What would be your choice?

Philippines
March 12, 2007 3:29am CST
Let's say a pregnancy becomes life threatening to the mother. A choice is given - whether to save the baby (but the mother dies) or save the mother (but the baby dies). Moms/Would-be-moms, what would be your choice? Dads/Would-be-dads, who would you save? If I were in this situation, I would probably choose to live. For one, I already have a daughter. Second, if it was my first pregnancy and the doctor says that I will never bear a child again, there's always the option of adoption. Some may call me selfish, but I wouldn't want my child to grow up without a mother. How about you?
5 people like this
45 responses
@cefaz_21 (2597)
• Philippines
12 Mar 07
This is hard, specially to me who is yet to bear a child and having a hard time at it. Initial reaction would be to choose the life of my baby, but thinking again..well I know my husband's gonna choose me and save my life..and I would agree becasue like you I would not want my child to grow without a mom too. But we will pray hard that God would spare the baby's life too. Ugh..really hard situation, hope I'll not and never go through this. :)
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
yes, this is a hard situation. i have never been in this situation but it came to my mind yesterday thus the post. anyway, i hope you won't go through this predicament when you do bear a child.
@landa1 (11)
• Romania
12 Mar 07
well i tink that is beter if the baby will die and the mother survive. u mey sey that i dont have a heart but i tink that is beter to rize the baby with his mother. is not the same the love of another women, "but wath if the moter can have a baby again" u sey yes that is a problem but maybe u can do one in "vitro" or ho knows that depend on the problem that the mother have and ther are many way`s to have a baby this days. well this is my opinion. excuse my english
3 people like this
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
i don't think you don't have a heart given your choice. as you said, everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion. thanks for your response.
• United States
12 Mar 07
Although I would hate to give up my life and I know that my other children would miss me I would have to say let me die I have already talked this situation over with my husband and my other family members when was pregnate if the doctors were sure that my baby would be okay and have a healthy life if I was to die then that is what would have to happen
3 people like this
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
it is a good thing that you and your husband have talked this issue over. at least, you are both in agreement on what you would do if you get into this situation. thanks for the response!
@agusfebi (813)
• Indonesia
12 Mar 07
if my wife in that situation maybe i do same like you, i just want my wife life and we can adoption another child if we want to but having real child from biology is important thing but if my wife must die i can't accept that situation.
2 people like this
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
thank you for sharing your opinion. i hope that this is one decision you will never have to make.
@charms88 (7540)
• Philippines
12 Mar 07
Hello ctv, I honestly can't give you an honest opinion here. I was, in fact, reluctant to reply here. I have two girls of my own. To see them growing everyday, I kept thinking what if I chose to save myself, my little ones wouldn't have the chance to explore the world. On the other hand, I'm a religious person. I might ask God for guidance. What you're saying are not wrong. Who knows...I might make the decision to live too.
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
yes, it is really hard to say especially since you've never been in the situation. and i hope you (and me) won't be in one.
• United States
12 Mar 07
call me selfish but I would have to let the baby die because i got 3 other children who would need me to be there.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Mar 07
I understand that you would choose to live because you're right...you're kids would rather have you then another sister or brother. Kids need their moms.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
i don't think it's selfish. everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion. thanks for the response.
@justinus (1110)
• Karawaci, Indonesia
13 Mar 07
I choose the mother alive because perhaps there still her other children still needs her.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
thank you for sharing your view on this. i hope that this is one decision you will never have to make.
• Malaysia
13 Mar 07
i'm a would-be-dad. my wife is in early 30's and this is her first pregnancy. if the situation comes, i would say, save the mother. my reason is simple - she's my first love. and always be. but i hope i don't have to make that decision.
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
congratulations on your wife's pregnancy! i hope that it will be a smooth one (with no complications) so that you will never have to make this decision. thank you for sharing your insight on this.
13 Mar 07
I agrre with you. See if live, and as miracles happens in life, you may concieve later. Who knows??. If at all you don't, as you said you can always adopt a baby. Life is so precious you can not let it go so easily right?. There is nothing selfishness in that. And you need to be selfish in life up to certain extent, in some times. I definately agree with you.
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
thank you for sharing my view. and same as my wish for the rest of those who responded to my discussion, i hope that this is one decision that you will never have to make. =)
@smkwan2007 (1036)
• Hong Kong
13 Mar 07
Mother - If pregnancy causes extreme danger to a woman's health, I prefer to save the mother prior to the not yet born baby.
It is difficult to decide. If the mother's health is really bad, but she insists on giving birth to her baby, then the situation is even more complicated. Because that is her eager wish which you can't ignore. Once she gets emotional for the decisions made by other people to remove the baby. her health may be unstable which is quite possible to expose both the baby and the mother to danger. In such condition, I think the best choice is to calm down the mother and persuade her that she may always have a baby again when her health is getting better. And I prefer to save the mother and forgo the not yet born baby, because it is a life form which has not yet experienced the human world. But a mother is already an exiting life form, human and saving her life is a priority.
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. i hope that this is one decision you will never have to make.
@Bangalorean (1282)
• India
13 Mar 07
In such a situation, I would opt for my wife first. For she is more precious to me. Children for that matter can be adopted, but a true partner can never be replaced
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
thank you for your response. i hope that this is one decision you and your wife will never have to make.
