Hello friends I am in confusion, please help!

@saheli (79)
India
March 21, 2007 12:11am CST
I am a housewife with lots of spare time. I spent most of my time on internet. Here I came acroos a friend, we chat on net many times, now he wants to meet me personaly. I am in confusion now should I meet him or not. From my side atleast am not serious with him, it was just a time pass. I even don't know how he is feeling about me. I belong to that kind of social background where I can't afford a male friend. I am not able to take decision, how to avoid him. Please help.
5 people like this
57 responses
• India
21 Mar 07
hi as u said you are not serious n its just a time pass...so u can leave the matter since ur not much serious...n if u value ur fship n like to meet him..u can decide by the way he talks to you..as u said u have come from certain back ground where u cant afford a male friend..so avoid taking risks by meeting him..continue chatting if u n he likes...else leave it..
2 people like this
@g_aileen09 (1354)
• Philippines
21 Mar 07
I don't know anything about your culture, but for us here in our country, it is not proper for a married woman (or should also be imposed to married men) to entertain male friends, unless it is a mutual friend. It's true you may not be doing anything wrong, but still... the fact that your male friend wants to meet you personally may lead to other things. I suggest that you avoid him this early. Ignore him and devote more time in household chores than hanging up in th enet. If you say you're a housewife, there are more productive things to be done at home than entertainng male friends in the net. It takes a lot of willpower to do that, believe me... and i believe that you can. The fact that you have posted your problem here, you have already admitted your guilt. Stop it. If you can't avoid the internet, change your username and off you go surfing the web again...and be sure to never make the same mistake again. Why entertain male friends when there are more than enought female friends around? wake up... shake off your head and serve your husband a good breakfast. He deserves all your attention :)
@deehan (119)
• Pakistan
21 Mar 07
So simple dear. Just avoid him and delete his id from your msn or yahoo messenger. Just be a straight forward and tell him that you are not interested in him personally. If he accepts the reality then it is right and if he is willing to do something wrong then just take your elders in confidence and ............ him completely. If you really want a good cyber friend i refer you an ID ibrarhussain_a@hotmail.com, you will find him very friendly, sincere, not interested in personal meetings and very kind counselor
1 person likes this
@Penfencer (297)
• United States
21 Mar 07
If you're uncomfortable with the idea of meeting him, then it would be best to not meet him. Maybe you should talk with him more and find out his exact intentions. If you do decide to meet him, it would be a good idea to take along a friend, just in case. I'm curious. What sort of social background prevents you from having male friends? Care to explain?
• India
21 Mar 07
Dont you feel Saheli is guilty ??? She is the one who developed relationship with male friend and now worring about her family's social background. Wil that friend of her, forget her so easily ?? what do you think ?
• United States
21 Mar 07
Regardless of the online relationship, she does not OWE him anything. It is her choice whether or not to meet him, and he should be willing to accept that.
@egay679 (152)
• Philippines
21 Mar 07
you have said that you are a housewife so that means you are married. is this activity of yours on the internet acknowledged by your husband? does he know that you have been in constant communication with a chatmate? does he know that he is wanting to meet you? if so and if your husband is okay with that, then there is no problem but if your husband does not know anything, then i guess it would be inappropriate for you to meet this guy. i mean, having to meet someone you still do not know well without the knowledge and permission of your husband is just like cheating. let us face it, we as wives also should have the responsibility to maintain a good image and reputation because not only that we carry our name but also our husband. also, it seems that you are quite afraid to neglect this guy or you sound somewhat uncomfortable with the idea of meeting up with him. i suggest that if you are uncomfortable with it and with him, then tell him that.
• United States
21 Mar 07
Thats right... there is no harm in chatting or making friends on the net.. if your patner is aware of it... and in the first place if you were looking time pass and just casual friendship.. you should have made it clear to your chat friend about your situations...and kept the friendship to the chat room only. talk about this with your husband or tell your friend about your situation...If you can't do either, then just ignore ur chat friend.
@azpro11 (136)
• India
22 Mar 07
hi, I don't think so that you should go n meet him. coz you have lots of free time , you might feel lonely . i can understand your problem , coz even i feel lonely sometimes. i would suggest you that either you do something new or creative to pass your time but never make such realtions which can create problem for you.
