Did any of your children ever wanted to change their name?

@arkaf61 (10881)
Canada
March 24, 2007 11:06pm CST
I am puzzled. I know we can't please everyone and in my time I knew a few people that weren't too happy with their names. I never knew anyone that actually changed their name because they didn't like it. Naming our kids is kind of complicated, we try to think of a name that they will like in the future, but who has a crystal ball? The name you think is so nice, can turn out to be something they hate. Some of us have one or more names we've been thinking about for years, some will just think of one when they get pregnant, but the main point is that the baby can't just turn to you and say: " I hate that name!!!!" The most you can hope is that they will like it, or maybe the stubborn child will change her mind at some point, or at least accept the name that was given to her. Well, there was a name in my mind ever since I was a kid myself. I read this story about a princess called Katya and I feel in love with the name. In my dreams I would have a little girl and would name her Katya. Never mind that back home at that time I wasn't able to name a child by that name since K and Y were used only for foreign words. I wouldn't even contemplate the accepted version of Catia, because for me wasn't the same thing. At that time Katya would be a name that most girls would love. A bit out of the ordinary, with a foreign hint, not too long, not too old.... When I came to Canada I was very excited since I would be able to use Katya without a problem when I had a baby girl. I thought it was pretty original, since there aren't that many Katyas compared to other names and I thought my daughter would love it. Well, she doesn't. Or she did until she hit 13. At that time, for some reason, she started telling me how she didn't like her name at all.From 13 to 16 she told us she preferred to be called Katt and that as soon as she could she would change her name. Now she is back home with my mom and - go figure - decided that she will not use the K or the y at all - although it's allowed there now and even if it wasn't she could because she wasn't born there.She signs everything with Catia. But I still am not sure if that's the name she wants or not. All I know is that each time we talk about it, she is stronger in her resolve to change her name. It breaks my heart. I don't think I gave my daughter any strange "impossible to say " name. I don't even think it's any awkward name or a name that will give to many chances for other kids to make a joke or anything....and although I was prepared for a phase where she didn't like it too much, I never thought she would dismiss it so completely that she would actually change it. Still she says she will, as soon as she turns 18. DO you know anyone who changed their names because they didn't like it? Did any of your children decided to change their names?
6 people like this
23 responses
@filmbuff (2909)
• United States
25 Mar 07
I've only met a handful of people who have changed their names, and usually it is their last name, not the first. Although lots of kids go through phases where they don't like their, for some it is too plain or common, for others as it sounds in your case it is because it is too different to where they feel like they don't blend in with everyone else. Take heart that she may indeed change her mind as she gets older, but many people have nick names. So if she wants to be called something else, by all means call her that. You may want to point out that having a unique name has benefits for her. Her name will stand out on resume's because it is different, and because it is unusual people may actually remember it better. Plus it is a great ice breaker. Hope things work out for you but what was it that Shakespeare said...a rose by any other name... :)
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
25 Mar 07
yes, Shakespeare was right about that one LOL We usually call her katt, which is the nickname that she likes anyways. I agree with you that a bit of originality is good, and hers is not that strange if we think about, there are zillions of kates, Kathies, Kathleens..... I do hope she changes her mind, she is usually very impulsive and she might even regret changing her name later.
2 people like this
• Canada
25 Mar 07
I wrote a story about a little girl named Katya, but I spelled it the Danish way Katja. The story was based on my mother's move from Denmark to Canada. Katya is a Russian nickname (can be used as a full name) for Ekaterina. Just tonight I was looking for a gift for my niece Alexis, and found the following book. The heroine is a little girl named Katya. http://www.russian-toys.com/manedoha.html As for name change, it wasn't my first name (Leah) that I objected to, but my surname of Allan. I didn't like that women went from fathers to husbands, also my Dad's family wasn't treating me with proper respect, and they were really putting my mother down after the divorce. I took Mom's name of Christensen, and kept Allan as a middle name, thus making me Leah Mary Allan Christensen. When I get married, I'm going to keep my name just as it is. I also wanted my last name to be more Danish. I was born in Canada, and I don't have a Danish accent. I wanted something to reflect that I am DANISH as well as Canadian. People already know I'm Canadian because, as I said, I have no accent. I thought by signing L Christensen on everything, it would reflect my Danish heritage, I'd have a name of a family who respected and supported me, AND I'd dump the father's name tradition. I know that's my Morfar's name (Morfar is Danish for Mom's Dad) but any name is someone's father's name. The point is, I had the name my MOTHER was born with!! Ironic thing is that my sister got married and kept Allan, and I stayed single (so far) and changed my name. LOL But look at my name, my MyLot name (danishcanadian) and my avatar (flags) and you'll know what's truly important to me. Where did you live before you came to Canada?
