Do you count your friends only when you are lonely?

Are you lonely tonight ? - Travelling alone, both physically and mentally tired, suddenly feel myself so small as the star up there while the moon is laughing at me. Oh! How lonely am I
@whyaskq (7529)
Singapore
March 16, 2007 1:30pm CST
I was walking home today, alone. It was one long and tiring day at my client's office, and I still had to lug home my heavy laptop to catch up on some work. It was about 10pm and I could see the evening stars in the sky. An intense feeling seized me out of nowhere - in that one instant, I suddenly felt so small. I was reminded that I was just a tiny spark in the big universe. I looked at the stars, and they stared back at me. There were so many of them, yet I feel so lonely. I remembered a comment by one of my friends. He told me that "Friends are like stars in the evening sky; you only remember to count them when you are lonely." At that moment, I belatedly understood what he meant. I work hard day in day out, and I very seldom pause to take stock of my life. I looked at the stars again and thought of my friends. And like a primary school kid, I began to count who I call "friend". One.. two.. three.. does this happen to you too? Do you count your friends only when you are lonely? Are you taking your friends for granted? Please share with me, thanks.
10 people like this
34 responses
• Ireland
16 Mar 07
I can't say that I have ever counted my friends when I am lonely but your topic reminded me of what my best friend who lives in the UK said to me on my last visit to her. She told me to look up at the brightest star in the sky and she would also look at it. That way I need never feel lonely as we will be sharing the same star. Thanks for sharing your lovely topic. It was really nice to read it.
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48708)
• United Kingdom
16 Mar 07
Alex that is what I do anyway and I always think my thoughts for my Friends and my Kids when I see it and here in Essex I see a lot of them and it is beautiful.
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7529)
• Singapore
17 Mar 07
It's always nice to have supportive friends and able to treasure them :)
@bluewings (3857)
16 Mar 07
I try not to take them for granted.I am not sure how successful I am in my effort.If I ever realise that they felt marginalized due to my actions or inactions ,I'd be very upset with myself. Yes,that question often pops up in my mind-What criteria must a person meet to be called a ''friend''? How do I judge whether the person is not just another face in the wilderness who I happen to know or someone special to me ? Sigh There is no answer...just a bunch of feelings. There are times when one might feel lonely and think of friends.I don't know if I run towards my friends when I am lonely or run from them.But one thing is for sure-When I am with a friend I won't be counting the stars,lol. Next time I count the stars,I will think of my friends and your post :).
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7529)
• Singapore
17 Mar 07
Glad that my post created an impact on you. Thanks for the thought. It really warms my heart :)
@bluewings (3857)
17 Mar 07
:)Glad to hear that.
• Singapore
16 Mar 07
Oh boy, I think I know exactly what you mean. It's quite uncanny really... I was walking home tonight too (though not after work but after dinner with some friends :p) and was thinking quite the same about the stars. Good post you've got here. You deserve another "+". ^^ I *try* to remind myself often of the friends I have. I *try* not to count them only when I am lonely. I *try* to try. :P
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7529)
• Singapore
17 Mar 07
Nice attempt to humour me. Thanks. btw,how often are you lonely?
• Singapore
17 Mar 07
Pretty often. I am feeling lonely and depressed now.
1 person likes this
@hcromer (2710)
• United States
16 Mar 07
I don't try to count how many friends I have until I am lonely and cannot find anyone to hang out with. I don't really count them, but I do think over the list and I know that it is a pretty short one of people who I actually consider friends.
1 person likes this
• China
17 Mar 07
The more friends you have the less difficulty you have,i always believe this statement.We can not consider friends as our tools to get something,but they are those people who really understand our minds and character,and they are trustable men for us.Be careful of friendship.Are you in favor of me?
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7529)
• Singapore
17 Mar 07
Not all acquaintance are considered friends. I think we are in the same boat :(
@weemam (13377)
18 Mar 07
No I count my friend all the time , to be honest I have such a busy life caring for my sick family I never get time to be lonely , and when I have time to myself I am here on My lot chatting to my many more NEW FRIENDS , i count myself as a very lucky person , xx
@whyaskq (7529)
• Singapore
19 Mar 07
May god bless you!
@ana1361 (98)
• Sweden
17 Mar 07
no i think a friend who want you just in the moment of lineliness deserve tu garbage and you should cut your relationship whith that person i think
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7529)
• Singapore
17 Mar 07
Friend, I think cutting off relationship is being too harsh and demanding on friends just because they need you in times of lonelinesss. What are friends for?
• India
17 Mar 07
No . I don't count the friends. Because i will consider all the people are my friends. So its no need to calculate. It is also uncountable one like the stars in sky.
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7529)
• Singapore
17 Mar 07
All the people in the world is your friends. Great! :P
• India
17 Mar 07
Yes I do count my friends when I'm alone.When we are alone and boring we usually think of why we are alone and we will think of our friends.Sometimes we do remember the most beautiful feelings that we had with our friends.But when we meet our friends all that boring goes and we just go on talking to them and will try to enjoy the moment.But keeping our friends in touch will make the difference.So always talk to your friends on phone or chat with them.
