Just so Darn Depressed Right Now

March 26, 2007 6:26am CST
It helps to talk they say so I am going to talk to fellow mylotians. Okay one I don't do msn or yim and the reason is I get attatched to friends and then they let me down and I get upset. Last night I spent most of the night trying to explain to some old msn friends why I had been so distant. Any way this morning I went to see my doctor and I knew he would put my meds up and I should feel better for that but I feel like I am failing by relying on the darn drugs. Ugh! other people suffer a lot worse than me and they don't need anti depressants or if they do they don't need them increased because of their moods! Feel tired and depressed and weepy and I'll admit I do feel like I am in a rut and I do feel lonely. I spend a lot of time on the computer and last week it crashed. My virtual friends network was lost! Who would think that we could become so dependent on our virtual friends network.
9 people like this
24 responses
• United States
26 Mar 07
You can't go through life thinking everyone you meet will one day let you down. People are human and that means they will make mistakes...that is one thing that is certain...but you can't continue to hold that against your friends. It's not fair to them and certainly not fair to you. You are avoiding your friends because you don't want to be let down...but did you ever think that by avoiding them that you might have let them down? Don't depend so much on others for your happiness...you will be let down. Happiness is something only you can give to yourself...it's a choice. Keep you head up and don't miss out on the wonderful people and experiences that life has to offer. Take care.
@patgalca (15917)
• Orangeville, Ontario
26 Mar 07
Very well said.
@anonymili (3138)
26 Mar 07
Flowers - Some flowers to cheer you up
I also don't agree with the post a couple above mine saying that online friends are not worth considering as "real friends". I have online friends I've had for 7 or 8 years, some of whom I've met in real life and some who I will never meet purely because of how far away they are in the world. I have some really good online friends who gave me advice and support in times of need when I felt I couldn't talk as openly with my real life friends when I was going through my divorce. Sometimes having friends online means you can be more open and honest with them and talk to things you might not feel comfortable discussing with people in "real life". They haven't met you and they can give you unbiased advice. I feel bad that you are feeling so bad, I admit I have times when I feel weepy and depressed and overly emotional. I know some of it is down to my diabetes and I can lose my temper very easily with those closest to me. I haven't got to a stage where I need anti-depressants (well I don't think I have anyway) but do see your doctor and take his advice. My friend was on anti-depressants for 5 years and gradually came off them a year or so ago, she said it was very hard but she still has the option to go back on them if things get too unbearable. The thing to remember is not to feel defeated by having to take help from medication or from other people be they real life or virtual friends. You will always meet both real and virtual friends who can support you and/or let you down. Take care of yourself sweetheart and here's some virtual flowers for you. xx
@patgalca (15917)
• Orangeville, Ontario
26 Mar 07
I agree. Some people online can be real friends. I have one on a fibromyalgia board who actually sent me flowers when I was going through the first holiday without my father. The people on the other end of the internet line are real people with real feelings and we should treat them as such. Unfortunately, some people see differently and therefore don't treat others very well. We shall treat each other as we wish to be treated.
1 person likes this
@Zmugzy (773)
26 Mar 07
Sorry to hear you're feeling a bit down DC, I know what you mean, sometimes you can invest a lot of time in online friendships and in the end it can lead nowhere. I think you always have to be careful and not get too involved with virtual friends who you have never met in real life. I don't agree with the post above saying suggesting it's a complete waste of time, because you can learn quite a bit. But you have to beware of not getting to emotionally attached until maybe you have met the person in real life. I don't know what type of depression you have so I would never suggest you stop taking you're meds because no one on here is qualified or in a position to do so. I've always avoided taking pills in times of bad depression but looking back sometimes I think it would have been better if I had. All I can say is take note of your environment and diet - changing them always had a positive effect for me. Anyway, I hope you're feeling better this week, take care.