2 people like this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
25 Mar 07
I am Portuguese. Katt was born here in Canada. I Understand your interest in keeping a Danish link in your name. And reading your reasons it makes even more sense. My daughter's name might not be Portuguese but her surnames are, so I thought it would be ok for her. I bet that if I had given her a name that was completely Portuguese she would probably objecting to it too LOL And to be honest I don't even think she knows why she doesn't like her name, at least she hasn't been able to explain that to me yet. I think it wouldn't bother me so much if she wanted to change her surname. They are hers just because she is part of our family but her first name was a gift from me to her. I guess it was like a Christmas fruitcake, the gift not always loved hehe
1 person likes this
• Canada
25 Mar 07
That makes sense to me, and I thought of it when I changed my name from Allan to Christensen. Again, I kept Allan as a middle name, so it was there, just not in a traditional location. Also, the name that I WANTED was also from the family, from a part of the family that my name didn't represent at that time, so I think it definitely made sense. Thanks for your support.
1 person likes this
@towongfoo27 (2989)
• United States
25 Mar 07
I think Katya is a beautiful, an unique, and a stately name for a girl to have. The name gives a sense of power simply because it is different. Your daughter should be proud of her name! Speaking from my own experience, your daughter may not look at her name the same way you do. I know because I am so tired of April and all the remarks that come with it. I don't know too many April's but I wish my name was less public, because everyone knows the month of April. Similarly, I like Katya for the reason it is less known, too. I named my son Devon because it is different and not too common, unlike his mother's "monthly" name. I also like Devon because it is a unisex name. Some names in my family are Patrick Wayne, Jason Micheal, Janelle Lee, Christina Marie, and Debra Ann. I am April Renee. I say give your daughter time, and she will come around.
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
25 Mar 07
Yes, apart from the fact that I feel in love with her name as a child, I also thought that it would be a name that she would like because it was not a name that 50 other girls at her school would have - and I thought she would like that - but at the same time it wouldn't be a name nobody ever heard of. THe thing is I did think about it, it's not like I just gave her any first name that came to my mind at the moment. Funny, reading the names in your family it reminds me that before using Katya Louise, I also thought about Katya Lee, I liked the way both names go together. But I guess she wouldn't like that one either ... I wonder if I'm taking it too personally. In reality it is making me feel sad, because I feel that the reason she wants to change it is because I gave her that name. Had it been, I don't know a friend, or someone else, she probably wouldn't care much. Or at least that's how I'm feeling.
• India
25 Mar 07
Ya, I know one child whose name is "Het" (which means love in my language) but in britain they are pronouncing his name as "Hate" (totally opposite). and believe me that child is not ready to go to school. in such cases child do want to change his/her name
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
25 Mar 07
Yes I can understand it in that situation although I would probably just make sure that I would keep correcting people that pronounced it wrong until they got it LOL I think it's a pretty name and maybe I wouldn't want to change it, or maybe I would just add another name to it, so I could still be called Het by my friends. But it's an option that would make sense in a case like that. In my daughter's case there really isn't much of a problem with pronunciation or having a different meaning. That's why it upsets me a bit.
