can count me as friend, whenever you need someone to talk I can be a good listener. :)
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Mar 07
Thank you for your kind words of Friendship. I really do not hate my brothers I love them I just do not like what they are doing to me now. I am trying to forget it so I do not get stressed out because that will not help me or my condition. I am looking for new contacts and friends that will love and want to be with me for who I am. I hate to have to forget my Brothers right now but if they do not want to contact me or be in contact with me then there is nothing I can do. Thanks for becoming a good friend and you offer of friendship.
• United States
9 Mar 07
Please forgive me if I repeat what some of the others have said. I don't want to read all their responses. However, I have learned some things in my life of 58 years. God CARES! I am not trying to get you to change whatever your beliefs are. I believe in God and I know he cares for you regardless. We are what we think. People are weak and are caught up in their own lives and sometimes overlook those around them. That's life. You are who and what you think you are, so realize that you are a powerful, valuable human being with MANY talents! We get our fulfillment from serving others. You've heard "what goes around comes around." Perhaps you've heard stories of folks who spent their lives selflessly helping others and in the end, were honored in return when they least expected it. They've made movies about these kinds of situations, but I just can't remember what the titles are at the moment (hey, I'm 58 for cryin' out loud). Bottom line - YOU determine your self worth is! Set your standards high and measure up. The hell with everyone else! Don't let them determine your success and worth!
• United States
11 Mar 07
Thank you so much for your meaning full comments. I do pray to GOD and believe in GOD. GOD gets me through a lot of things. I am very excited because today I got a call from this elderly lady that I used to care for as a partime caregiver. From the way it sounded the niece may want me to go back to that job because the woman needs care and she misses me. So I felt better about that. Thanks again for your inspirational words they did help.
@oiixdaii (1059)
• Philippines
9 Mar 07
Every time I see an MS initial the first thing that comes into my mind is Microsoft. So, what is MS Therapy? Your family I think you should talk to them and tell them what you feel. They are your family, I think they feel that you are fine that's why they act that way. Your friends Same advice with above. Tell them that you are feeling lonely and I'm sure that after talking to them you'll know who your true friends are. Don't tell them about the help part because they might feel bad because I feel that every time you help someone you should not expect a return. You are helping them because you wanted to help.
• United States
11 Mar 07
MS = Multiple Sclerosis I have to take an injection once a week to stop the progression. I talked and talked to them until I was blue in the face. I am all talked out. I went to a Priest talked to him and the Priest even said that how my brothers were acting was horrible. I helped them always without even thinking. I do not expect them to do anything for me just give me some support and treat me like a sister. Thanks for your comments.
@sweetlady10 (3617)
• United States
9 Mar 07
I am so sorry that you are going through this. I think every general people have this problem more or less. Everybody feel like this or ignored by people at some point of time in life. Personally I also experience this more or less some time, and yes, it hurts. But I don't let it get over me. I will say taht don't take it seriously taht much, otherwise it will hurt more. Find some new good friends. Good Luck!
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Mar 07
Thank you for your words. Sometimes I can get over this neglect and being ignored. When I need help because I am sick or depressed it would be nice to have Family around. It does hurt when I think about it too much but sometimes when you are alone or a another problem comes up and you need support you look to your Family. I will have to find some supportive friends. Thanks
@ajithlal (14614)
• India
9 Mar 07
There are two types of living. One is to accept things as it comes and life a usual life and the second is to change the rules and live the life that we wanted. Someone told me life is not a bed of roses nor life is a bed of thorns. Most times people are busy with their own life and dont have time to care others. This also happens to my life also. Some people doesnt have the time to care. So what should we do when we are alone? We should try to find more people who are alone or who requires care and try to spend time with them. There are lots of people who are like us who looks for friendship and life. We should not spend time on waiting for people who doesnot need us. We should spend time with people who need us. There are lots of way to get good friends. One is to attend as much parties and social functions as possible. Next is to call back the old friends, school mates, and office mates, etc. We will find some of them who are like us. Next, is internet like yahoo chat, msn chat, orkut, and myLot, etc. I have also faced these kind of problems and I have found some good friends through yahoo chat and orkut who are lonely and looks for friends. This is the one way I keep myself busy with the friends on the net and then by connecting with all the old friends who I have studied with work with, etc. I have found couple of good friends from these.
• United States
9 Mar 07
You are correct and thank you for your comments. I have found a lot of kind wonderful people here and in YAHOO Chat. Tomorrow I am going to a seminar for my MS Disease so I think that will help some. I am even thinking about starting my own support group so no one has to feel alone. Thanks again for given me some inspiration.