Can you be friends with someone you dated...
By stephbites
@stephbites (61)
March 16, 2007 4:43am CST
Me and my ex have decided to be friends it was over a year ago when we dated..and nothing really bad happened we just kinda stopped and both went onto other things. Now we are going out on nights out together with other mates and stuff and have both disscussed that we are over our relationship and just want to be friends. What i'm worried about is ive never been able to do this before (be mates with an ex) and even though its going ok at the moment...i'm concerned that the old sparks will come back!! is it possible to be real friends with someone you have been romantically involved with?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@Denmarkguy (1845)
• United States
17 Mar 07
From personal experience-- definitely YES.
That said, the friendship is not going to look and feel the same as your other friendships... because you have shared "something" you haven't shared with your other friends. I had a friend I was close (friends-only) to for almost 10 years... then we both found ourselves divorced and got together for a while, but discovered we were better at being friends than at "playing house," so we went back to being "just friends." And that has worked for another 8 years.
But you have to be VERY honest-- with yourself, and with each other. If/when the "old sparks" come back (and odds are there are moments they will) you have to stop and think about and REMIND yourself WHY it was you broke up. Remind yourself that your EX is still the person who annoyed you enough to break up.
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
16 Mar 07
of course it is..and I for one, could never understand why some ppl think you cant be friends after the relationship ends...I mean there was something that attracted the two ppl and got them together in the first place ya know..they enjoyed each others company and so on so after the break up and the dust settles etc why shouldnt they be able to be friends again? I'm friends with most of my ex's and my kids father and I became really close....to the poitn that he'd call me to complain about his gf LOL knowinig full well that I'm gonna call him out on his behaviour etc
