Am I a bad bad person??????

@Bytemi (1553)
United States
March 20, 2007 8:19pm CST
Over the weekend I went out with a couple of friends to shop for bridesmaides gowns. We went into one of those stores, you know the snooty type. Well apparently we were not dressed appropriate, I was in sweats and a T-shirt and sneakers and my friends were at least in Jeans. When we went in I told the lady that we were look for Vamp (a dark red/purple color). She informed me that she didn't think that we could afford the cloths in her store. I walked out peacefully and we went shopping at Dave's Bridal. After spending about $5,000 at Davids Bridal, I went back to the other store handed her the receipt and asked her if we had the money to shop at her store and then walked out as she stared at me. Should I have held my temper better and just let it roll of my back or was what I did OK, I sort of feel bad now, people that judge me by my appearance irritate me, I would rather be comfortable than fashionable.
17 people like this
69 responses
• United States
21 Mar 07
Yeah for you ! You did nothing wrong except take someone with sterotypes on the mind and show them a thing or two. I too hate this type of person and as long as you didn't scream and yell like a child, I think more people should be like you. I find people like you to be awesome friends and acquaintances !!
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
21 Mar 07
No no screaming, no crying just matter of fact. I usually don't let people know that they got to me.
2 people like this
21 Mar 07
I had a similar experience recently in an "exclusive" store in my home city. I was dressed in nice jeans, boots, and a leather coat with a black turleneck, and carried a genuine designer bag, which is my typical saturday-lunch-with-a-girlfriend ensemble. I was looking at Burberry scarves and the sales woman approached me and treated me like I was going to steal from the store. I was excrciatingly polite, got her name and phoned the store manager who is a university friend. My intent was not to get the sales person in trouble, only to alert my friend that her staff were less than cordial to me. I felt she needed to know about that. My friend thanked me and two days later I got a gift from the store via courier. It was the very scraf I had been looking at.
2 people like this
@Aurone (4757)
• United States
21 Mar 07
As long as you didn't make a scene, I say hooray for you. I wore jeans when I went shopping for my wedding dress. The people at David's Bridal were really nice to me. But that kind of thing has happened to my mother at make-up counters and to me at collectible stores, where I have informed them that I owned most of the pieces they were displaying. So I say good for you. Sounds like that snooty lady needed to be brought down a notch anyways. I can definitely tell the difference in the type of service I receive places when I wear my work clothes and when I wear my casual clothes or Slacks vs Jeans. Its terrible that people treat others that way.
2 people like this
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
21 Mar 07
Oh no of course I didn't make a scene, I just wanted her to know that she should not judge a book by its cover. Just because I choose to dress a little frumpy when I am not at work does not mean that I do not have a career and can't afford the nicer things every once in while. That was my only point.
• United States
21 Mar 07
Making a scene doesn't really matter. If you want to make a scene that is your right. Regardless, you handled it so well. I don't know you but I would have loved to have seen the PRO IN ACTION!!! What a woman!!!!!
1 person likes this
@BunGirl (2639)
• United States
21 Mar 07
Personally, when she made the comment, I would have just told her that it wasn't really her business what I could afford. It's unfortunate that so many stores these days don't train their employees properly. It shouldn't matter how a person is dressed or what the clerk's opinion of them is, EVERY person who walks in should get good, friendly service. Even if that individual doesn't buy anything, word of mouth is priceless and you never know WHO someone might know. I used to manage a CD store, and any employee who couldn't treat ALL of the customers with respect didn't last long!
2 people like this
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
21 Mar 07
Like I said I feel very strongly about this particular subject. If you are in a customer service role, you have to pull all of you preconsuptions aside and treat everyone equally. No offense, if she was paying attention, I wear a watch that contains 387 diamond chips, that should have told her something. Just could not look past the sweats and jeans I guess.
1 person likes this
@decimus785 (1419)
• Aruba
21 Mar 07
I respect you,i would have done the same thing. Now she's the one who faled in her job,she would feel very stupid right now. Your not a bad person,your a person that make others see the reality.YOu taught her a good lesson,she will never judge a person by it appearance again.She was the bad person.
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
21 Mar 07
I don't think I taught her anything and I am willing to say that she will do the same thing again. People like that do not learn.
• Australia
21 Mar 07
What you did was fine, there are many ways to handle such situation. But you dealt with it in controlled way
2 people like this
• Philippines
21 Mar 07
You are not a bad person. I would do the same if I were you. and hey, it's so nice to be wearing clothes were comfortable at. keep it up!
2 people like this
@brckoba (795)
• United States
21 Mar 07
Right on!!*applauding* You, my friend, are awesome! I think that what you did was your right... No one can make you feel bad if you don't allow them. That woman had it coming. I'm sure now she will think twice before turning someone away just because of how they look.
2 people like this
• United States
21 Mar 07
not at all. good for you!!! this is great, what you did. if only more people like you did this, maybe those snooty people would calm down. it doesnt matter who the person is, they have NO right to judge us, especially when they dont even know us. i am so glad that you did that to her, people like her annoy me. i am a quiet person, and i only wish that i could have the guts to do something like that. i bet it felt good though. dont feel guilty, feel proud for speaking up for us quiet people!
2 people like this
@adela56 (183)
• Philippines
21 Mar 07
no you were never bad, you did great as a matter of fact. those sort of pople that judges 'the book by its cover' deserves that.
