Parents who have no time for their children

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OK here is the deal my Husband has 3 daughters with his ex wife they are ages 14 13 12 we have had lots of problems with the older daughter constantly getting in trouble with school and the law it has been a big mess. Her mother lets her do whatever she pleases whenever she wants. The oldest daughter also takes care of all 5 of her younger siblings on a regular basis while her mom is at work and or out having fun with one of her many boyfriends. and last night i looked at her (oldest daughters) myspace profile and saw a picture of her smoking a joint and well her dad and i was irate. How can her mom be completely oblivious to this? she lives with her and yet she has no clue what is going on with her own children we live 100 miles away and yet we know more about what is going on with them than she does. We have talked to the kids about living with us but they say they dont want to leave there mom and other siblings. DHHS has been involved with them but the kids dont tell them anything because there mom tells them to keep there mouth shut or else they will take them away from her and that they wont let them live with there dad so they are afraid where as the older one dont want to live with us because there she gets to act like an adult and do as she wishes any advice or oppinions on this please help we are so freaking confused and helpless with this