@scrawl (374)
• India
25 Mar 07
Yes there has been a lot of instances, when people change their names.. asians change it or anglisize it to make it easier to pronounce while studying or livin in the west.. it gives them a sense of acceptance.. Then there are cases of name-changing in line with astrological figurines... numerological acceptance... and the rest.. Many... but really what is in a name.. Would anyone really bother if Carmen Electra was known as Champa Ekaparana..... Perhaps it would only raise her market value standings ... the name being so ethnic ... Basically, as long as you are a celebrity, you can pull anything off... but many would consider it ridiculous if you are an ordinary citizen.... So arkaf.... would you like to be known as focker... pun intended !
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
25 Mar 07
:) I know that many people change their names for specific reasons and I see it happen with asian names in my school a lot. Often the students have their asian name and also an anglicized name which does help teachers and other kids. Sometimes they do change it, sometimes they just ask to be called by a specific name. And yes, in the entertainment world there are lots of name changes, although I'm not sure all of them are official changes but more names just for the public. Regardless, I still feel a bit hurt that my daughter wants to change her name - it's nothing offensive, or really bad. I wouldn't mind if she - as she did before - wanted to be called by a nickname. But officially changing it? It bother me a bit I confess:)
@franxexces (1096)
• Philippines
25 Mar 07
I knew a lot of people who like to change their names since people make fun of it or it sounds ugly. For me katya is fine but in my country that's a name of a bold star so I guess your daughter wouldn't like it if she's living in my country. Why does she hate the name katya? My advice for parents is to give a first name and a second name to their child so if he or she doesn't like his or her first name then he/she can use his or her second name and vice versa. In schools teachers would ask where our names came from and if given a chance what name would you like to have. When I was asked that I did answer another name but just similar to my name. My name is dawn frances and I'd like to change it to francheska. It's not that I don't like my name but if given a chance I would change it.
2 people like this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
25 Mar 07
Well I understand what you mean, and I like the way you compromised with your name. It is very common that kids at school ask to be called another name that is usually similar to their own, but more to their taste. The reason my daughter doesn't like her name, I'm not really sure. She used to love it when she was younger and she always told the story of princess Katya when people asked her about her name. She was born in Canada and our background is Portuguese so I don't think that the star name would affect her much.
• United States
25 Mar 07
I went through this when I was younger. I wanted to change my name to Courtney. I even had it put on my high school class ring. You know what? It is twelve years later and i still have the same name, I never changed it. I am still not all that happy with my name even though people tell me all the time that it is beautiful. I just don't want to go through all the trouble of changing it. If I did I don't think I would remember to answer to my new name :)
2 people like this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
25 Mar 07
LOL I can just see my daughter changing her name and then forgetting to answer to her new name hehehe And there are certain names that I would probably not feel to happy about it if they were mine. But most names can used with a nickname or some other solution that is not just changing the name officially. Changing it is such a drastic thing. I would think very seriously before I would even contemplate that option. I mean, how important it was to me, how would it affect the people that gave me the name, what difference would it really make... I don't know, maybe in the end she won't do it:)
• Canada
25 Mar 07
No never changed name till date.I don't think it is important to change name once given, yeah people do change names but what is written in faith is written no one can change it for ever.
2 people like this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
25 Mar 07
I never thought about changing my name either. I have two given names and I like one more than the other, but even if I didn't really like either one, I don't think I would change it. It's the names my parents gave me.
@sikhan (30)
• Bangladesh
25 Mar 07
Ohh yes i have face above problem. It means my kid want to change her name. I am from Bangladesh. Its Muslim Country. As usual my kid's mentality also muslim. In this regard she asked me what is the Arabic meaning of my name. In fact there is no arabic meaning of her name. I have searched and asked different peoples of Arabic meaning of her name but I could not find. Now she always tell me please change my name.And she decided within this year she will must change her name.
2 people like this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
25 Mar 07
Well I can see that her daughter has a reason for wanting to change her name, I guess it is important for her to have a name that has a meaning in arabic. How do you feel about that? Do you support her decision to change her name? Does it make you feel a bit sad that she doesn't want to keep the name you gave her?
