people who don't watch their own kids

Canada
March 8, 2007 4:08pm CST
ok so i've posted about the play centre i go to. today another mother and i got into a conversation about how poeple seem to think it's just somewhere where you drop off your kids and let them play and you sit there talking to other mothers and don't watch your kids. it drives me nuts when people just don't even glance over at their kids once in a while. for 2 hours today this girl kept bugging my daughter and someone else's daughter. she was stealing toys from their hands and pushing them around. we had no clue who the mother of the child even was cause she never came over. what should we do in these sercomstances. i was even trying to include the other girl. when she ripped out the doll from my duaghter's hands. i said she's playing with that one but i'll take you to go get another doll. and i did. but it got annoying after a while.
3 people like this
21 responses
@superchook (1786)
• Australia
8 Mar 07
Oh, I hate that too. The mother probably actually saw her child doing this but couldn't be bothered doing anything about it. Is there one person in charge of the play centre? If so, then maybe have a quiet word in that persons ear and tell them what is going on. I understand that mothers like to get together and chat because I like to do that, but they still need to keep an eye on their children. I bet with this little girl that you are talking about, if another child was doing it to her, the mother would come over and sort it out. You can watch your child and socialise at the same time, but some mothers just can't be bothered. Try to speak to who is in charge, they would know who the mother is and they will hopefully put a stop to it. Then hopefully your child can go there and enjoy her time more without having another child taking toys of her all the time. Another thing you might want to try is speaking a bit louder to this child and say please don't take toys of my daughter, then if the mother hears she might actually come over and do something about it. Good luck!
1 person likes this
@crmulay (105)
• India
9 Mar 07
It happens many time in play ground,garden, kid care centre.The little baby we are talking about is not faulty. This is noble thinking that let child do whatever it want.but it should not disturb the other kid playing around the group.The parent are mainly responsible for this and the governing nurse if she is in charge of such kid can moniter disorder in this situation
@sizzle3000 (3038)
• United States
12 Mar 07
I am sorry to say but this kind of behavior is the norm. It seems that the parents of these kids feel that someone else will watch their kid. The only problem with this is that if something happens to that child they will be the first to complain. You should always know where you kid is and what they are doing all the time. I was told that I was an over protective mom. My daughter is sixteen and I still know where she is and what she is doing all the time. You can believe me if my kid gets hurt I am there to protect her or if someone is paying more attention to her than they should be I am there. I don;t think that you could harm a child or kidnap a child if it's mom was actually watching over them.
@laurabeth (145)
• United States
9 Mar 07
I have been in similar situations, once at a playground, and I also had to deal with it at the place I used to live. The playground incident didn't go so well, there were older boys there playing very rough, and one almost pushed my stepson right off the structure, then the same boy almost stepped on my daughters hands and knocked her over. I was really mad and there were other moms on the other side of the playground but no one was paying any attention to there kids. I went right over to the older boys and told them they needed to be careful of the younger children on the playground. I ended up in a fight with the mother of the boy who did both of these things because "how dare I speak to her son" I told her that if she wasn't going to do it someone had to, it was a public park and needed to be safe for al children. And that her child wasn't even using the equipment as it was intended to be used. I told her to watch her kid or go somewhere else. I am sorry but I am not going to put up with someone putting my child in danger. As far as the place I used to live it was a apartment complex with 14 units, I lived on the first floor so my kids had tons of outdoor toys and such in the yard, but all of the kids in the building would come down and play with them which was fine. Well one of the family's in the building had a boy the same age as mine, around 2 at the time, and he was just a bully, he would grab my kids by the hair (even my daughter at 4) and rip them to the ground. He hit them, he took everything away from them, and the father would just laugh! I was outraged! Well when he did this to my child one day and the father laughed I went right up to the little boy and I knelt down to his level and told him it is not ok to hurt other people and if he didn't want to play nicely with the other kids he would not be able to play with the other kids toys. The father flipped out on me and I told him to bad, they were my kids, and my kids things and if he did not want to teach his son right from wrong he wasn't welcome. And that in my yard I had every right to speak to the children in it and if he didn't like it stay away. Well needless to say the father didn't come back down with him again, but the mother did, and that boy didnt touch my kids like that again.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Mar 07
That would really drive me crazy!! I would most likely ask the girl who her mommy was and then talk to the mother. That is a tough situation!!
• Singapore
9 Mar 07
i always will keep one eye on my kid at the play centre... in case she falls or is climbing far too high... and when things happen like she snatches someone's toy, i will step in to tell her it's wrong and encourage the kids to share... i never dump her there and don't bother her until it's time to go home...
1 person likes this
@Artsimba (1335)
• United States
9 Mar 07
I agree with you about mothers watching their children especially in this age of predators. We don't even want to think about that. But I was thinking when you go to the play center maybe you could try to figure out which mothers are whose children, or even ask a child if they seem like they're alone if their mother is there. Hopefully the mother will be thankful and not rude but you could tell her that you were just worried about her child being alone. I think the book Hilary Clinton wrote that it takes a village was very true. That if everyone was concerned about everyone than there might be less to worry about when it comes to raising our children. Good luck.
@stacyv81 (5904)
• United States
9 Mar 07
Something like this happened to my son at the park. He was 2 and trying to climb up a slide, this little kid came by and tried to push him out of the way, he could've fallen off the stairs. His mom didn't say anything until I looked over at her, and all she said is dont push people, are you kidding me? he was like 7 and my son was 2, and he is trying to push him off of a slide, People need to teach their children better than they do and then take concern in watching their behavior around other children.