@Ziezie (42)
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
I'd say I'd just give up my future baby's life. It's hard to do that but there are many things to consider. It may sound selfish, but it's not. First things first, if I have a child already, wouldn't my children suffer if I die? Who would care for them except their dad? They also need a mother's love. I can still have another child if I let this child die. If not, then I'd thank the Lord that he gave me a chance to have children. If it's His will that I woouldn't have a child then so be it. I can still adopt children if I really wanted to have a child.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
thank you for your insights on this. i hope that this is one decision you will never have to make.
@clod0327 (817)
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
If this would be our last chance of having a baby and there’s really no way for us to have another baby again, I would say I would choose to die and save the baby. At least before I die I was able to give my husband a son/daughter, which I know is the greatest thing a wife, could ever give her husband. But if I we’re to decide now that I have a year old daughter, I would choose to save my life than the baby. Like you, I want to take care of my daughter also, and I don’t want her to grow up without a mother.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
the way we view things in life really change depending on our current situations. already having a child makes us want to live longer to care for them and see them grow. when we were still childless, i also thought that if i were faced with this dilemma, i would save the child. i also believed that it is the greatest thing i could give my husband (sort of a memory of me). but now that we have a child, i still would want to live and be a mother to her.
@fatragu (446)
• United States
13 Mar 07
When I was in the hospital to have my first daughter they asked my hubby if it came down to it who to save and he said save my wife we can always have more kids. Well fast forward 3 years and am now facing problem with my pregnancy that if I happen to go into preterm labor at home then it will definatly be a choice but I have a 2yr old and a 10 month old and so we decided that we would choose me because we can't think of any stable family members who would be able to help out if I wasn't around. Personally I would always choose the mother's life over the baby's life because you can always try again and if not there are plenty of babies and children that need loving homes.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
hugs to you! i hope and pray that your pregnancy will smoothly so you wouldn't have to make the difficult decision of choosing between your life or your child's. it is not easy and never will be. take care!
• United States
13 Mar 07
With my last prenancy, I developed a condition called Post Partum Cardiomyopathy. Even though I healed from this, any other pregnancy that would happen could cause it to resurface thus endangering my life or my unborn child's life. So if I became pregnant again, I would have to choose to abort. Even though I would not like that decision. My husband and I have talked this over and this is what we have decided together. Though we are taking precautions now so that doesn't happen, we plan to make things more permanant in the future so that we won't have to make a decision such as this.
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
thank you for sharing your story. i'm glad that you went through your last pregnancy well. i hope that your next pregnancies will be smooth and that you will not have to make this decision.
@mschiqui (1284)
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
Very hard situation.. I am a mother already and giving a birth is not easy, but being a mother is such a wonderul feeling..For me if i am in that situation i will tell me husband to let me live and maybe we could go some medications and find ways too, that will help me get into pregnacy with out loosing the baby.. I mean our technology today is very high, and with prayers also, I know that someday we could have the baby,,So patience would be the virtue and prayers would help also...So the nest time i got pregnant, it is ok already,no need to choose between the mother and the baby, cause it will both live..
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
thank you for sharing your insights on this. i hope that this is one decision you will never have to make.
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
I don't know, that is a very difficult situation. I am a mother and I know that I love my son very much. Then if one day the choice is to choose one to live is a tough one. Maybe mother will give up for her son to live.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
yes, this is a difficult situation and a difficult decision to make as well. i hope that you will never have to make this decision anytime in your life.
• Japan
13 Mar 07
If this ever happened to me, it would probably be the hardest decision of my life. One of my biggest fears is that my daughters (I have 2) will not remember me. I also have a selfish fear that I do not want them to call anyone else Mommy. I earned that right through the painful 9 months of pregnancy and the VERY painful labor. If I were to die giving birth to another child, that would be one of my fears coming to life, my children not remembering me. Then my other fear could come into play and they could call someone else mom. The other side of me thinks that I should do absolutely everything to save my child's life. I have had a miscarriage before and it was absolutely devastating. I could never imagine losing another baby. I just hope and pray that I will never have to make this decision.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
it is definitely a difficult decision. i have the same fears as yours -- that they wouldn't remember me or that they will call someone else Mommy. i am also sorry for your miscarriage. i have never had one but i know how devastating it can be for some people. i hope and pray, too, that this is one decision that you will never have to make.
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
13 Mar 07
I think it is a very hard choice to make. I love life so much and I guess I am selfish in a way. I would choose me over the baby. I would not want a baby to grow up without a mother. I had too and I hate it. I miss not having my mother. I would rather suffer the guilt of letting my child die than knowing that she or he grows up without a mommy to take care of them.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
this is indeed a very hard choice to make. and i am sorry that you had to grow up without a mother. i guess your experience (what you had to go through) greatly influences your choice on this one. thank you for sharing. i hope that this is one decision you will never have to make.
@raheel07 (485)
• Pakistan
13 Mar 07
If child will be healthy and If would be a mom, I would sacrifice my life. But if logical thought, and I am dad then I would safe my wife because at that moment everyone would need her more because she is there in the world.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
thanks for your response. i hope that this is one decision you will never have to make.