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7529)
• Singapore
17 Mar 07
Keep in touch :P
@wim1983 (10)
• Malaysia
17 Mar 07
Well I am living alone until now. I don't really have true friend. It's sad I keep myself alone and living all the way by myself. It's not a selfish attitude when you need your friend because you are not feeling well, human need to survive with care and help. Anyway, true friendship is a gift to our lives, please appreaciate it.
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7529)
• Singapore
17 Mar 07
I do value true friends.
@charms88 (7540)
• Philippines
17 Mar 07
I understand what you mean here, whyaskq. In times of loneliness, you don't know where to seek for comfort. I never took my friends for granted. They know they can count on me whenever they have troubles. They can call me anytime they like. I always hop in to their side if they need me. But I can't count on ALL of them when its my turn to need them. It always left me sad and depressed. If there is one thing I like to change myself, it is to stop CARING for this undeserving friends.
@whyaskq (7529)
• Singapore
17 Mar 07
I think it is in you to care for friends, so maybe it is good idea to continue caring for your "undeserving" friends. Tney will come to appreciate you. How about hopping over to me now?
@winterose (39893)
• Canada
17 Mar 07
no absolutely not, I know my friends and for me they count all the time. When I list the gifts I have in life they are always on the top of the list.
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7529)
• Singapore
17 Mar 07
Glad that you value friends :)
• China
17 Mar 07
When I feel lonely,I always remenber not my friends but my families and lover.One day if i was alone and lonely,I have to call my families and my husband in order to make me comfortable. On the contrary,When I am in a good mood,i count my friends and classmates.and i would invite them to go out for a walk or go dancing and singing. Thank you for a good post that remind me of contacting my friend often.if we do that we won't feel lonely any more,because many friends are around us.
@whyaskq (7529)
• Singapore
17 Mar 07
:)
• China
17 Mar 07
You said right,most of time in my silence,often i think of my friends,when i am in trouble and difficulty,i think of my friends,because at that moment i really want to get help and comfort from them.But indeed,what's friend in our mind,it's a person who we can depend on when we are lonely and helpless.However friends are not our tools which we utilize to accomplish our goals,they only our helper and the most trustable people.
@whyaskq (7529)
• Singapore
17 Mar 07
What an insight - helper and trustable. I like it.
@ipodbaby (53)
• Philippines
17 Mar 07
I have a lot of friends, tho' i stick to those who are "real". Those real friends of mine are my bestest friends ever. They are there on my lowest times but they also stick around me on my joyful days. They're there for me always. And i'm so thankful to have them. I don't need to be lonely just so i can count my friends..but i always do have them in mind everyday =)
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7529)
• Singapore
17 Mar 07
Friends forever :P
• United States
17 Mar 07
Thanks for your discussion! This is indeed a wake-up call for me. I tend to be so busy at work that I would never even mail my friends back home. My e-mail from my friends in the Philippines have been left unanswered for like several weeks now. Now I feel guilty because I know that my friends are also busy but they still have time to correspond. I shall be communicating with them soon. I don't want to lose my friends because I cherish friendship. It's just that a lot of times I forget them when I'm busy and just remember them when I'm lonely or when I need help. Tsk tsk..
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7529)
• Singapore
17 Mar 07
Do cherish your friends. They do not come easy.
• United States
17 Mar 07
No. I love to count on my friends when I am happy or sad. When I need a good word or just a hug. I love to count on my friends because life can be lonely without them. I count on them in all things, and I hope they do the same and feel the same about me! :)
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7529)
• Singapore
17 Mar 07
Hope we are friends :)
• China
17 Mar 07
I exactly have the same situation with you.When I worked in my company,I lived lonely not with my family.Then when I was very tired and came back home I felt so lonely when I face the room.At this moment,I started to think about my friends and I wanted to talk with them,some times I felt confused that which friend I could call and how many friend I have.As a result,I started to think about that how many friends I have...
@whyaskq (7529)
• Singapore
17 Mar 07
how about calling your family members?
• United States
17 Mar 07
What a nice discussion. No, I can't say that I've ever counted my friends ever (but I do count stars sometimes). I also can't say that I'm taking my friends for granted.
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7529)
• Singapore
17 Mar 07
Your friends will be happy to hear your thoughts :)
@vanities (11409)
• Davao, Philippines
17 Mar 07
not really on same as yours...i was always intouch with them when im still single but now its not the same as before..
@whyaskq (7529)
• Singapore
17 Mar 07
Guess it is same for most with families :)
@grudge (299)
• India
17 Mar 07
Ya sometime it happens , but mostly i talk to my friends and stay with them when i feel lonely
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7529)
• Singapore
17 Mar 07
How does your friends feel when you are not lonely?