Do you ladies feel that sometimes you can do without him ?

@Nikki83 (164)
United States
March 17, 2007 1:05am CST
sometimes i wish i wasn't married. Or a least waited for the real man of my dreams I mean don't get me wrong I love my husband with all my heart in some ways i just wish he was better in some ways like his cleaning behind himself or just cleaning period anything esle I'll take care of the kids the cooking the least he can do is clean so tell me how you ladies feel about this?
1 person likes this
13 responses
@Alaria (59)
• United States
17 Mar 07
hi no I never feel this way but sometimes I wonder what would happen if something happened to him. I have the man of my dreams so I feel fortunate. But I can relate because I felt the way you do about my first husband! But it did not last and I am glad because I met my current husband. But it is hard when you have kids and it is hard when they do not help. hey girl...I can relate. I hope things get better for you.
1 person likes this
@Nikki83 (164)
• United States
17 Mar 07
thank you for your input on this matter
@Lxandra79 (1536)
• United States
17 Mar 07
I dont have a husband but I do have a boyfriend that I love very much. And yes I sometimes feel the same way, like when we lived together the bathroom could be so gross and he doesnt even clean it, I mean i clean it but atleast clean the sink! When we started living with each other he was like 'ok clean after yourself' but when we lived together he didnt do that! and I was like 'tell that to yourself!' Right now it feels like I want a new boyfriend but I cant leave him because he makes me laugh all the time, I love his smile and that brightens my day! The bad part is that he is not romantic, doesnt clean after himself, he doesnt know how to cook, and Ive told him like several times when he goes out with his friends to call me first and let me know, because when i call he doesnt pick up his phone!, and then I think he is out with a girl....but it goes in one ear and out the other!! What to do, I dont know! but we've been together for 1 year and 2 months now, we even talk about getting married...so chica u aint alone!
@Nikki83 (164)
• United States
17 Mar 07
I put it like this are you sure he's not with another woman. usually when a man don't answer his phone while he out. he usually doing something he's not suppose to be doing unless you really trust him. He should have enough respect to let you know that he is going out at least he can do that.
@Lxandra79 (1536)
• United States
17 Mar 07
Yes I trust him fully! It just pisses me off when he doesn't. I did call him last night and when he did answer the phone he said he was going to the Imax theater with his friend Sang. But it just pissed me off that he didn't call me before he went out. Look this guy I know him for 2 years now, I'm his 3rd girlfriend, he is 24, and not that popular with girls, he sometimes wonders why am i with him...lol, I kinda do 2. but when I think about leaving him, I cant! Bcuz I know I will miss him toooo much then i will regret it. Trust me this guy, is to shy to talk to girls.
@Nikki83 (164)
• United States
17 Mar 07
well then do what you must to keep things going with ya'll and you'll see what happens as time passes
17 Mar 07
I feel similar to you.I do think that my husband should help in some small way.But I have found out that men have to be "told" to do things.They will never have the instincts of a woman, and very few men actually do domestic work on their own,without any prompting from the wife.My father is one of those few men.He does everything at home,my mom never has to tell him what to do.Sometimes it is like mom doesn't know where things are in the kitchen!He constantly keeps himself busy doing things to make mom's life easier.I wish my husband would do that.But he is a great guy and I love him no matter what.These days,I just tell him when I need help and he will gladly remember it for his lifetime.That is so much better,isn't it?
@Nikki83 (164)
• United States
17 Mar 07
I think you right cause i do have to tell him what to do instead of him doing it on his own.
@sidoney (1033)
• Jamaica
17 Mar 07
even when I tell him he does nothing he had the nerve the other day talking about my duty
@Nikki83 (164)
• United States
17 Mar 07
your duty huh what is your duty? but to be a mother and caregiver not to clean up behind his behind
• United States
17 Mar 07
Yes, some times I feel he adds to my stress of parenting. I feel like I have a third child. Some times I think I would be better off as a single parent, but on the other hand, I love my husband and I do not know where I would be with out him.... I see some single mothers and I see how hard it actually is and I thank my lucky stars I have my husband.
@sidoney (1033)
• Jamaica
17 Mar 07
its like having a 5 yr old he can bath and wipe his bottom and make cornflakes but the rest is up to you
@Nikki83 (164)
• United States
17 Mar 07
or maybe not
@askguru (96)
• India
18 Mar 07
Yes this kind of feelings happen to everyone i believe, like when you do all the household works, taking care of the kids, sometimes it is very difficult to handle all kinds of work at once, thats why some women has the same feelings like you eventhough they love their husband very much, also thats why they have a feeling that can make them survive without their husband, seems to me like it happens to everyone
@Nikki83 (164)
• United States
18 Mar 07
it just might happen to almost eveyone. We sholudn't have to do eveything ourselves. the men should share some of the house work too
• Philippines
17 Mar 07
I'm a single mother And I raised my son alone without asking financial support from his father. Why not? of course we can do it alone it really depends on you. You know what? being a single mom makes me more stronger I mean in making decisions and facing problems....
