Familiarity breeds contempt - What do you think?
By Andrew O
March 13, 2007 10:33am CST
I have many close friends before. Now, there is less close friends. The reason is because many of these so called friends took our familiarity for granted. They would start taking your things without asking. They even would answer the phone and decide things for you without checking up with you. Then, trouble starts to brew and friends turned into foes. Have you have similar situations like this? How did you handle it?
13 Mar 07
I honestly don't understand, creationhub... That is not friends, you're talking about! Friends that don't respect your privacy and your own "space" are not friends at all. Let alone the take decisions for you... where on earth did you find them - lol? My friends would never come up with such things, and I am talking friends here for over 30 years... we respect and trust each other and even if we don't see each other for a while - which happens nowadays more often than in my earlier years - we pick up where we left. That is what I call friends!!
13 Mar 07
Hi Eli, have not heard from you for some time already. You are truly a friend because you never failed to tell me the truth. Most of the others would respond with nice words as not to offend, but I like your style. Bold, truthful and clear. That's a real friend.
13 Mar 07
I encountered the same situation as you before. There was once when this guy who was my 'best friend' just changed into my shorts and slept in my bed - when he came from some outside activity that didn't exactly encourage fragrance. Naturally, being the good me, I didn't turn him away since he said he was tired. But this is exactly one case of a good friend taking things for granted. Though I was a bit upset, I chose to look at it from another angle - shouldn't you be glad that your friendship with that person has advanced to such a level that he/she chose to take you for granted? ;-)
• United States
17 Mar 07
That's terrible! I don't care how close you are, he should have taken a shower!! If I am odoriferous, I would never get into my friend's bed before taking a shower no matter how tired I am! Being good friends is never an excuse to take something like that for granted. There are some things you can take for granted: knowing for sure you can call on him anytime you need someone to talk and he will give up a day of fun for you just because he is needed and knows you would do the same for him, that he knows for sure he has a bed to crash on anytime he needs it (but please, he must bathe!), knowing that he can come over without calling first and expect a warm welcome, even if you weren't prepared to host! Those are some things I would tolerate in my good friends just because I call them friends!
18 Mar 07
Yes I know the feeling , early in my life i learned about how bad it can be so I started to keep much distances between me and friends and get rid or irritating ones, it's not always easy thing to do and also i don't want to turn anyone to an enemy but generally I take long time to befriends anyone to get to know them better so that saves me from a lot of troubles.
• United States
13 Mar 07
I believe that some people misunderstand the meaning of friendship and so the people they call their friends are not necessarily true friends. I believe true friends would never do such things. Of course, no one is perfect and sometimes friends may slip and do something that is not quite in keeping with the values of friendship but if they are true, they acknowledge the wrong and/or try to make amends because they love you and don't want to hurt you. That's what true friends do. Anyone else would not care about you or what you thought. Have you tried talking to these friends to tell them that what they are doing is not "sitting right" with you, before things got out of hand so much that trouble started brewing? If you cannot communicate your thoughts to your friends even if they are not such pleasant thoughts and are directly related to your friends' actions, then it can't be much of a friendship! Or even if you can't verbally communicate, they must be able to see from your actions or your body language that you are not happy and if they are true friends, they would want to know what is wrong and how they could help. And then the door is open for you to explain what you need to tell them. Friends should never take each other for granted so much they turn into foes! Here's hoping that you form some true friendships! Be blessed!