• Canada
25 Mar 07
I think I would be heartbroken if one of my children decided to change their name as it was something I took great pleasure in being able to do and took me the whole nine months trying to pick the perfect name . Each name to me symbolizes a time in my life and also for someone that meant something dear to me as their middle names were picked because of someone we held dear in our lives . So far my children love the names we picked for them or are too young to be able to say anything yet . My children each have their given name with two middle names and then their last name . I live in Canada and can't imagine the area I lived in being able to dictate which letters were used to spell a name or how they came about their name . I do know of two people that changed their names though because they didn't care for their name but they changed it to their middle name as they liked that one better .
2 people like this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
25 Mar 07
She does have a given name a middle name and the last name. But she doesn't like the middle name either grrr :) As for the letters, at that time they didn't allow naming children with K or Y, or W because although those letters were recognized as part of our alphabet, they were used only for foreign words, the Portuguese versions used the C for K, I for Y and V for W. Nowadays that restriction doesn't exist anymore. Katt's name is also very important to me, and I gave it much thought, it's not that I just turned around and came up with it. I always hoped that she would appreciate it even if she didn't like it too much. Oh well, there's still a bit over a year before she turns 18, she might change her mind before that :)
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Mar 07
I wanted to change my name so bad growing up. I hated it, kids made fun of me all the time. My first and last name rhymed. I got married 2 months after I turned 18, partly because I wanted a name change so bad. But even after almost 20 years, the kids I grew up with still can not call me by just my first name. The ALWAYS put my first name and maiden name together. So as a child I can understand wanting to change your name but as a mother, I also understand not wanting my child to change their name. I picked out my children's name with love. I guess if it were me, I would try to explain why I named her that and what the name meant to me. Maybe if she understands why you named her that it will help her decide to keep the beautiful name into adulthood.
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@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
25 Mar 07
The thing is that she knows it. Ever since she was a little one I told her why and how much I loved the name. She used to love the story too. And all of us , including her friends and the rest of the family , call her katt which was her nickname choice. Which is one more reason for her to be happy about it :) We'll have to wait and see, but as I said earlier my main concern is that because she is so impulsive, she might change it before she matures more and realizes that it's not such a bad name after all.
• United States
25 Mar 07
Yes, just because they turn 18 does not make then mature enough to make life changing decission. That was my problem, why i got married so young.. boy do I feel stupid now. Hopefully she will wait and make sure it is truely what she wants to do. And if she does the best thing you can do is let her know how disappointed you are but that you still love her no matter what he name is.
1 person likes this
@xParanoiax (6997)
• United States
31 Mar 07
I'm one of tose kids who doesn't like her name. But I thought about alot first before telling Mom I preferred a shortened version of my name -- or my nickname, which is basically my initials. I don't like my name because it means "sheep". In a different language it means lamb -- which my best friend likes, because it suggests a cute little creature -- she says fits me. Plus the act it's not very original, even with the different spelling than others with my name, it was pronounced the same. And as I've grown and become more of my own person..I've disliked being unoriginal. Being a writer "Unoriginal" is almost an insult to me..and it kinda hurts to think of myself that way. Not to mention I'm kinda headstrong and a bit stubborn so I dislike also thinking of myself as a sheep..a follower of everyone else. I don't know. I don't think I'll ever change it though..Mom and I already don't get along over the dispute, even if I shorten it a tiny bit or prefer my initials. "I don't know this person, she doesn't have my daughter's name." It's just..bleh lol. I don't hate my name..it's just another label for me after all. I've already quite a collection of those, so what's one more? Lol. I can understand feeling a little sad 'cause your child doesn't like their name..in a way I know how ye feel about the name-picking process..since I go through it on a daily basis with characters I write. It'd suck if my character could get up out of the words and tell me they hated their name which I searched so long for lol. I wish I knew why your daughter hates her name, Katya sounds like a beautiful name. And I've love my nickname to be "Kat" myself. I've always had a thing for felines..but you know, we all don't get to pick. Alot of people are quite happy with their names..but some of us just don't care for them..for various reasons or sometimes for no reason at all.