@Nikki83 (164)
• United States
17 Mar 07
It does make you stronger cause your by yourself without help everything you have to do is by yourself. I give you the upmost respect cause I wouldn't be able to do it on my own. your strong so continue to be strong. Good luck to you
• Canada
17 Mar 07
Well I married a couple of times and then was single for a looong time and THOUGHT i had found the man of my dreams and lesss then 6 weeks after being married he asked for a divorce and i have been hanging out for the last 8 months hoping he would change his mind but well i have finaly had enough and will be filing myself. i tried everything did everything and nothing was good enough , changed who i was basically and nothing except losing my self rescpect. So if you love him and he loves you I think changing your dream might help. But I shouldnt be giving advice only what has happened to me. Hope things work out and your happy.
@Nikki83 (164)
• United States
17 Mar 07
It doesn't matter how your experience went just if your advice is good I Thank you for your response
@sidoney (1033)
• Jamaica
17 Mar 07
i feel your pain dear i do my man does nothing he goes to work and come home he does not even pick up after him self and to tell you the truth he will never change so i have some decisions to make do i want to stay or realize that I'm worth more and leave
@Nikki83 (164)
• United States
17 Mar 07
I can understand where your coming from to cause my husband does the same thing come in from work and just throw his stuff anywhere
@eshaan (6192)
• India
17 Mar 07
Dear Nikki, It happens that at times you feel that you can do without your husband. Sometimes we feel that we are together just because of our children,but its all temporary anger and we think all this when something goes wrong. But if you really love your husband you will find that you really can't live without him. Happy journey of your married life. Let both the wheels go together hand in hand or else accident is possible. Good Luck.
@Nikki83 (164)
• United States
17 Mar 07
I thank you for your comment. Maybe it is just temporary anger. Who knows what it could really be but like you said if i really love my husband then I can't live without him then. I really do love him but things do need to change.
• Philippines
17 Mar 07
That's a normal reaction you have. You'll go along fine. Just tell your husband about how you feel the way things are going. He can do some adjustments from time to time. Good luck in your family life and may your children grow up loving and kind ones.
@Nikki83 (164)
• United States
17 Mar 07
A normal reaction I don't think so. My children will grow to be loving and kind individuals. It all depends on how you raise your children on how they will be in life
17 Mar 07
i am not a lady i am a married man with two children and my wife does all you have mention in your article i know it could be hard some times with the kid especially but have you ever ask him to give you a hand when he is at home with you.
@Nikki83 (164)
• United States
17 Mar 07
yes i have asked him sometimes he'll help but then complain about being tired when I'm just as tired as he is just differently from dealing with the chlidren.
@lafavorito (2960)
• Philippines
17 Mar 07
Sometimes yeah when I'm so mad at him. My husband is a computer freak, he loves everything that is associated with computers, games, softwarer, internet. There are times that I feel neglected because he's always palying. I just tell him that it bothers me to see him spend more time on the computer than playing with our son or talking with me. I've got no problem with him doing chores, he's actually the one that initiates us to start the chores (I'm the lazy one). It's eithe he watch our son while I fold laundry or I watch our son while he clean the milk bottles.
@Nikki83 (164)
• United States
17 Mar 07
does he pay attention in the bedroom? well then tease him with that and you'll have more attention
@sunnypub (2130)
• United States
17 Mar 07
I think that kind of thinking is more common than you would think. I have many times thought like that. I also love my husband dearly, and truly I don't want another man, but sometimes I sure think that I would just be better if it was just me and my daughter. Just today, my husband was telling me of his plans for this weekend and I said to him that I wish I had the freedom that he does to do whatever he wants whenever he wants. He didn't understand what I meant. I told him that if I want to do something I have to clear it with him so he can watch our daughter. I fell like I am a single mother and that really gets to me because I am not single. My husband will only do cleaning or anything around the house or having to deal with our daughter, if I ask him to do so. I am finding that this is a pretty normal thing.
@Nikki83 (164)
• United States
17 Mar 07
I feel the same way but come on now do you really think it's normal well it's not and I think that sometimes he should come home from work and your just as tried to from being with the kids all day. and asks you do you need a break from the kids. He'll watch them while you go out and enjoy yourself. And at least still clean. But that's just my point of view