The terrible twos?
@kingfisher111 (28)
March 18, 2007 9:49am CST
My daughter celebrated her second birthday last week. Although generally she is totally adorable, she is showing some signs of the terrible twos, particularly throwing tantrums when she does not get her own way. I am trying to be strong and not give into her but does anyone have any tips that might help me to gain a more peaceful life with her?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@Tanya8 (1733)
• Canada
18 Mar 07
I think you're off to a great start by not giving in to them. I found that I only ever had to go through a tantrum over a particular issue once if I didn't give in(e.g. my 2 year olds refusing to hold my hand in a parking lot, wanting to play with something dangerous etc.).
It also helped me stay calm when I reminded myself that, at this age, they get completely overwhelmed by emotion. They're not trying to make life difficult; they just need help calming down.
My daughter was easy to calm; if I offered to hold her, she'd relax and be back to normal within a minute or two.
My son on the other hand, seemed to need some space for the emotions to wear off, and didn't want to be touched. As he got older (around 3), the tantrums were much less frequent, but I taught him how to take deep breaths to calm down.
I also think it's important to try to anticipate and circumstances where children are likely to be overtired or hungry, and do what you can to avoid them (for example not squeezing that last errand in, when it's close to lunch or nap time).
Finally I read that children will sometimes have a meltdown after what appears to have been a very pleasant day. They have a build up of feelings, especially if they've been out somewhere and have had to be on their best behavior, and will choose some ridiculously minor thing to get upset about. It's natural for parents to get frustrated or want to argue with a child who's screaming because his shirt is the wrong color or because he wanted to flush the toilet and his parent did it.
After I read this, I got better at getting a handle on my own irritation, and would just stay calm during such tantrums. They'd end way faster, if I just helped the kids calm down, instead of reacting or trying to reason with them.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
21 Jul 07
Well said friend. It's true that giving in to tantrums just makes them think that you can be bossed around thus eliminating your authority.
Anyways, here a joke I found somewhere.
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...
Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):
A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
Super glue is forever.
No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
It will, however, make cats dizzy.
Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Those who pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without boys do it because:
a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control
=)
@mamaof4toddlers (123)
• United States
19 Mar 07
Put her on a time out when she acts up or tell her that mommy doesn't answer to crying and screaming. Tell her that when she is ready to settle down and tell mommy what is the matter. That you will reply and when she throws them because she wants something and ou won't give them too her let her now that she can cry and scream all she wants but mommy said no. and make her go sit down her go to her room until she is done crying. I have a 3 year who just turned three and she has learned pretty much that I won't take her temper tantrums. Just stick in there she will learn. My daughter went from the terrible twos to the micheif threes.
claire
@kingfisher111 (28)
•
19 Mar 07
Very useful! I guess the most important thing is to be consistent! Thanks for your advice
@beautyqueen26 (16030)
• United States
9 Jul 07
You haven't seen anything yet! Just wait till she can fully express herself with words and the minor frustrations of a developing two year old will seem like child's play. Mine was fairly well behaved as a two year old, but she was a shrieker. Everytime I wouldn't give into something she wanted, she would shriek. Since we live so close to our neighbors, I had to put my foot down on that issue and let her know that was not called for. However, most days I would simply use hugs and soft words to convey my message to her. For instance, I would gather her into a big hug and sit next to her and tell her how sorry I was that I couldn't give her what she wanted. And, that I wish I could. After awhile, she would ask for some of the same things, and then quickly remind herself verbally, "Oh, I can't have that!" That's what she would say, and she was just three years old. A gentle, reassuring voice will get you so much further with a child this way than any Super Nanny strong arm tactics. Those tactics might be better used for a ten year old child. Toddlers and preschoolers will mirror back your behavior. If you yell, so will they. If you spank, they will learn to hit. At this tender toddler age, they need all the loving support and quiet reassurance from Mommy and Daddy that they can get. Little kids are so much smarter than people give them credit for. Best of luck with your little sweetheart. Mine made it through that stage and I am sure yours will too.
@snookumsnort (313)
• Philippines
26 Jun 07
I guess whichever way you choose to discipline your child (time-out, spanking, taking away privileges, etc.), consistency is the key. If it is wrong the first time, it should still be wrong the 2nd and the 3rd time. My daughter just turned 2 and started the terrible twos early at 14 months. I noticed they will try things again and again to test us. Be firm in the limits you set. I've noticed everytime I slip or give in, it takes longer the next time for her to control her anger or to listen to me. If your patience is wearing thin, you can always make sure she is safe in the room (i.e. she won't hurt herself) then leave the room for a few minutes to take a breather. I'm going through the same stage myself and boy is it TOUGH! Good luck to the both of us and hope this helps.