@Jaytech (2251)
26 Mar 07
I've never agreed with the attitude that this isn't real. It is just as real as making a phone call, the people at the other end are still flesh & blood & have feelings & emotions. The people's attitudes in my opinion are a reflection of how society has become, people are more worried about who wins big brother than the fact people are starving, or friends need them. Moral fabric has broken down, & this is why illnesses such as depression & anxiety are now so frequent in society. I suffer from anxiety & stress & it tears me apart at times, I have a disabled mother sat right behind me as I type this & have to look after her 24/7 with nothing to live on, yet were i to kick a piece of leather around a field I'd be a millionaire. It's a topsy turvy world. & yes, online friends do let you down but that can mean a few things, are they true friends? Are they reliable? Do they give a damn? But you can just as easily find friends with such selfish attitudes down the local pub. My point being, not everyone online is a selfish heartless person & for every selfish person on here you'll find a decent one. Pretty much the same way it works in real life, after all, the people online are the same people you walk past every day when out & about.
@patgalca (15917)
• Orangeville, Ontario
26 Mar 07
Also important to remember is that if you do not hear from those online friends for a certain period of time, they do have lives of their own with their own problems and may not be available to you when you need them. That is why you build up a community of friends. People get busy, people have sick and/or dying family members, people go on vacation. Don't be quick to write them off.
1 person likes this
@Jaytech (2251)
26 Mar 07
Good point pat, I got carried away & forgot to mention that ;)
@makingpots (11920)
• United States
26 Mar 07
I think we all worry too much about the meds we need to fight this illness. If your high blood pressure was up and the doctor adjusted your meds for that would you think as much about it? As for your friends. Don't expect anymore from them than you are able to give your self. you gotta love yourself first.
3 people like this
• United States
26 Mar 07
don't feel like a failure because you are on anti depressants. i take them myself and it has done me a world of good. it doesn't make me dopey or anything like that. i just feel better about life. yes, you can get dependent on friends but you need to learn how to depend on yourself and like yourself. then you can enjoy every friend and person that you meet. you will feel better soon once the medicine gets in your system. take heart, things will get better.
26 Mar 07
THE key word here is VIRTUAL = NOT REAL. Isn't it stupid to waste time and tears on something that is NOT real? Your confusion has to end. Sorry if I came in a little harsh, but you have fallen into a trap and you need to SNAP out of it. I know how much you're hurting, I have been where you are right now, but I woke up. It's not going to be easy, but ask yourself this...What have I gained from sitting infront of a machine talking to people YOU cannot feel, smell or touch?? What did you gain? Experience? Experience should be EXPERIENCED or they wouldn't have called it that. Technically, you gained NOTHING. So you have wasted your time if not your life. Get the picture? And all the durgs would do is just put you to sleep, it will never help you. Virtual friends are JUST virtual. The would pi$$ on you and put you on ignore whenever they want to. So don't mix reality with fantasy. Realize this by treating it this way. be REAL. END OF
2 people like this
• United States
26 Mar 07
Happiness is intrinsic as other mylotians have acknowledged. Only we can create our on happiness, unfortunately most of us try to find happiness in others, but it is only within ourselves that we can find it. It's our choice to be happy or not. Of course there are psychological illnesses, and in that case one should consider profession help. But all of us feel down at times. We should do what makes us happy, express our feelings through art, spend time with those who make us happy, or spend lovely and relaxing time in solitude, self-instrospecting ourselves.
1 person likes this
@kgwat70 (13394)
• United States
26 Mar 07
I am sorry that you are feeling depressed as I have experienced this feeling myself. It took a while for the doctors to find the right medication for me as well as the right dosage. They had to increase the meds at times or change the type of med and in some cases they need to lower the dosage. The med types and dosages all vary among people. I hated being dependent on medications as well. You should not feel bad or upset about needing to take meds. I am no longer taking meds as I was able to get over my depression. What I do to make sure I do not get depressed is make sure I get out of the house as much as possible. Too much time indoors is very unhealthy for a person from what the doctors have told me. keeping yourself busy doing things like going for walks or anything outdoors or being around other people can be helpful. It stinks that our computers crash and do not work properly at times but maybe it was a sign to spend more time outdoors or with your friends and family locally.
• Antigua And Barbuda
31 Mar 07
well i would not let u down i love to talk to friends alot even if i am working i always find time for my friends even if it is to say just hi or im showing some love. i am on my space and my friends dot even say hhi sometimes and its so sad to see that they add you to their friends and not even saying a friendly hello or ahola.
