10 court's funny situationers!!!

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First : "James, I cannot conceived of a meanor more cowardly act than yours of running away from your wife. Do you realize you are a deserter?" the judge asked. "But Judge, if you know that woman as I do, you would not call me a deserter-- I am a REFUGEE!!!1 ............................. Second situationer" "I didn't meanto push that woman over the cliff, your honor. It was an accident. From the back, she looked like my wife!" ........................... Third: It took two years for the court to decide the DIVORCE CASE. after signing the documents, the wife said to her husband: "I WARN YOU JOHN, IF EVER YOU SHALL FAIL TO PAY A SINGLE INSTALLMENT, I'LL REPOSSESS YOU!!!" .......... FOURTH: Outside the court, Judge: Never fear Michael, you have an upright lawyer to defend you." ACCUSSED: "It's not an upright lawyer I want, Judge, but the one who can lie a little." ....................... FIFTH: Judge: "According to your record, in the last three years, you have stolen two pairs of roller skates, four bicycles, a horse and a new motorcycle. What is your explanation?" Accused: "I don't care so much for automobiles!".......... SIXTH: A man was charged of stealing a TV set. JUDGE: "I find the accused innocent!" ACCUSED: "Thank you your Honor, Does that mean I can keep the TV SET?" ................ SEVENTH: A judge glared down from his bench at the prospective juror. "And why is it," he asked "that you don't want to serve on this jury?" "Well judge'" the man replied. "one look at that man convince me that he's guilty." "Quiet," the judge ordered. " that's not the defendant. That's the district attorney!"............. EIGHT: JUDGE: "How do you plead?" ACCUSED: "I plead guilty and I waive the hearing." JUDGE: "What do you mean waive the hearing?" ACCUSED: "I mean ___ I dont want to hear anything about it!" ................... NINTH: JUDGE: "Is it true that you and your wife had some words?" DEFENDANT: "We did. Your Honor, but they were all HERS!" TENTH: In a court trial a judge asked a woman her age. "Thirty Seven." she replied. "But Madam, you'd given that age in this court for the last three years," said the judge. "Yes," answered the woman. I'm not one of those who say one thing today and another thing tomorrow!" ...... I hope I made you your day btight and sunny for awhile. Have a nice day to all mylotters!!!