My Daughter Runs to the Window!

what makes you think your efforts count for nothing? Children ritualize things to a point, and so, her running to wave to you may not be sadness for her at your parting, but her way of participating in what is a fact in her day- you coming and going, and coming back again. You are, I am sure, doing your best. I say that because you are sharing with us your concern about the quality of your relationship with her. Only a loving Dad would give it a thought. Even if your time with her is extremely limited, when you give her your attention, you are giving her what she needs. I imagine just knowing that when her Daddy is around, she is special to him makes her feel very good. Absence is wht children can point out when in fact its the lack of attention when they are with their parent that hurts. Hope I've been able to express this clearly to you.

Dont be sad. I guess you should have a quality time with her. A quality time is way much better than quantity...

I feel for you. This is the situation of a lot of families now adays. Even I face this problem everyday. What we do is, when we come back from office, we gather on our bed, myself, my hubby and the two kids. We share our day's story and give the kids time with us. We talk and joke and let the kids climb us and sit on our bodies and they have a great time. This is only for about 30-45 minutes. But still its very effective. One thing we get to know how the kids spend their day. on the other hand, we make them realize even though mom and dad have to go to work and stay away for better part of the day, still they have time to be with the kids. Try this. I wish you luck.

We learn so much from our children, just think how lucky you are to realize this now instead of later. You have time before its too late to spend quality time with your daughter. Enjoy!! Little ones are so special and they don't stay little for long, we can't turn back time.

Im an at home mother and i can tell you , my husband too works his butt off consitantly to support our family. And im sure he feels exactly what you feel. I feel that way whenever he leaves and she sits by the window or constantly opens the door to yell out "i love you daddy" or have a good day ill miss you daddy. My daughter goes to kindergarten from 11am - 4 pm. he works 2pm -soemtimes 3am and when he gets home hes not one to go right to sleep so he doesnt even get up until 10ish am. so he has an hour a day each week with her until weekends. and it just breaks my heart. like tonight my daughter was so sad someone was picking on her and she bawled " i just want my daddy i miss him so much i want him to make me all better" and it was heart breaking to me not only because she didnt want me but because i knew she wouldnt see daddy until really late tonight. if i could get her to dtay up that long. its heart breaking. My advice is to just spend as much time with her as you can when you can. Call from work if you have time just to say hello to HER and to let her know you love her. Good luck and god bless

Wow, you must be a wonderful daddy to really want to make a change and spend more time with your child. It's great that she accepts your leaving as something that has to happen, but i do see where you are coming from. Ifi had a child, i wouldn't want them thiking of me as the mommy that was onstantly gone. Look, you DO have to work. It's as simple as that. If you don't make a living, you won't be able to support her or your significant other (assuming you have one.) Maybe that significant other can start taking on some of your responsibilities like shopping while you are at work and that way you can spend more time with your family. Keep weekends open for family time. Make sure when you come home, you spend as much time with the family as possible. i can tell you really love your child, and that is beautful.

Time that you give to your little girl, to your family is the most precious gift you can give, time is worth a million dollars the only trouble is most people don't realize it until it is too late...

yeah i think you must before its too late..i really appreciate that you at least have noticed how a father figure is important too to a child..

Its funny, but our childrem remember the good times when they get older, not the times we leave them. When she stopped running to the window its because she has realized that no matter how often you leave, you will come back to her, so she no longer has to tell you goodbye all the time. That is a sign that she trusts you. andis indeed a good thing.

at least she will be able to remind herself you always were a good provider for your family unlike so many fathers !

The key thing is to make sure you do spend as much time as possible with your family, and make it quality time. Unless you are working 12 hours or more every day of the week, you should be able to find a balance to where your child does not feel depraved of your company and time. Draven the Respectful Atheist http://dravenwriter.blogspot.com

Don't let this make you feel too sad. I don't know if anyone else has pointed this out but this has become a "tradition" and kids love that sort of thing. I did read where someone had commented that this has become something that shows she trusts you will be back. You might also want to consider that this is how she shows you that she loves you and has a bond with you. At least one that is enough for her to wave at you in the window when you leave for work! This is a wonderful thing. Be proud that you have established a unique bond with a unique communication routine with her.

My kids used to do that with my husband. they don't anymore and now they are almost not giving hugs but when he comes into the door he gets bombarded I wouldn't worry about just like everyone here said she has probably relized that you come home from work everyday. So there is no need to worry that you won't be coming back.

I have gone through this with my two oldest and yes it is sad. What hurt me even more was coming home, I use to get the big running hug from my oldest which he stopped once our middle child was old enough to speak. Jacob (2nd born) use to always great me with a big "HI, Dad!" but that too has stopped since our thrid child was born. What's even worse is my oldest overheard me talking aboutr this with my wife and now I get the big FAKE running hug from him. Nothing like having the pity of your children.

I do fully understand what you feel.I am a single parent of 2 boys.and i feel hurt when my little son wave me when i left home for work.my mother is the one who is taking care of him monday to saturday.i work 8 hours a day and since i am earning some units in education majoring in english,that i usually go home late at night.every sunday,i spend the whole day with them if i dont have any overtime work.i see how happy my kids everytime i told him that i dont have work today.but sometimes,my little one,keep on asking me if i really need to leave for work everyday.i tell him that i need too for their needs.then,he start to wave to say bye to me!

Honestly, myself and my sister as small children always ran to the window to wave goodbye to our mom AND dad whenever they went somewhere. To us, it was just our way - no biggie, but it made us happy to do that. I don't think your efforts have counted for nothing. By running to the window to wave goodbye, your daughter is showing you she cares about you enough to do that. Cherish these moments and memories, because kids grow up and these little things they stop doing all too soon.

I'm happy for you. You have realised the fact of life, and the sacrifices that you might have to make. I would say, make them fast. You will want to spend some valuable time with your daughter now. I have seen friends who can never forgive themselves for missing the first few years of their kids life.

Oh, poor baby! Honestly, I have always held the view that it won't be too much for the society to bear an extra tax burden to keep young moms on a good salary while they stay at home to take care of their little ones until the last of them turns 18! What this implies is that only spinsters and "retired" mothers of over-18 children will form part of the working class. As crazy as this suggestion may sound, the society stands to gain highly from it by way of well tendered/behaved children, more disciplined society, less crimes, and so on like that.You will all agree with me that our children are no longer enjoying enough parental care owing to the rat race of earning a livelihood, which young mothers ought not participate in.

yes it's good if you spend some time with your family and it's good that atleast now you have realised about it .it's not too late you just get closer to your daughter from now onwards.

I remember doing the same thing when my Dad left for work, but he'd spend time with us on the weekends, he'd play games after work (even though we knew he was tired) & he used to read us a book before bed. I even used to get to the stage of every night when i knew he would be home soon, i'd hide behind the door & jump out at him when he got home - it was just something i did! It was fun & it always made him jump but smile too! Eventually, children realise that you have to work so you can buy them the things they need, they know you'll be home again & everything will be fine. Just make sure to see them to bed, hug them before you go to work, ALWAYS wave back to her little face at the window & stories before bed are always a good thing.