• India
27 Mar 07
Well, I have always seen depression as no way medical and rather all way mental --it is a state of mind that ruins you to work...that ruins u to smile...and to live !!!! I believe someone feels depressed only when he wants to be depressed rather..... whatever comes to you--there are so mnay ways to react on them, now it is all your wish that how do you particularly react to these situations.... May be you are not alone but actually are unable to figure out where around you your true friends are standing?
@vanities (11410)
• Davao, Philippines
27 Mar 07
well maybe you esily get depressed coz youre so addicted with your pc..and got no time for going out with friends..why not try scheduling your time so that you can breathe fresh air and exercise to lessen depression...
@pinokkio (352)
• Bahrain
27 Mar 07
The reason you're depressed all the time is because you're on the computer all the time. Trust me, I know that because I'm depressed as well and I spend almost the entire day in front of this screen. If you don't want to get depressed, think of something you'd like to do in the future and plan on doing it. It can be something you wanted to do as a child. Even if it's by using the computer. Looking forward always picks me up when I'm depressed.
• United States
27 Mar 07
I know exactly how you are feeling. In the past year I have lost almost all of my friendships and my best friend even lost some of my trust. I feel like nothing is ever going good for me and that everyone has abandoned me. I know how it feels to think that nothing is going to change and life is this never ending dissapointment. You need to always try to have hope for something in life. Remember the things you love and care for. Realize that this moment in life will pass and you will get through the tough times. Things usually happen for a reason, so just remember it is all for the best. Good Luck :)
• Philippines
27 Mar 07
oh that must be pretty hard for you, i know that it hurts a lot to be turned down by you old friends or your true friends.
@buenavida (9536)
• Sweden
27 Mar 07
I just found the movie I have seen several times: http://www.thescienceofgettingrich.biz/ It is online again so better see it while it is still there. I am not sure if it all works but there is no harm in learning and testing positive thinking. Our thoughts affect us more than we think. Except for this, our brain needs a food that many have not yet heard abot. More than half of our brain is fat and a big part should be Omega3, and it has helped me to get rid of depression and given a lot more happiness. So we can suffer due to lack of Omega3, not from lack of medicines. As fishoil has no side effects so there is no harm in trying it. It is important that the fish oil we take is cold pressed if we wish to benefit from it. You can read more in my profile about this.
• Philippines
26 Mar 07
i too became dependent on my online friends... there comes a tym that i became so weird that even to my real friends i talk about this virtual friends, but as i realized that i dont have to be too attached coz though there are truthful friends online there are friends that is just playing with you...we just have to learn to control our emotions, coz if we became too attached there's a tendency to be upset and depressed when they don't meet our expectations, well as for being a medicine dependent try to focus yourself on other things think of having a hobby play badminton with your friends dont think too much, just enjoy and keep yourself busy...
@aznj50 (84)
• United States
26 Mar 07
why don't you go out with your real friends. Maybe hang out with your friends at church or something. I felt warm and fuzzy everytime I go to church.
@GuateMom (1411)
• Canada
26 Mar 07
I wouldn´t consider you a failure by any means for taking medications! In fact, you are the opposite for admitting that you need them in order to balance things out. It isn´t your fault that you are depressed and good on you for seeing your doctor to sort things out when many people opt for just killing themselves! As for being distant, that is totally normal. It sucks, but I do it all the time to my friends, real or virtual, when I am down. It is a natural response to feeling depressed. It is hard to explain afterwards, though, I agree. I hope your doctor can help you, and please don´t feel bad for fixing what is wrong. :)
• United States
26 Mar 07
You have to hang in there. There is always SOMEONE you can talk to-even if it is "only" in cyberspace. Have you had a complete physical? I was told that I needed anti-depressants and actually got very ill before I was finally correctly diagnosed with tyroid disease. But, if there isn't a physical illness at the root, and you are on medication, work with your doctor and take advantage of every possible resource for dealing with this depression-including support groups, friends, lifestyle changes, etc.