Parents: have you ever felt like this???

United States
March 9, 2007 10:30pm CST
Ok, today I had a major panic attack at my son's school. I know all parents are very protective of their kids and worry a lot especially these days, but have you ever felt like this? I go early sometimes to get my son becasue the last thing they do during the day is go to the playground so I go up there the last 15 min sometimes and let my daughter play with the kids. Today, I went up there and my son is NOWHERE to be found! The playground is covered with over 100 kids and about 6 teachers, but my son is nowhere. I figured he was playing somewhere where I coulnd't see him--under a slide or something--but it came time to line up and go in and still no Chayton. The teacher starts looking everywhere for him. She told me that he was just with her before I walked up because he got a blister on his hand and was showing her. ANyhow, a couple minutes later, here he comes...he had gone into the school without permission to wash his hand! He knows not to do this...this is a rule they have...they have to ask permission! Well, I was freaking out by this time! I was trying to stay calm, but my insides were churning and I was dizzy and ready to cry. All I could think about was how I would only have 1 child, how could this happen, who took him, where is he, how do i tell his father, what do i do, how will i go on with life? I mean, all of these things passed thru my mind in a matter of minutes! I have anxiety problems anyhow...on meds for it...but they didn't work today. :) This isn't the first time this has happened. A couple of weeks ago at Chuck E Cheese, it got really crowded and I couldn't find him. I figured he was up in the tubes (which he was), but I couldn't find him. It was a good 10 min before I finally found him and I was about ready to close down Chuck E Cheese...nobody in or out....!!! LOL Do any of you other parents freak out so much and immediately think the worst or do you keep your wits about you and figure it's something silly like going in the bathroom without permission? I am so scared to lose either of my kids. I keep a tight hold on them everywhere we go! I am terrified of strangers and I have often thought of homeschooling just so I could keep tabs on them ALL day EVERY day!
4 people like this
6 responses
10 Mar 07
Reading what you went through brought it all back to me when I lost my son for over 20 minutes. He was with me in the playground and the next minute, amongst all the crowd of kids and parents he was gone. I have never experienced such dread and helplessness in my whole life before. What was once my little environment suddenly became so vast. I was convinced someone had had him away in a car and I would never see him again. The same thoughts as you have described went through my head. I sat in the middle of the playground, not crying, not knowing what to do. Then I remembered I had told him I needed to go to the post office. I ran up the road asking everyone I met if they had seen him. Most of them looked at me as if I was derranged, which I was. I ran into the post office and 2 old dears said they had seen him. He was with a woman who worked at his school and she had seen him looking distressed when he walked into the post office. When I saw him I was so full of emotions I did not know how to react, but nearly squeezed the life out of him. I had a very stiff drink when I got home for fear of shock. It did affect me for years afterwards and I would freak if I couldn't see him. He then cottoned on to this and would hide sometimes on purpose!! Little S@D!! It has to be the most horrendous experience to go through and I would not wish it on anyone, the fear that overtakes you is unbearable. My sympathy's go out to you!!!!
• India
11 Mar 07
Being a mom I too understand what you must have gone through.I too had similar experience and my child played smart and I was a fool.He had joined a ground recently and was reluctant to go like every four years child.So I told him that he will never get lost because his grandmama lives so nearby and he knows the road and I too will be on the ground to take him home.After the playing hour hundreds of children from all over the ground started running towards their parents, I was desperately serching my child more than 10 mins got over and the whole ground was empty by now .It was totaly dark.I was panicked.Asked everybody on the ground in every vehicle which took the chidren home, who knows by mistake he was sitting in any of them. My hands were cold and heart was sinking.I was on the verge of crying,couldnt imagine what he could do alone such a small child? And then came a call on my mobile fron my mothers home that he has reached there safely alone .She was scholding me for being irresponcible.I was to my wits end.He gave the explanation, that he lost me in those children and parents.And he told me not to worry because now he can come alone too.Unknowingly I gave him the confidence and he became independent.I think that was possitive .I cant hold my child always to my heart.As the famous quote the chidren come through you but donot belong to you.They are independent personalities.As parents we can not stop worring for them, but can just wish and make them the best of the world available and then take a back seat and watch and enjoy their emerging as an independent creation.You would certainly never like to see your children desperate without somebodys help.Protect them do not preserve them.
• United States
11 Mar 07
That was so scary for you, I am sure. I have been in this situation and it's so hard. You are right that we have to teach our kids independence and what to do in case they get separated, but unfortunately, the world we live in doesn't always allow too much flexibility! My son knows to contact an employee or a cop or someone if he gets lost at a store or something, but these days you can't even trust those adults who used to be the ones your kids could turn to. It's just so sad. I am glad your son was fine...good thing he is a smart little boy. :)
@ricknkae (1726)
• United States
10 Mar 07
Oh I understand you perfectly ! My son is too young and we haven't parted yet but I would have probably freaked out as well if the same thing ha happened to me. I mean in those times and days, you never know what can happen... you hear so many drama on the news Your reaction makes perfect sense to me
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Mar 07
thank you. Sometimes I think it's natural and then sometimes i just feel so silly. I am just terrified something will happen to one of my kids and now that my son is at school all day it's harder since I have no control at all. :) I just get scared. On the inside, I am freaking out!!! But, on the outside, I am calmer. I am frozen...can't do anything...just think of what I will do if he's gone. Thinking about what he was wearing and if I told him I loved him enough this morning. :)
1 person likes this
@villageanne (8554)
• United States
11 Mar 07
I dont blame you for being protective of your child. You have to be in todays crazy society. It is sad. Kids cannot enjoy life like they once could. Their lives and their inocence is always to be guarded. When I was a child, we could enjoy life and childhood. Today, preditors have taken that part of childhood away. You as a parent must protect your child
1 person likes this
@kabuki (152)
• Singapore
11 Mar 07
this can really freak a parent out when the kid goes missing, especially when we read the newspapers these days and find out what happened if they fall into the wrong hands.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Mar 07
On Thursday, I picked my 5 year old grandson up from school. He ran out the door and raced around the corner of the building out of my view. Panic immediately sets in. The parking lot is in the back of this building and it leads directly to the street. the parking lot is of course quite busy after school. My heart raced. His teacher was talking to me about his day and I was trying to keep my cool and not run in his direction. I called out to him, but he didn't reply. He was there right behind the building. He knew not to travel far. He was upset that his mother hadn't picked him up and I guess he wanted me to feel that bit of panic. It worked. I scolded him and gave him the lecture of inappropriate behavior. It took me a few minutes to compose myself.