Great Truths from Children

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NO matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato. You can't trust dogs to watch your food. Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac. Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time. School lunches stick to the wall. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. It's hard to unlearn a bad word. Ask Why until you understand. It's easier to see the mistakes on someon else's paper. A pencil without an eraser may as well just be a pen. It's only funny to play school when you're the teacher. Sometimes the best one in the play has the fewest lines. Twelve is a lot older than eight. Crawling still gets you there. If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse. Your room gets smaller as you get bigger. You can't start over just because your losing the game. A snow day is more fun than a vacation day. All libraries smell the same. Ask where things come from. Don't nod on the phone.