Learning to live with it.

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I have had depression since childhood, I was in and out of psychiatric hospitals from when I was fifteen and my last visit was when I was 19. I am now 26 married to a wonderful man who understands me thank god and have a beautiful four year old son. I still see a psychiatrist but my life is now one that I now cherish not one I wish would end. The depression and anxiety though still remains I don't know if it will ever go away, even when I am going really well, i always feel like it hovers over my shoulder, waiting for the best time to try and get me. When Im tired or just vunerable. I have learnt to think of it as a seperate part to me, and know that I do not have to believe the way it makes me feel or think. There are times when I still believe if I didn't have a wonderful husband or son that I love, that it would be easier not to be here, but then I think well life isn't meant to be easy, and I do enjoy my life. It is just sometimes it seems harder than others. I dont know what other people think about this but I would like to hear what people think. Depression is something very real and very hard to live with, it makes your options disappear and you no longer think the same way. Your life has a blackness that clouds everything, and even when you feel okay it is still haning around somewhere, but don't let it stop you, don't give up, don't let it win. Talk to someone.