Who Needs Cricket Match Fixing!!
March 25, 2007 3:56am CST
Indians are honest people. A bookie calls Hansie Cronje before the match between India and SouthAfrica. Cell phone rings. Hansie picks up. Cronje : hello Bookie : I am ....... Here. Cronje : yes tell me Bookie : how is the pitch Cronje : ya dry and good for batting Bookie : I want u to loose today's match Cronje : impossible Bookie : I will pay u $200,000 Cronje : will be difficult to make India win. Bookie : I will pay u $250,000 Cronje : May be I could help you by reducing the margin... u tell by what margin we should win... will be much more easier Bookie : no India should win Cronje : OK. I will try my best Bookie : no make it. Cronje : OK. Bookie : what will be the score Cronje : 300, if we bat first Bookie : no make it 220 Cronje : Impossible. Agarkar and Joshi are playing. Bookie : 220 no change. Cronje : I will try Bookie : OK. I f India bat first Cronje : 180 Bookie : no make it 275 Cronje : no u are asking too much. Dravid is playing. Bookie : OK make it $300,000 Cronje : This would be the toughest match in my life Bookie : OK, deal is made. Cronje : yes Bookie : bye. Match starts India bats first. India score only 220 in 50 overs. During the lunch break Hansie's cell rings. Cronje : hello Bookie : its me. why did India score only 220. Our deal was 275. Cronje : What can I do ? They run one when they could run three, defend full toss, get out on wide balls, all catches and shots... I mean, if there is any... exactly directed to the fielders. But I will tell you this, Indians are too good at this, I tried re-arranging the field...but they never miss a fielder. Bookie : still u could bowl more no-balls. We got only 63 extras. Cronje : I asked all my bowlers to bowl badly. I also made Kirsten and Gibbs bowl. Bookie : Okay... leave that... I want u to loose the match. Cronje : I will try. Bookie : South Africa should be all out for 180 Cronje : OK. Bookie : bye. S. Africa bats. They are making a serious attempt to not hit the ball and if at all they hit trying their best to hit to the fielders. They try to run only singles for doubles. But sometimes, they can't stop themselves from running. All South African batsmen charged down to Joshi's bowling and they purposely miss the ball hoping at least one would hit the stumps. But they got to run a bye for that as Dighe is still searching for the ball. Inspite of the bad display of batting, they score 218 of 49 overs. Last over, 3 runs required, the worst part is that its an Agarkar over. Hansie is batting with Strydom. Bookie gets really furious. Hansie is ready to face the last over his cell rings (he plays with his cell). Cronje : hello Bookie : its me! . What are you upto ? Cronje : We tried the best we could Bookie : OK forget it. I want u to loose the match Cronje : what can I do. Fate !!! Agarkar is bowling Bookie : I don't know... u are loosing Agarkar bowls... Hansie tries to hide his bat behind his back. But the ball hits the bat and goes to third man. So they take a single. (cell rings) Cronje : sorry what can I do I was hiding my bat but still the ball comes and hit my bat. If I play much worse than this everybody will find out. Bookie : (gets really tensed). OK I can understand. But please don't take last two runs. Hansie talks to strydom. Agarkar bowls... a juicy full toss. Strydom uses all his batting skills to restrict that one to a single. Scores are level. (cell rings) Bookie : OK. Past is past. Atleast finish it in a tie. I don't know what u are going to do u are not taking a single or u give u'r bat to the umpire. Cronje : OK. OK. Don't worry this time I will! see to it we are not taking the single. Let it be obvious also. I am not taking the single. Agarkar bowls, unfortunately he bowls a no ball. South Africa wins the match. Bookie goes mad and Hansie faints in the field itself. Moral - With a team like ours, who needs to fix a match
25 Mar 07
Hahaha! Good one. After the worldcup anyone can expect such angst release on the Indian players. However, I wouldn't agree with one point - Dravid is playing so India won't make many runs. He is the only player who is most consistent and holds the innings together.