golfing funny

clubs for golf - These clubs will make you swear
@raydene (9871)
United States
March 23, 2007 11:41pm CST
man goes to confession, sits down and tells the priest, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.""What was your sin, my son?" the priest asked."Obscene language," the man replied."That's a terrible sin," the priest replied. "Do you swear often?""No," answered the man, "but do you know the local golf course?""Indeed I do," said the priest."I play there often. When I was on the tee at the fourth hole, the long par three, I hit one of the best drives of my life. It must have gone 220 yards on the fly, straight down the middle, took one bounce, and then hit a sprinkler head and bounced off into the bush.""I'm not surprised that you swore," said the priest, "If that had happened to me...""No, I didn't swear then. The shot I had hit was a great one and the bounce was just the luck of the game. When I checked the position of my ball, I realized that I still had a chance of making par. The ball was on a hardpan lie, and there was a small gap through the trees for me to have a shot at the green. I really should have taken the safe option and just played out sideways to the fairway, but I had hit such a great drive that my confidence was high."The man continued, "I was still about 200 yards from the green, so I took a five wood from the bag, positioned the ball back in my stance to keep it low and hopefully get under the trees, told myself to forget about all the hazards and just imagine the ball on the green, and played the shot. Even using the wood, I nipped the ball perfectly off the hard lie, the ball kept low as I planned, and flew straight as a die toward the green, took one bounce onto the green, hit the flagstick and bounced off sideways into that deep pot bunker to the right of the green.""My son, my son," said the priest; "I'm ready to forgive you already. That would have made a saint swear.""No father," said the man, "I didn't swear then. I realized that I had just played two perfect shots and only bad luck had stopped me from getting the result I deserved. When I saw my ball, I thought that all my hopes of making par had disappeared. It was lying right against the face of a five-foot deep bunker with very little green to work with, and I really should have gone out sideways, but after the two good shots, I was feeling confident. I took my sand iron out, opened the clubface fully, aimed the ball about six feet left of the pin and played the shot. The ball popped almost straight up in the air, landed on the green, and the spin on the ball dragged it back to four inches from the pin.""F#?!ing hell!" said the priest, "Don't tell me you missed a four-inch putt!"
2 people like this
7 responses
• India
24 Mar 07
Ha ha lol ill enjoyed this joke. i also have a joke. WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there, she went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid. And, yes, Linda is a blonde.
@raydene (9871)
• United States
24 Mar 07
teehee hehe And I thought I had blond moments! Thanks R
@mummymo (23706)
24 Mar 07
Hee hee hee - really didn't expect that ending! I hate golf - waste of a good walk! xxx
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23706)
24 Mar 07
its men who love it most - don't even try to understand you'll end up in the loony bin!
1 person likes this
@raydene (9871)
• United States
25 Mar 07
Oh You thought I was an outpatient?lol
1 person likes this
@raydene (9871)
• United States
24 Mar 07
I don't get it.............You strike the little ball....You chase after the ball............you find the ball...............Now you got the ball but that doesn't make you happy so you hit the damn thing again..........then you chase the little balllllll
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Mar 07
Great one. Hhehehe. I needed to laugh today. I have rated you another + for your posting. Thanks a bunch dear.
1 person likes this
• India
27 Mar 07
A QUICK RIDDLE Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $100 on the ground. Who gets it? Nobody. The first four don't exist and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper.
1 person likes this
@aprilgrl (4460)
• United States
24 Mar 07
LOL..this is a good ne I don't goldf but my hubby does..lol
1 person likes this
@raydene (9871)
• United States
27 Mar 07
I appreciate your reply Thanks
• United States
24 Mar 07
lol! i actualy enjoyed this one, and I actually read the whole thing! =P I was waiting to see what mad him swear! lol.
1 person likes this
@raydene (9871)
• United States
24 Mar 07
I don't golf.I think if I did it would be funnier to me.
• United States
24 Mar 07
I dont golf either. I think it would be really boring lol. but I can still understand the humor in this one =P
• United States
24 Mar 07
lol
1 person likes this