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
31 Mar 07
You know, I can understand that people sometimes dislike their names, I just wasn't expecting that to happen to my daughter .. do we ever ? LOL I tried to find a name that was a bit more original, specially according to the names that were fashionable when she was born and something that would allow her a few choices of nicknames. And of course because I did put some thought on this, it is a bit sad that she doesn't seem to appreciate my efforts. Specially because she can't really find a reason why she doesn't like = then again people often don't have a reason for everything :) She loves Katt so I thought it would be enough. Oh well.....
@gabs8513 (48708)
• United Kingdom
27 Mar 07
Lol yes my Daughter keeps saying that if she could she would change her Name lol. But I think most Children want to I know I did want to change mine and even now sometimes, but I have been called by name for so many years so I don't think I would suit a new one lol.
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
28 Mar 07
Hehe, I kind of enjoy my name, but I also remember that there was a time where it wasn't my favorite in the whole world either. THe good thing about it was that I do have two first names so even during the I don't like this name phase I resorted to the second one :) It didn't work with everyone but it worked enough to allow me to pass the phase without wanting to change my name. With a little bit of luck she will not do it, but all I can do is wait and see .
• United States
26 Mar 07
Several people in my family have changed their names (aunts and uncles). Seriously, what kind of mom names her kid Adam Adams and expects him not to change it when he's older? Weird names aside, I think a lot of kids go through phases of not liking their given name and wanting to change it to something they think is prettier or more masculine/feminine or that they won't get teased for, or something they just feel fits their personality better. I don't think it is something you should be offended at, it is just her exploring who she is. She may change her mind when she is an adult, she may not. Besides, like you said, it's not like you can predict what name a person will want. Maybe she wants a name that is less out of the ordinary, or is using a more common spelling because she's tired of people mis-spelling it.
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@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
26 Mar 07
I understand and often question myself if I am over reacting. Still.... It saddens me a bit
• United States
26 Mar 07
I wanted to change my name quite a bit. Just the spelling. I'm Alison. Everyone I meet decides that I have 2 l's. Or y's. Then again, I guess it makes me unique
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@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
26 Mar 07
Yes, the uniqueness of a name is something that can actually be positive at times:)
@cher913 (25855)
• Canada
26 Mar 07
I have changed my name (not legally) just shortened my name to Cher from Cheryl, but only use Cher as my writing name cause it is easier to sign...
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@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
26 Mar 07
Well, that is completely understandable and I"m sure easy to accept. We dont' mind that she prefers to be called Katt at all.
@collstarx (1177)
• Indonesia
25 Mar 07
Well I hope my children not want to change their name because I choose name for my children is the best.
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
26 Mar 07
I know how you feel. I feel exactly the same, but we can't always control these things huh? Basically all I can do is talk to her, and wait...
@NatureBoy (493)
• Singapore
25 Mar 07
I myself actually wanted to change my name. After a visit to a chinese fortune teller who said that the 5 elements in my name were not balanced for my life. It worked well for the first 20 years or so, but its not heavy enough now. Till now still contemplating.
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@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
26 Mar 07
Well, I can see your reason. I guess if my daughter gave me a reason other than that she doesn't like it, maybe it would be easier to understand.
@mannu123 (144)
• India
25 Mar 07
I personally know a person who has changed his name when he was above 18. He is one of my friends brother. I myself think its not a very good thing to do. i will surely feel hurt if my kid is doing the same. We name a kid after lots of thinking. At times we also name or kids with the names of our parents , grandmas and so on.
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
26 Mar 07
Yes, I know a lot of people that name their children after a loved family member too. I don't know. It's our gift to them, and having it thrown back at our face as unimportant is a bit sad.
• United States
25 Mar 07
i knew a family with 5 kids-every single one of them changed their name after 18.none of them liked their birth names.2 of them changed their last name also.
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@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
26 Mar 07
Wow, crossing my fingers, hoping that won't happen with my daughter :)