Poor sister - please help!
By jhartana
@jhartana (1084)
Australia
March 21, 2007 8:39pm CST
My sister has been jobless since 1 1/2 years ago and she had trouble getting the job. She is now being paid by government for the life support. I told her that she will need to engage herself to look for job immediately otherwise the government would stop paying her at one day.
I always asked her whether she has look for new jobs and she said she have tried her best. Then I said her that she did not try her best because my younger brothers who stays with her reported to me that she always watching the DVDs everyday and frequently chatting to friends for long period. She has also even take the car (which my father pays for it) to go out with friends.
The worst part is she have not pay the amount she owing me right now. She borrowed off me when she did not have money and I lend it to her and she promised me that she would return the money when she got her new job but she never got the job. I always questioned seriously to her whether she is real serious of looking for new job. She kept saying she have tried her best but my brothers did not think so.
I think that she did not even try to look for job seriously. Why she have not realised of her poor life and if she wants to look for money then the new job is the way to go rather than to get paid from the government. She still sticks with her laziness and she always enjoy of not working while getting paid for it.
Now even the worst part is she did not even go to church where she used to. I told her if she don't go to church then the blessings and opportunities will not be given.
I need mature advices on how can I help her as she's also stubborn for not listening to me. Your suggestions are appreciated and would be useful for her. Thanks so much
2 people like this
4 responses
@joby_09 (498)
• Philippines
22 Mar 07
Know the movie "In her shoes" started by Cameron Diaz and Toni Collete? I think you have exactly the same situation. Cameron Diaz, who played the younger sister, always depend on the older one. The older sister has a very good and high paying job and she supports her younger sister. The older sister kept on pushing cameron to look for a job for she can't be like that for the rest of her life. But cameron can't find one because she doesn't read well. Until one day, they got themselves into an arguement and cameron went to her long lost grandmother. There, she lived with the senior citizens and started to be responsible for herself. She was hired as a nurse in a hospital and there she met an old dying man who eventually became her inspiration to keep on moving. At the end of the film, cameron was transformed into a responsible lady.
Why did i narrated this? Maybe you can use this strategy. Maybe, other than pushing your sister to find a job, why don't you help her discover herself more? I believe that when you've finally know your interests, it will be easier for you to look for a job because you'll give your best just to have it. If you apply for a job just for the sake of having one and not because it interests you, you will not be productive in the long run. Or worst, they will not give you the job. =)
hope it helps =)
@syain1972 (1011)
• Singapore
22 Mar 07
I think you need to sit down with her and ask her to list down her priorities in life. I am sure if she'd looked for a job proper, there should be something that is out there for her. Is she fussy? What's her educational level? She could go to a job search agency to find a match for her qualifications. If she's lacking in that area, why don't she upgrade her skills or take up new courses to improve herself? It all boils down to her perspective in life. I have a friend who is a graduate, who was unemployed for a while, did not mind working as a barista before securing a permanent job. He learned a lot of new things while at that job and eventually he got a full-time job applying what he learned from that job... So your sister neeeds to do something other than complaining... You can also push her into finding a job by highlighting all the jobs available daily in the papers and make sure she applies for those jobs. You must oversee this process to stop her laziness.... About that church going thing, asked her if she has any personal issues of not attending... If it's due to laziness, we can only advise but it's up to her to decide... Good Luck!!
@jhartana (1084)
• Australia
22 Mar 07
What can I say more if she still stick to her laziness, I've told her many times but she never listens. Although I got tired from it but I still keep trying to motivate her. It's up to her as you said but she will need to come to realization sooner that she couldn't be like this forever. Anyway thanks for your suggestion.
@AmbiePam (120999)
• United States
29 Mar 07
Is there someone around that she really listens to? Maybe they could talk some sense into her. She might be afraid to look because she is scared to fail, but she's not being responsible. At the very least, she could get a job as a telemarketer. They will hire anyone who can speak properly. Just pray for her and try not to lose patience. And I wouldn't lend her any more money because you are probably not going to get it back and she'll think she has a new gravy train.
@ralf_jay (213)
• Sweden
22 Mar 07
after hearing your sisters situation i felt bad as that looks to be very bad for your sister.but i wish her all the best for the rest of the future and hope she will get engaged and marry soon.all the best for your sister.