2 people like this
@tsgirl01 (900)
• United States
21 Mar 07
Good for YOU! You did the right thing...now I must ask...did you ask for the manager or owner? I would have and told them how his/her sales person treated me. I would have showed him/her the receipt and told them that I would have originally spent that money in their establishment if it weren't for the snooty salesperson. You were quite nice about the whole thing and I respect and admire that in you. Me, I guess I have a mean streak...I would have told her boss! Take care, this was a good discussion and I hope the wedding is wonderful and that the bride and groom have a long happy life together! Take care...
1 person likes this
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
22 Mar 07
No I didn't talk to the manager, I would feel bad if she got in trouble or was fired. I hope I made her feel guilty so she will think twice before doing something like that again.
@tsgirl01 (900)
• United States
22 Mar 07
Well, I think you did the right thing. But I get so mad at people who sterotype, thinking you don't have the ability to shop in certain places because of the way they preceive you. It was judging a book by it's cover and that was not nice. Take care...
• Bulgaria
21 Mar 07
I thik you did good. People always judge on the outside. You thought that lady a good lesson. I'm sure she'll remember this and next time you go there she will show you all the clothes. Don't hezitate next time to do the same if someone repeats her mistake.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Mar 07
If I were you I would never do her the pleasure of going back.
1 person likes this
@wooitsmolly (3613)
• United States
21 Mar 07
I would have argued with her from the beginning and simply inform her that I could, in fact, afford to shop at her store. Then I would try a lot of things on and buy nothing. That's just me, though.
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
21 Mar 07
I am a non-confirtational person so arguing with her would have made it worse for me. It happens a lot.
@ydnac22 (804)
• Philippines
21 Mar 07
you did it well gurl...:) im proud of you. i guess we have same attitude. I really hate person who underestimate others..cause of the way they dress up. They are sales lady so they are supposed to be very accomodating to thier customers to produce sales and not to discourage people to buy."they should not judge the book by its cover".. Yes we should teach them lessons sometime in order for them to learn!....:)
1 person likes this
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
21 Mar 07
I understand what you are saying, but honestly I don't think she learned anything. People like that just brush off stuff and say well she is the exception.
@rx4life (1932)
• United States
21 Mar 07
I believe that she was not very professional in her approach to you in the first place...what a rude thing to say..she could have done many other things to help determine what you were capable of paying...so she was in the wrong...and I don't think going back in to her was such a bad idea...people can't do better in this life if they don't know what they are doing wrong!!! You simply showed her the sales she lost for her store...I personally would have waited and called the store and reported her disposition to the owner/manager..I'm sure no matter how "snooty" they appear they would love to know that their help is running potential customers off!!! I know some fairly weatlthy people that wear sneakers and workout suits most of the time when they aren't doing charity work or representing in the public eye...fancy clothes do not indicate how financially flush someone may be!!! We all need to be aware of any judgements we might make due to anyone's appearance!!!!
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
21 Mar 07
OK No offense, why would I have been there if I could not afford it and even if I couldn't, did she think I would get up the register with the dresses and say, oh no, changed my mind or do you think you could pay for this for me. I just don't understand.
@avonrep1 (1862)
• United States
21 Mar 07
I do secret shopping some times. One of my shops was to go shopping at Best Buy for a high end electronics. I was required to look like maybe I couldn't afford it to see how I was treated. I went in in a pair of jeans with a hole in the knee and a t-shirt that had paint on it. In work clothes, figured it looked poor enough. It took 45 minutes for someone to help me, then they try to steer me to a cheaper system, till I mentioned my husband and I wanted something that would go really nice with our Sony Big Screen. We the assoicate heard that he attitude towards me changed right away and he was nicer and was more willing to help me. I never told him I was a secret shopper, because I wouldn't get paid. But I did tell him, I didn't like how he treated me and that I was going to look else where for the system. I told him he shouldn't judge people on what they have on, because he will lose sales, like this one. My daughter's grandfather made alot of money in real estate. If you saw how he dressed you would think his net worth was maybe 80K not the millions he was really worth. Good for you for standing up for you and your friends. Not everyone with money wants to flaunt it. I find people that flaunt their money to be mainly rude people.
1 person likes this
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
21 Mar 07
I would love to do secret shopping, with my plunt attitute I think it would be good for me to have an outlet. How did you get into it?
• Pakistan
29 Mar 07
Thats too bad she should not have said that and also you should not ave reacted like that,if we consider like teaching her a lesson your behaviour seems to be ok but overall it seems to be a bit rude ,don't mind thats ewhat I think ,I ay be wrong.
1 person likes this
@Connie1013 (1098)
• United States
22 Mar 07
I would have loved to see it. Reminds me of Pretty Woman. Sorry just the part of going back in. LOL Maybe it was Karma getting you to go to a better store.
1 person likes this
@vanities (11410)
• Davao, Philippines
22 Mar 07
well i dont know lol ..but if it happened to me i will show her my money and left instead of buying in that store..not the other way around...you msut hold your temper atleast so that you could think well and nicely..
@meguchan (181)
• Spain
21 Mar 07
You rocks! You have acted well, you're really awesome!
1 person likes this
@WyldPnut (74)
• United States
21 Mar 07
Good for you. Maybe now this person will think before she speaks. I am more inclined to keep money in my pocket then blow it all on clothes so if someone judges me for the way I am dressed they truly miss out. I wear jeans because I like them not because I don't have money. Do what you like and don't worry about what others think.