How do I build my patience to handle my 10 month old kiddo ...

Kid when she makes a mess  - The photo is of a kid clamping her hand when she makes mess
India
March 12, 2007 10:42am CST
I have a 10 month old daughter who has started learning to walk by holding on to objects like the couch, bed or table .. she is becoming naughtier by the day .. due to house chores I keep loosing out my patience on her when she spills something or makes some mess .. it increases my work more and I end up getting totally bugged and irritated on her .. i do realise after a while that I am unnecesarrily removing it on my 10 month old baby who is curious to learn more .. she does things out of sheer curiosity .. how can I build my patience so that I do not act the same way with her even while in pressure ...???
7 people like this
33 responses
@ragmama (536)
• United States
12 Mar 07
Oh, I know how easy it is to lose patience when there's just always something new to clean up...but try to step back and remember, when it happens, that she's still a baby, and she doesn't mean to make messes or make more work for you. She just doesn't understand consequences of her actions yet. It's a completely normal part of being a child. The best advice I can give you, is to do something for yourself whenever you can. When she's napping, do something that you WANT to do, not something that you think you should be doing. Get out of the house without her when you can. I know that both of those feel completely unnatural at this stage, but having some time to myself always helped me to be more patient with my daughter when it was time to "get back to work." And remember that this too shall pass. You've seen how quickly ten months has flown by, and the next ten will go just as fast...then ten more...before long, she won't be making these kinds of messes, and she'll be able to help you clean them up when they do happen. Try to enjoy every little thing about your precious little girl - even the more irritating things - because they all pass by too quickly.
• India
12 Mar 07
Yes giving time to myself can help .. its true that I dont get to do anything that I really want to and maybe get irritated because of that .. I shall try it .. Thanks!
1 person likes this
@beaniegdi (1966)
12 Mar 07
Babies are not naughty and when they start to walk etc you have to make sure everything is out of her reach so she can't spill things. If this is not possible could you not get a play pen that she can play inside while you do your jobs? Or could someone mind her for you for a bit to give you a rest? If you feel that bad you may have a bit of depression, lots of new mums get it and you might need some antidepressants from the doctor. Remember also that your household jobs will always be there but your daughter will grow and before you know it be in playschool, nursery and then school full time and you will get your routine back. See if a family member or friend would take her off your hands for a bit each day to give you chance to do your jobs.
• United States
12 Mar 07
Just wanted to say that I agree with you ... Both of my kids were the same way , I just put them up out of their reach ,one my kids were old enough to walk I got them a little vaccume ...lol but they enjoyed being able to help mommy , until they got older of course now my oldest in 9 and the youngest is 3 both in school and into doing their own thing ... I miss the younger days alot !!! They grow up way to fast ....
• India
12 Mar 07
Yes I do have people around me like her grandma and grandpa to relief me for a while but I want to build my patience more for the coming days cos I am aware things are going to get more complicated in future :) And I do agree house work has no end .. i have to give more priority to the way I treat my kid .. Thanks !!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Mar 07
When my daugther was 8-12 months old, she was very hyperactive. She wants to touch everything. As parent we to have long, long patience. If your having trouble having patience, just think that your child is growing and you will be able to surpass everything. Just enjoy every moment of your child.
2 people like this
• India
12 Mar 07
Thanks for your response !
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Mar 07
Just think that you were once a kid. And remember that when she grows up, you'll miss her childhood days when she still has no one but you. Be patient and loving.
2 people like this
• India
12 Mar 07
Thanks for your response !
1 person likes this
• Singapore
13 Mar 07
ha... tell me about it... i just keep in mind she's a kid all the time... so i don't lose my temper... you can keep her in a playpen so she doesn't get the whole room messed up... or, you can take her outdoors to burn out her energy so when she's indoors, she's not so hyper... i've been there... 10 month old babies are all hyper... try mine... you'll have the urge to throw her out the window (just a figure of speech)... now it's just messing up... wait till the time when she learns the word "why", you'll be even more irritated... trust me on this... hahahhaa... better learn to build up you patience now... patience is never enough when dealing with kids... they're a bottomless pit when it comes to patience... good luck...
2 people like this
@wenfri (1188)
• Canada
12 Mar 07
Patience with toddlers is hard at the best of times LOL Spend time playing with her (I know you do) This is going to be the hard part When I had a toddler and one in diapers the house work slid backwards big time. Mind you it wasn't dirty but untidy Relax they are curious Good thing that they are Cause if they weren't you be 100 times more stressed and worried about what is wrong with her Wendy
1 person likes this
• India
12 Mar 07
Yep .. I wouldnt like it if she stayed in one corner doing nothing .. :)
• United States
13 Mar 07
...we always put everything up out of their reach.. somehow letting the housework slide never seemed to be much of a hardship, lol.. but now that my kids are 26 and 24, I wish I would have slowed way down and just enjoyed them more fully everyday. They are never young again and it goes by so very quickly.. [Everyone I know feels that way! From my generation that is.] :))
• United States
13 Mar 07
If you are worried about her spilling something then make sure that anything that can be spilled is placed somewhere high up. Cleaning up messes comes with having kids. If she makes a mess with toys then make a game of putting them away. If she makes a mess with things that she shouldn't have then just make sure those things aren't within her reach.
• Singapore
13 Mar 07
i agree with your part on cleaning up... kids and cleaning up endlessly comes in a huge package...
