I'm going to start my own Religion!
By Riptide
@Riptide (2758)
United States
March 8, 2007 6:57pm CST
I was thinking about starting my own religion. It would take quite a bit of work, but easy to do I think. You know, the kind where women have the upper hand for a change.
First I would lock myself away for a week somewhere and write a holy book. Then I would emerge glowing and claim some holy deity has spoken to me and told me to write down all the words of wisdom she passed on to me. Yes, a female god for a change. Of course the holy laws would entail things like, men have to be covered from head to toe, so not to entice the opposite gender. They have to obey their wifes and kiss their butts all hours of the day and night.
If they disobey, they will be "lightly beaten".
I will publish the holy book and swear that it is the word of the allmighty goddess and, even though I had no witnesses to event, people will follow me blindly and obey the laws. That will be ensured, because I will of course also write in the book that nobody is allowed to question the holy book and the words given by the goddess. Therefore if anybody finds any contradictions, they wouldn't dare question it, because it says in the book not to question it.
I believe this will work, since so many people already follow a similar religion. Hey, and if a 14th century self proclaimed prophet can do it, so can I :)
7 people like this
32 responses
@mari61960 (4893)
• United States
9 Mar 07
Hahah the minute I saw the topic..I thought to myself..hmmmm I have to check this out..if it includes "lightly beating men" I must condider joining...lol Well imagine my suprise when I read that wuld be in "The Book". So dear Goddess please note me as a follower...lol I love it.
@mari61960 (4893)
• United States
9 Mar 07
Shoot, I must go out and find one really quick. Oh this is so exciting... I can't wait to practice my new religion.
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
9 Mar 07
Quite an excellent discussion topic, thank you. I know a mesiah when i see one, i should, ive followed a few. Lol. MMMMM i quite like the idea of kissing a femine but all day long, so i think i must be an adhierent. Just let me know where to sign up and where to send the money and you have my soul,
blessed be
@urbandekay (18278)
•
9 Mar 07
Verily, thou need to adopt a comely mode of speech, for is it not written that even prophetesses shall be known by the manner in which they spake.
Also you should include some apparently logically contradictory statements, this will get the would be theologians arguing about the correct interpretation.
Hmmm, then you need to perform a few miracles, that might be tricky but with suitable technology...
Alternatively, you could get a band of rogues and start hijacking passing juggernauts.
You should also consider taking many husbands.... (not for any reason just because as a prophetess you can get away with it)
all the best urban
@urbandekay (18278)
•
9 Mar 07
I am available for speech writing in return for suitable privileges
all the best urban
@loralee (542)
• United States
10 Mar 07
Have you ever heard of Amy Arena? She put out an album in the mid 90's. One of the songs on it is called 'I wanna start a new religion.' Its a bit dated but still pretty funny.
http://www.amazon.com/Amy-Arena/dp/B000005WN8
@littlekitty (23)
• Russian Federation
9 Mar 07
I like it. ?heers for Polyandry! But there is a problem: How can each woman have many husbands, if the number of woman is higher, then the number of men. And the second problem: almost all men are idiots and scoundrels. And even if I judge only by appearence, there is seldom a man I like. And I want to have many handsome, clever, courteous husbands. And of course I want to be a goddess for them. What should I do? I can't find even one. Nobody suits me. What should I do? What does the goddess say?
The third problem is most men don't like it. They want to have many wives and womans. How can you solve all this problems?
@hroptr (13)
• Canada
9 Mar 07
Well for a religion or group of religions where women are honoured as equals try one of the many pagan religions. That way you would not need to start your own from the bottom up. Much much easier and then you cant be accused of being a fraud. So good luck.:)
@bosing143c (564)
• Philippines
9 Mar 07
hey, if you want a eunuch at your palace, please count me in as applicant. just put me in the receiving room where lots of worshipping disciples (women of course!) whining at your throne. hows that for a change too?
@DavidReedy (2378)
• United States
9 Mar 07
Uhm, you do know what a eunuch is right? I'll get the sheers...
@omnithought (199)
• United States
9 Mar 07
L. Ron Hubbard created his own religion and made loads of money. You can too.
@cyclops_online2004 (779)
• India
9 Mar 07
Lols.........i dont know whether you are really interested in creating your own religion or not. But what i feel is that you are completely against the concept of a person writing a holy book and becoming the supereme.
@littlekitty (23)
• Russian Federation
9 Mar 07
It's very interesting for me, because I'm studing different religions at the university. So we could investigate your religion. First you should write your holy book and then base the organisation. But what is the fundamental difference from other feministic religions?
@shoxbladez (399)
• India
9 Mar 07
i dunno why we have religions and have questioned many to get no answers.but i proved myself wrong in some situations.they are worth something sometimes.total confusion is prevailing over me.let life go as it is.we are here to live as we want,not to find solutions to some mere questions of life.
@emailtokirankumar (68)
• India
9 Mar 07
Oops its a very nice thing to do atleast once in a life time ha ha ha ha ha ha
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
9 Mar 07
I think I will bow out of this religion. I already got into trouble for saying all the bad things i thought of from another religion, but good luck to you. I'm sure you will have a huge following. Dont be surprised if they are mainly from the US and the UK.
@donkamikaze (6)
• United States
9 Mar 07
I tell you what. I'll be your priest. Do I get to molest little children and make them part their hair down the middle? That seems to be popular today.
