Which one of us is the jerk?
By hcromer
@hcromer (2710)
United States
March 24, 2007 3:41pm CST
Okay, as some of you know I'm doing the MS Walk in April. I sent a message out to everyone on my web of trust from Epinions, and was surprised when I got an e-mail back from jdhauer who was extremely mad at me for sending her an e-mail about donating for the MS Walk. If you got an e-mail from me about it were you/would you pissed off about it? I'm not offended if anyone deleted it, but she wrote me a very long e-mail about how much of a jerk I am for trying to solicit Epinions members. I'd like to publicly apologize to anyone that I offended, I didn't realize that a charity would piss someone off so much.
She told me to remove her from my list, it just happens to be that my "list" is my trusted list so I happily moved her to my block list. Am I a jerk for asking and for blocking or is she a jerk for overreacting for a request for charity?
9 people like this
11 responses
@princeworthy (1909)
• United States
24 Mar 07
I think she is the jerk! I think that she overreacted to your request. It's not like she was forced to give money. Like you said, she could've just deleted the message. I wouldn't feel bad because of one idiot hon!
@romel_ece (1290)
• Philippines
26 Mar 07
Every one is entitled for her own opinion.On my side, I don't mind if you'll sent me any link for invitation.In fact I would be grateful for giving me an opportunity to expand my earnings.However if I'm invited for a scam networking or whatsoever then I would definitely get mad to that person sending me.In your case, I think she has just overreacting for the request.She could just politely declined it in the first without being offended the both of you.
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
24 Mar 07
Wow-- I think she is a jerk for acting this way. I get alot of e-mails from people asking me to sponsor this or sponsor that- I may not be able to do them all- But if I can't or don't agree with them sending me anything on it, I just delete it. I dont go all ape Sh!t and send rude e-mails back.. I would have removed her and blocked her also. Even though we only communicate by computer-- People need to have a little class!
2 people like this
@lisado (1227)
• United States
30 Mar 07
I'm getting to this late but I can't believe she got mad at you over that! I was looking for ways to help you get more hits and hopefully donations to the link and someone went and complained?!? If they don't wanna do it then delete the email! It's not hard! If you were making fun of people with MS I'd have a problem but what you are doing is a good thing! Just offer if you can, but if not that's okay. Good grief!
1 person likes this
@joanana (770)
• United States
24 Mar 07
I'd have to say that the person's response was a bit over the top. Granted, your email could have been viewed as spammish and soliciting but in that instance I think just hitting the delete button was the ideal option rather than a rant.
@beckish (641)
• United States
27 Mar 07
I have her in my tracking, but I checked and she hasn't read any of my reviews thus far this year so I don't have any recent experience with her. There are a lot of really wonderful people on the site though... occasional attacks will happen I suppose. I had one person tell me to "get a life" because I rated their older reviews. At any rate I hope you are having a good day and you can send those kinds of emails to me anytime. :-)
1 person likes this
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
26 Mar 07
I don't think you are being a jerk at all, she just overreated a bit. I know I wouldn't be offended, I would just say to myself "yes" or "no" and move on.
I had a coworker once who was nutso. She bought Avon from another coworker ALL THE TIME! Yet one day someone asked us if we wanted to buy a cake from her, and this nutso ran to the boss screaming that this was solicitation and should not be allowed.
You really never know what will offend a person though! What seems perfectly acceptable to you may seem like a mean thing to someone else. I don't think you were being a jerk at all and really can't see why anyone would be so mad about that. I can see being slightly annoyed, but not actually angry or calling you a jerk for sending it.
Just my two cents :)
1 person likes this
@Bee1955 (3882)
• United States
25 Mar 07
She's a jerk. I offered an online job that I found to be a very good opportunity to someone online in Yahooanswers and got slammed by some people for giving the website to her. I mean the question was hers and I gave an answer. Yet not only did I get rude repliees I was reported for SPAMMING (whichy was decided by Yahoo I wasnt)! Some people think they rule the world.
1 person likes this
@bkittybaby (87)
• United States
25 Mar 07
I agree with everyone else. There was no reason for her to go nuts, she should have simply deleted it. If people get all huffy about someone asking them to support a good cause, how are we ever going to raise money for much needed research? Blocking her was a great idea, and don't let her pissy attitude ruin your helping a good cause!
1 person likes this
@unusualsuspect (2602)
• United States
30 Mar 07
I think jerk is too strong a word, but you were definitely in the wrong for sending out the email to everyone on a list. It doesn't have to be illegal stuff to be spam. You should limit such appeals to people who you think might be interested, and that means you know them better than just having them on your epinions trusted list. That list doesn't mean a thing in terms of really knowing anybody.
In addition, you are also at fault for identifying the person on another forum. That is considered the height of rudeness. She did overreact; she could have just sent you a short note saying that sh didn't appreciate being spammed, but considering how many people think that their "friends" lists are automatic permission to send out all kinds of stuff, I can certainly understand her irritation.