2 people like this
@flowerchilde (12534)
• United States
13 Mar 07
...put everythiung up! That's what we always did. It's a longheld family tradition! I never was the best housekeeper, so letting the house be a little more shabby around the edges didn't bother me.. (Still doesn't!) I wish I would have slowed down and just enjoyed my kids more. Now my kids are 26 and 23, and I don't remember how clean my house was, or what book I was reading.. or wanted to read :)! I wish I would've just slowed right down and really spent everyday more fully with my kids. Cuz it's so ver-ry fleeting...
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
"Patience is reaching the breaking point without breaking". if you feel that you are about to loose control please do remember that your child is God's children and He is just allowing us to borrow His kids, we are stewards of HIS creation,and if we do not take good care of those He allow us to have,He might take the responsibilities from us, and try to think of it, When we reached our old days, when we don't know how to take care of ourselves, It will be our children who will do all things for us, what we sow is what we reap. This thoughts I keep to myself for me to lengthen my patience, I know it will work if you'll try.
1 person likes this
@Jenette (37)
• India
13 Mar 07
I understand how it is cause I have also gone through the same , when you have the first child you tend to pass this stage but gradually it you will adjust to it. Well there is nothing that you can really do just have to go through it, try to see the positive side of you child as how cute she is or her deeds are. Keeps all the things at home out of her reach
1 person likes this
@gbaben (509)
• Russian Federation
13 Mar 07
You need to employ someone that will be assisting you in your home work.it seems your work in the house is too much,in addition to your child problem.
1 person likes this
13 Mar 07
I went through a similar phase with both my daughters - and it doesn't really get better until they get past the age of two and you can explain and reason with them. Wait until your daughter is in bed to do the jobs you really need to do! Count to ten every time she spills something on your just cleaned floor! And make sure you preserve some quality time with her every day! At the end of the day it doesn't really matter if the house is a mess - people expect it when you have a toddler! Hope this helps!
@selvi4184 (101)
• India
13 Mar 07
Try to change your attitute.. While baby doing some naughties, put all your work aside and watch her and make fun of that, so that your baby will enjoy. By the same time you try to teach her something like asking her to bring something, tell to keep the thing from where she took, etc
1 person likes this
@emarie (5451)
• United States
12 Mar 07
for me, it was just time. after a while i learned how to deal with my children. now i have 2 todlers and a nephew almost 2 i look after during the day. i lose my cool sometimes, but i just have to step back and calm down. a good way is to make sure everything is child safe from the waist down. since she's becoming mobile now, if you take away most things that can make a mess, then you should be alright. schedual chores around when you can leave her alone like nap time or only do the important things. and save some of the non important things when she goes to be. another way is schedual a certian amount of time to do housework. place her in a playpen and then do your housework. since it will only be for a little bit, an hour or 2, it should be alright to have her occupy herself with some toys. just remember when she learns to walk better, she'll be able to help with small things like cleaning up her play area.
1 person likes this
@Trace86 (5033)
• United States
12 Mar 07
Babies are by nature curious. She will want to explore her universe. You need to babyproof your house.Anything that you don't want to be explored or messed with, needs to be put away. Anything that can be spilled, will. Is there a room you could totally babyproof and then put a gate across the doorway so she can't get out while you get some work done? Realizing that getting mad at her is not right, is the first step.
• United States
12 Mar 07
10 month olds can't be naughty she is curious and learning. I have 4 children 6,4,3, and 3 months they make messes. kids are very curious they can only get into what you leave out. learn patience, its a virtue. trust me i know how you are feeling I am constantly cleaning. but to try to keep your house clean will be impossible. with children your house will never be absolutley perfect. she is not meaning to make you mad she is not trying to make your job harder she is just learning and that is part of life. you need to learn that when she does this she not trying to annoy. If you find yourself getting annoyed walk away and count to 10 and then come back and tell her that its ok and mommy loves you.
1 person likes this
• India
17 Mar 07
first try to be happy forever. if you have a lot of external work, just reduce them till your child grows.since you may show your thing on the child. sit with the child and talk with them for a while. even they can't understand,they like her mother to speak with them. they won't disturb you even afterthat. really it's your hand to make the character of child.understand that you have also crossed such a stage in your life.your mother has showed you the patience, that's why you love her till now. be patient to your child.
@tad1fan (3373)
• Canada
15 Mar 07
Sit back,take a good long look at her and her size.....you need to expect messes and other things to come from her,she's not old enough yet to have learned the difference.....
@arvee17 (730)
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
My son is two years old now so i know what you mean. But i never felt irritated with him every time he messes the house and spill everything on the floor that i need to always clean everything up every time he is there. I mean, my job is to clean his mess and his job is to mess things up. This is the time that they are so curious about everything they see and they want to hold and touch everything they can reach. I make him enjoy this stage by simply let him do his thing. and when he is over with it, then that is the time i clean it up. I can't tell him not to play because i always want him to play. just try to play with your daughter now and be happy that she is a curious baby. it means she is developing her motor skills so try to encourage as much as possible. According to a book that i read that the first 3 years of a baby's life is the most important year that they could have because this is the time they are developing their skills. so the more you encourage her to be curious the more she will be intelligent. I think, you thinking about how she would be intelligent and well verse in the future would give the patience your are looking for. Your baby first before you... good luck!
• India
13 Mar 07
this is all a part of every mother's life.think how you would feel when your daughter has grown big and you tell her all the naughty things she did in her childhood.....if you are frustrated and don't want any of this then you will feel that you have missed something great in your past life.so live your life. cheers!!!!