allowance- how much is too much?

@Caila611 (992)
United States
March 14, 2007 11:32pm CST
My ex husband gives my daughter $20.00 every two weeks for doing nothing! I have a HUGE problem with that and have been round and round with that man about it but he is going to do his own thing and not listen to me. So she can't understand why we son't give her an allowance. We make her keep her room clean (although lately that hasn't been happening), feed the cat, and set the table for dinner. But because she has been slacking on her chores she hasn't earned any of it but she seems to think she deserves it. NOT GONNA HAPPEN! How much is too much?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@c2adams2 (351)
• United States
16 Mar 07
Well, I saw many comments about getting $5 a week, but we must remember that things cost a different amount today. Have you ever tried to buy anything with five dollars? And as to your ex-husband, you are not going to change anything. He will do things the way he wants. I would suggest being thankful that your daughter's father cares enough to see her every-other week, let alone give her money. A lot of mothers out there don't even get their child support, let alone extra money for the kid. Mine didn't even know how to spell my name, and didn't speak to me for twelve years. In a divorce one of the most important rules is to pick your battles. Honestly, this one simply doesn't sound that bad when compared to the horrible things that happen in broken families.
2 people like this
@Caila611 (992)
• United States
16 Mar 07
what do you think of him making her use it for buying clothes?
1 person likes this
@c2adams2 (351)
• United States
16 Mar 07
I believe that might be helpful. Clothing, gas if she is the appropriate age, special things for school, etc. It all depends. Is there an activity (band or athletic camp) that the money could be saved for? Do you go on a vacation that she could use the money to buy suveniers? I think that putting yourself at odds on this issue will only vilify you. Lets be honest that the parent with custody is not the most popular person, because the parent with visitation is all fun and games. The only thing I can say is the same thing that my mother always said in reguards to my father. Never involve the child in any arguments between you. If your ex wants to give her this money, have a talk with him about how you want you child to learn responcibility, then see if there is a proposal you can both agree upon to use this money for something that will be productive in her life. Also, parents give their children money for things like going to the movies...frivolous things that while they are not part of building responcibility, they are part of childhood. The most difficult line we walk as parents is the line between adulthood and childhood, and sometimes the answers are not easy. I hope this helps, and feel free to ask more questions if I wasn't clear.
• United States
15 Mar 07
I think a child should earn their allowance. They get money for being responsible young adults. Doing their chores and helping out. I used to get 5 dollers a week, and that was considered alot, and i dont plan on giving my son any more then that. If he wants more then he can bargen in extra chores for money, say mowing the lawn ect. Thats how i stand. I think shes getting too much for not doing anything.
2 people like this
@Caila611 (992)
• United States
16 Mar 07
my husband (her step dad)and I only give her $5.00 at the end of the week and only if she has done her chores. Which is never lately.
@paidreader (5151)
• United States
15 Mar 07
Hmmm $2/day for his guilt in not being there maybe? I used to get about that much when I was in high school but I had to do an awful lot of chores to earn it. At one point,(7th grade) my first stepmom set up an earning chart so I could earn my spending money. The list had a set price for every chore I did. If I didn't do it right, not only didn't I get paid, but I would have to do it again. By the end of summer I was raking in the change much faster than she ever thought possible. Back then I was thinking she should have just stuck to the $5 a week my dad gave me, because instead I was earning about $10 a week. LOL I thought it was funny then, but after having a daughter of my own, I realised she had been pretty smart to teach me some responsibility and motivated me to "earn" that allowance.
1 person likes this
@Caila611 (992)
• United States
16 Mar 07
Your right about that. It does teach them responisibilty and it teaches them what a job is all about. You do your job you get paid. You don't do it or don't do it right. You get fired and get paid nothing!
1 person likes this