What would YOU have done?

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There is an incident that occured several years ago between my husband and I and quite honestly I felt I handled the situtation very well. He obviously does NOT feel the same way as he keeps bringing it up in the middle of arguements, saying I don't trust him. Even though I have talked this over many times with my close friends who have even shared their views with him on the matter, he still maintains that I was unfair to him and showed him that I did not trust him at all. Am looking for insight and opinions that will hopefully help us to 'bury the hatchet' so to speak....please read on.... My husband and I married in 1999 after a very whirlwind romance that started in an online chat room. We connected in a way that I have to admit I hadn't ever in my life. To the marriage we brought children, each of us, from seperate relationships/marriages and of course, excess emotional baggage from those same previous relationships/marriages. It was a second marriage for both of us and we knew that a blended marriage was going to be rough at times. We knew what we were getting into. Our first year of marriage was rough in a lot of ways. Adjustments for the kids, new school for the oldest, one of the kids was hospitalized, job changes...if you have ever been in a sitution like, you know the stress factors it can have on each person and the marriage in general. However, we were (and still are) very much in love with each other and loved (and still love) our children and want the best life possible for them. My husband had changed jobs right before our first anniversary to a better paying job with insurance. Right after our first anniversary, he was working on training a guy to run a machine on evening shift (my husband ran the same machine during the day). It was overtime and I certainly was not in ANY way going to tell him 'NO honey, I do NOT want you to work overtime and bring that NASTY money home...' With training this guy, he usually made 10-20 hours of overtime each week, which was great financially for us. I worked from home running a home based daycare so his work schedule was not ever a problem. One particular afternoon, he hadn't told me that he was working overtime and he was usually home at 3pm when he didn't work over. When 3pm came and went, I just naturally thought he was working over, still training that guy. Well, my daycare kids had been picked up and my oldest had gotten off the bus and it was now well past his normal time of being home, even with training this guy. And I knew we had an appointment for one of the kids at 5pm so I thought I would call and see just what time he would be home so I knew whether to go ahead with the appointment without him or not. I called the office and asked if I could leave a message for my husband (as I knew it wasn't an emergency) though I did explain why I needed to talk to him. They were going to let me go ahead and talk to him and asked who my husband was--I told them and the receptionist told me to hold on. When she came back on the line, she said he didnt' answer the page, so that would mean he wasn't there. I figured he had already left and thanked her and hung up. He was only working across town so I figured that he was on his way home and shouldn't be much longer. I waited til a little bit after 5pm and when I didn't see nor hear anything out of him, I decided to call back. I talked to a different receptionist and I explained that I had called earlier and that my husband didn't answer the page which made me think he was on the way home and he wasn't here. She took his name and went to check through the plant and asked me to hold in the mean time. When she came back on the line, she told me that his time card said he was out at 2:34pm that afternoon. I asked if she was sure as he had been staying over training a guy to run the slitter (the machine). She asked me to hold on again while she checked with the second shift supervisor. When she came back on, she told me that the second shift supervisor had not seen him all evening. I thanked her and she said that she hoped everything was alright. After I hung up, my first instinct was to call the hospital and police. After calling both and not finding that my husband had been admitted and that there was no wrecks, I didn't know what to think but my imagination was going into overtime. Much as I wanted to be absolutely furious, I thought to myself, 'now how should I handle this?' and reacted differently. Knowing both my husband and I had had bad relationships and lots of emotional scars, I didn't want to make his wounds worse and I didn't want mine to make a mountain out of a molehill. Ok so what to do...so I decided to put the kids in the car and ride to his job. I wanted to see if his vehicle was there or not...maybe he had stayed after to talk to someone..maybe he had problems with the truck...I wanted to know that he was ok and safe and then I would deal with the rest later after I had cooled down. I felt I was AT LEAST due and explanation as to where he was since he had worried the crap out of me. So I drive to his job...took me all of 10-15 minutes as we were only a couple miles from his job. I pull into the parking lot and sure enough, there is his truck. His truck there but his time card says he left at 2:30pm????? ooooooo I am getting REALLY angry. So I decide to leave a note in his truck, simply stating, 'we need to talk as soon as you get home' and signed my name and left. The appointment we had was with an in-home therapist and she was waiting at the house for me as soon as I got back (right around 6pm). I briefly explained what was going on and she said that if he got home before she left, she would watch all the kids for a bit so he and I could go outside and talk. That would be a good idea...the kids did not need to hear this conversation at all. So about 6:15pm, he comes in the back door. I quietly told him we needed to go outside and talk. Though at the time I had no idea what I was going to say, I knew that I had to not let my imagination get the best of me and I knew that I couldn't make assumptions. So I just quite honestly asked him where he was and he said, 'Work...you know I have been training someone to run the machine that I do' and I stated that I had called his work and what had been told to me and that I would like an explanation as to where he was. He started getting defensive and said that I didnt' trust him. I told him that I was worried about where he was since his job said he wasn't there and I had no idea where he was. He told me that I should have come in the factory and found him if I doubted anything. And that all I had to do was look at this paycheck next week and it would show his overtime hours. I was told I didn't trust him and that if I loved him, I would doubt him at all. Well honestly I didnt' know what to say but I did know that I didn't want to argue. He did say that he was going to take it up with the office about what had been said. I tried to keep things as low key as possible. I didn't accuse at all. I just simply wanted to know what was going on. The next day he came home and explained to me that when he worked training this guy, he had to clock out on his day shift time card and clock back in on an evening shift card. He had even made a copy of the hours so he could prove to me that he was indeed there. He didn't need to do all of that however I told him that I apprceiated the effort he went through to bring this information to me. And I dropped it, right then and there. I didn't yell or call names or accuse. However to THIS day, he tells me that I DID accuse him by not trusting him. This is thrown in my face time and time again during an arguement. I felt I handled things well. I haven't EVER gone into a job of a boyfriend/fiance/husband unless it was a company party or some other event. What do you think? Did I handle things right? Should I have done something differently? Is my husband over-reacting? I would really like to hear opinions on this very sensitive (to us) matter.