1 person likes this
@afreddy (182)
• India
9 Mar 07
Those are the most dangerous, if there was a situation and the ladys daughter had to start throwing a tantrum or crying or something you would have had a very agressive and maybe violent mother attacking you either verbally or physically. Children learn from their environment and that would be the reason the child acted like that. The mother would probably of the type who feels that as long as her child is not threatened she need not worry. her kid acting agressively towards others would be a good thing as she will be learning to stand up for herself
@shaz6611 (951)
• Australia
9 Mar 07
I'm sure some parents use places such as these as baby sitting. Not that they are leaving their child there but they are not being responsible for them while they are there. They figure that their child is off playing so they can drink coffee or talk to other parents and not take notice of their child. It's no wonder there are children with behaviour problems. I bet that these children receive hardly any attention at all when at home as well. It's really very sad.
@lafavorito (2960)
• Philippines
9 Mar 07
kids - kids making funny faces
I hate that too! It's a good thing that my son knows how to stand up for himself during circumstances like that. My son loves going to play centers and interact with other kids, he's the one who offers them to share his toys and play with him. One time at a party held in a fastfood place, while waiting for the party to start my 2 year old son decided to play on the slides with two other kids, then a boy came in who pushed all of the other kids just to be the first on the slides. The boy's mother is around but she's not telling her son to stop pushing, she's just staring at him, the boy pushed my son a few times imagine a 5 year old kid pushing a 2 year old boy. I'm so mad I want to strangle that kid, the last time the kid pushed my son, my son punched him in the face, the boy cried while the others cheered. The mother of the boy told me that my son punched his son, then I just told her, "your son is bullying all the kids and my son got fed up with it, you should tell your son to stop bullying small kids." Imagine a 2 year old kid standing up to a 5 yeard old kid! Funny still I had a little talk with my son that punching is not good.
1 person likes this
@anup12 (4178)
• India
9 Mar 07
People who are not watching their kids are themselves to be blamed because you know as a parent you need to be very much responsible.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Mar 07
oh my god i hate it when that happens.I know i dont let my kids act like that or hang all over strangers.I know i was at the laundry mat with my 8 yr old and my 2 yr old and i made them stay by me.I mean i let them play but where i can see them.Well there was this little girl messing with my son non stop.My daughter was even getting mad and telling her to leave her brother alone.Well i bought my kids something from the vending machine and this little girl asks for something too.Im not like that so i bought her something and i didnt mind.But then she snatches my sons chips from him and drinks my daughters soda.I was so mad cuz i was dealing with this little girl for an hour already and i didnt once see an adlut looking for her.So i found out she was the owners kid.I went up to the owner and told him he really needs to watch his daughter.Not only is she hitting my kid but something can happen to her.Guess what??? he didnt even know english ha/ha.So it didnt matter what i said.
1 person likes this
@sherinek (3321)
• United States
9 Mar 07
I know your frustration and I have come across similar situations on many occasions. While I feel very angry about the parent, I pity the poor kid. The kid behaves like that cos he is not getting the attention that he requires from the parents. We cannot say or do anything to other people's kids. Only, we can slowly take our kids away from these type of kids. Still I feel pretty bad having to do that. What else can we do. We have to look after our kids and if they get upset by other kids, we are just helpless. In the meanwhile, i have educated my kids, that there are a lot of children who are not being loved by their parents and so have different kinds of behaviour. I have told them to be patient with these kids and if someone wants something that they are playing with just give it and keep quiet. But if someone hits them unnecessarily, i have asked them to hit back. They have to feel confident and shouldnt feel that others can walk over them.
@Stephanie5 (2947)
• United States
9 Mar 07
That drives me bonkers too! And then when it gets out of hand and you try to stop it and heaven forbid make that child fuss or cry, then the parent wants to yell at you! It's like 'Watch your kids then, so I don't have to'! You know? Geesh! Some people....ugh
• United Arab Emirates
9 Mar 07
I remember an incident when my mom was parking her car in an open parking ground and it was past 8pm in the evening, pretty dark. A 7-8 year old sudanese boy dressed in black overalls simply popped out infront of her car and we nearly fainted at the sight. The poor boy was out alone at this hour unsupervised and what in the world was he doing in a car park. We could barely see him. What if the vehicle would have hit him? Till date the accident spooks me!
1 person likes this
@kathy77 (7487)
• Australia
9 Mar 07
Hi, Oh yes there are a lot of mother who unfortunatly do not teach their children to share and this is where the problem comes from in the meanwhile the mother just sits there and does not even speak or look over to see what her child is doing it can be a really dreadful thing when the mother could not careless or teacher her child better.
1 person likes this
@Michele21 (3094)
• United States
9 Mar 07
That is terrible!! I am usually so busy watchig my kids that it is hard to have a full conversation with another mom!! I think some parents are just lazy and don't worry about their kids like they should!!
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Mar 07
I know what you mean! I used to work at a children's museum, and a lot of people (barents, and also babysitters) thought that since it was a children's museum, the grown ups could just sit down in the cafe and let the kids go off on their own! This may be fine for older kids, but these people felt fine about letting preschoolers and toddlers explore the museum alone! In fact, the youngest child I ever found who had been left alone was only eight MONTHS old! He couldn't even walk, and was just crawling around the museum! Incredible, isn't it?
1 person likes this
@tad1fan (3373)
• Canada
8 Mar 07
There are people like that everywhere you go,the park,the beach,it just doesn't matter....myself,I think I would have asked who the mother was and told her to take care of her own.....
• Netherlands
8 Mar 07
I'm familiar with this problem. It drives me crazy too. When that happened, I'll talk to that girl and said not to do that again. If she's keep doing it then I'll take my daughter away from that girl and find another girl that my daughter can play with or I'll play with her myself and I'll definitely ignored that naughty girl. Or else, I will tell (if there's any) a woman that work for that play centre that day to do something about it. And I will also keep my eyes on that naughty girls so she won't do naughty to my daughter.