Anyone heard of Asperger's?
19 Mar 07
I live with a man who has Asperger's syndrome. Essentially, he's a brilliant mind, but he has a difficult time understanding social cues. He can't "sense" how people are feeling and so he goes through social situations in his life like a bull in a china shop. That is to say that he has no awareness of how his actions and the things he says are going to affect other people, so basically, he's generally scared to socialize at all. Our relationship is hard because he never knows or understands when I want romance or affection from him. He often comes off as cold or uncaring. Quite the opposite is true. He's willing to do anything I ask of him, but he just can't "feel out" my emotions and so intimate situations with him have the effect of feeling like "Popcorn with no butter" sometimes. It can be hell. He compensates for this by being a clown: he bends over backwards to make people laugh, to always cheer me up and to diminish the negatives in any given situation so that his brashness is more camoflaged and he's at least interacting in a POSITIVE way. This can still be infuriating at times because sometimes you feel like your concerns are being steamrolled with jokes. I love him dearly, and I know that he loves me, but I'm not so sure I can live with him or that we're compatable. But then I feel guilty and think: "if he's not compatable with ME- a person who loves him and who smart enough to understand him, then who CAN he love? If *I* don't keep trying, is he destined to live out his life alone?"
• United States
12 Mar 07
Sometimes Asperger's is confused with Tourettes Syndrome due to many of the same symptons. (Tourette's is often thought of as the "twitch" illness, because it's victims often have uncontrollable tics and twitches.) The difficulty socializing can arise out of their awareness of their difficulties and fear of other's reactions. Normally people with these problems are fairly intelligent. Once you get to know them, they are also very likable.