@kclaret59 (587)
• Philippines
22 Mar 07
dear, if you really are not looking forward to seeing him, then just tell him that. it's not really good to stay nice to a person when you really are not taking him seriously. who knows, he might have fallen for you.
• Philippines
22 Mar 07
You just have to stop chatting with him and don't ever think of meeting him in person because this will put you in real danger. It's hard to trust people nowadays especially the ones you are too good to be true in what they say about themselves. Try to change your username or user id when chatting. Don't entertain your feelings about this person, remember you're married and you can do more better things on the internet than chatting with someone whom you don't really know. Instead of chatting with him why not spend all those time here in mylot. Time spent in mylot is time well spent.
@maean_19 (4660)
• Philippines
22 Mar 07
If u r sure sure of yourself that u r not serious with him and just a pass time, then why not meet him. It is actually a matter of knowing what you really feel about the guy and not what he feels about you. If he likes you and that's what you are worried off, well tell him the truth. It takes two to tango as they say. If u are not intimately serious with him and consider him as a friend, tell that to him. Nothing is a dlemma meeting a new friend or a chatmate when u put to your mind that u have your boundaries.
@wwhhing (60)
• Malaysia
22 Mar 07
What is the purpose to meet since you both can chat online! And i believe your net friend just newly know and i'm not encourage to meet a new net friend so soon. I think for a female safety, don't meet a net friend easily, unless you both has been well know pass few year. Otherwise that may be dangerous. That had a lot a bad news for meeting a new net friend.
@dfinster (3535)
• United States
22 Mar 07
This is pretty straightforward for me. I wouldn't meet a strange man from the internet in person. Whether we had been chatting or not I just wouldn't do it. As far as letting him know, just be honest and tell him you don't want the relationship to go any further. Delete his address from your computer and if he keeps trying to email you don't respond back to him. Delete him all together.
@jhartana (1085)
• Australia
21 Mar 07
If I were in your shoe I would avoid him. Prevention is better than to have regrets later. This is also to prevent the arguments you would have with your husband if he finds out that you meet a male friend. Now that you've married and you will need to tell him that you cannot meet him and tell him the truth that your husband might not like the idea if he finds out. Let him go by and don't remember him as it might hurt your feeling and your marriage.
@Kayleena (80)
• Canada
21 Mar 07
The best thing I could say is be honest. With yourself, and with him. If you aren't comfortable meeting him then don't. Plus, I think you should mostly try to find out what are his feelings for you. If he like you in the love sense, they be clear with him. Tell him if you are interested or not. It would be a lot better if you do so, since that way, you wouldn't lead him on a path when in fact you don't want to go there. If he just want's to be friends, than be honest and tel ihim you're not ready to meet yet. There's no point in doing something you're not comfortable with. Best of luck to you!
• United States
21 Mar 07
You're a housewife so you are married. You're talking to a guy online and you're thinking about meeting him. That alone is bad news and drama in the making. If you're contemplating on meeting this guy it sounds like you don't really love your husband. If you did, you'd only be with your husband and not making plans to see some other guy you don't even know.
• United States
21 Mar 07
A chat is one thing but to meet mean he wants more from you. unless you take some one with you I would not advise you to meet unless you want more. To avoid him just stop chatting unless you gave him your personal information be safe on the net it too many weirdo out there
@adicsen (32)
• India
21 Mar 07
It not just a matter.First U don't give any infor regarding 2 u.n also don't tell about this matter 2 ur hubby so by this another problem will not rise otherwise he will get doubt on u n will quarell with u in each n every matter. Tell that tht person[net] ur uanble 2 come n got job so there is no time 4 doing this also n cut all contacts tht ur having with him i.e phone no,id etc., 4 some days don't login 2 this.,1st keep ur mind freshly by tht u can solve easily than us.,ok bye sister
21 Mar 07
hiya ,how r u? i love the internet to, ive met of need worked out well, u should go 4 it x
@ToMatriX (94)
• Indonesia
21 Mar 07
have you told the truth to him about ur marital status? don't avoid, deal with Him(it)!
@jcgbrains (139)
• United States
21 Mar 07
tell him how it is, tell him that you enjoy the conversations you have had with him over the internet, that you have no urge or need to meet him, that in fact you can not and will not do so. Either he will take it or he will not, his loss.
@navtech (1776)
• India
21 Mar 07
Internet friends are internet friends. Do not entertain them personally. When you are not serious about him, avoid him personal meeting. Telling him frankly over internet.