Why do the inlaws always try to let the family down.
March 16, 2007 1:06pm CST
back about 1 1/2 yrs ago my hubby son and i lived with the inlaws for a few months until we got a place of our own. my mom inlaw and i get along great and she always has tried to help. but her husband is a real dick. well we moved out and consequently moved to another state, and they always say they are comming up to see us. in fact they have been telling us since our sons birthday in september that they will come and see us. weve been here for a little over a year now. they missed coming in september and then they headed up went from fl to ga to sc and then mo after mo they were supposed to come here but my hubbys brothers baby was born so instead of coming the 12 hours to come here they turned around and went back to sc 18 hrs called and said maybe next time. this hurt my son and husband so very much. and when they got back to sc they couldnt even see the kid or anyone until the next day. would it have really hurt them to come here first. ok so then they went back to fl. they keep saying that they are coming and all but now they have been in houston for a month staying with my hubbys step sister and they keep saying next weekend and then when the weekend comes they call and say maybe next weekend. now again i got the call maybe sunday but dont hold us to it because maybe it will be next week sometime. this is hurting my husband to the point that it ruins our weekends horribly. I AM SO SICK OF IT. i like his mom and she likes me but i hate his stepdad because hes the one that calls and "decides" it will be better another day. what should i do? my husband will ask me if they are coming or if i have heard from them and now i have to tell him that it might abe next week now. we even got into a horrible fight last night and when we finally got down to the bottom of it its because my dad has been here twice and he thinks his family doesnt care about him as much as my dad does and this really hurt. they are tearing us apart at the seams and i refuse to let that happen. please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• United States
16 Mar 07
Angel this is all your step dads fault..I was married to a man like that and we had 5 children togeather,when they grew up my son married a wonderful girl and they had 3 babies,for a while i saw them all the time,my daughter in law and I would see each other every day...It happened that they moved to another town,and my son and daughter in law split up (his fault)..well my husband was also a d(my kids father) but i was totally in his control,he called all the shots...I always wanted to go see my ex daughter in law and the babies but he would not go,but always promised too..It wasnt but about a 3 hour drive to her house...Well as it turned out my ex daughetr in law got married again,she really needed help with those babies because my son did not offer her much support...so I totally understood her position...I always loved her and still do,and to me she will always be my daughter in law...The real deal is I let that man control me Angel,and that is what your mother in law is letting your husband do to her.Some women are very weak when it comes to letting a man control them,I know i was..Well I left that man,yes my kids father, but like you said he was a ...I am now free of that bondage and I have grown,never again will i ever let a man stand in the way of my hopes and dreams...That is what is wrong with your mother in law,she has a control freak for a husband...I was a idiot for letting him control me and i missed some years with my grandbabies....I really regret that.I still talk with my daughetr in law,but she understands...I think your mother in law is caught in a trap between her children and her husband...if you ever get a chance to talk with your mother in law without her side kick looking down her neck,then you can tell her how this is hurting your husband and if she is in the right mood at the time i can assure you that the problem is her husband...your mother in law is afraid to be alone and is not an independant woman as i wasn't,it is all due to fear of being alone,and as long as she goes along with him then she is safe.If she ever stood up to him,he would be a bucking horse...Your mother inlaw is making a mistake, but fear is holding her ....I know and until you have been in that situation it is very hard to understand..when I look back now i can see,but then I was blind...Her husband probably eith don't care for your husband because if he truth be known your mother in law favors your husband and he is jealous...
• United States
16 Mar 07
yes she is very afraid of being alone and she does very much favor her son and her husband is very jealous. i do understand that and he is very critical of my husband. in fact once he was treating her like crap and downing my hubby while we lived in a motorhome infront of their house. any way i found out about it because she came out there in tears, i got so mad that i walked in their house and told him all about what i thought he was and that if i ever heard of him doing it again i would put him in his place, my husband thought we were going to get kicked out but he never did it and he also never talked like that infront of me again. she has looked up to me eversince that incident, but this is so hard to see my hubby being torn apart like this. thank you for your comment and it has helped me at least think about her side and forgive her for this but i dont ever think i will forgive him.