A Mother-Daugther Relationship

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My mom and i were never close. Tho' i grew up with her, we were never like those mom-daughter relationship i see with my friends'. When i was a kid, my mom worked 24/7. Tho' we lived in the same house, we hardly saw each other. She would came late home from work while us (my big sis and big bro and i), were already sleeping. We would woke up early to go to school while she was still asleep. Even on Sunday's she would still go to work. And if it's a lucky day for us, we would go out together on a Sunday. I grew up with a nanny. I felt the mother's responsibilities with the nanny who took care of us. As for my father, after my baptismal (1yr old i guess) he left us to work on other country. He came back when i was 10. And after a month, they parted ways. My mom started a new family of her own. They had 2 children. My big sis got married and so is my big bro. Since i am still studying, i live with my mom's new family. Ever since she had her new family, she stopped working to be a full time housewife to focus on her children. How i wish she was a full time housewife back then, so she could watch us grow and took care of us like what our nanny had done to us. I envy my step-siblings that my mom has been a mom to them while us before, were left to a nanny. We had never been close and i wish, we were just like the other beautiful mom-daughter relationship who would go shopping together and exchange views on which shoes is a good pick and exchange beauty secrets. She never asked me how i've been doing at school; I've been a good student but it's never been recognized by her. She never even asked me if i have a problem that i would want to share with her; I ran to my friends whenever i have problems, i even drag my friends if i want to shop of if i want to have a haircut. She never asked me why my eyes were teary; i lock myself in my room to cry my heart out; my friends are my the ones comforting me and giving me strength to overcome my loneliness. She rarely buy me a nice wardrobe. I never asked her to buy me stuffs, but as a mom she should know what my needs are. She never care, at least that's what i feel. It hurts so bad that i am destined to experience these all. I feel bad that i feel bad every day. I am happy when i am not home. I am happy when i am with my friends. I am not sure how i feel when i am around her. I am happy that she's happy with her new family. I am happy that she's not getting sick and she's doing well on her biz. At least i am hoping that she would reach out to as a mother.