Would you quit smoking because your partner said so?

stop smoking for the sake of your relationship? - withdrawal from smoking habit
Philippines
March 26, 2007 5:36pm CST
I have a friend who has been a moderate smoker for ages. She didn't have any problem about her being a mild smoker with her ex-boyfriends before coz they smoke as well..:P But her new boyfriend is a non-smoker and asked her to stop smoking. Well, his reasons seem not to be selfish though as he told her to quit smoking for some health reasons. He just doesn't want her to get any kinds of illness because of smoking..so as early as now, he asked my friend to quit smoking...:P If you were on my friend's shoes, would you quit smoking because your new partner said so? or would you still continue giving in to your appetite for smoking and just ignore what your new partner is saying? or would you pretend and make your partner believe that you have already stopped smoking, but when he's not around you'll eventually lit a few cigarette sticks? do share your thoughts..:P
15 people like this
45 responses
• United States
26 Mar 07
I wouldn't stop smoking for anyone but myself. I wouldn't expect my husband to, and I know he wouldn't. It is unfair of him to ask her to quit. I could understand him asking her to go outside so that he is not exposed to the secondhand smoke but other than that it is her choice.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 Mar 07
I do share the same thoughts with you, princeworthy.. I even told my friend that it's not so rightly for his boyfriend to ask her to stop smoking is coz in the very first place, he already knew that she smokes even before she courted her. So if she wanted to quit, then have her decide by herself..not because of him pushing her to quit.
• United States
27 Mar 07
I share the same views as you, princeworthy.
@shorva (923)
• Philippines
27 Mar 07
If you know that your love one's health is in risk, wouldn't you tell him to quit smoking just because you care so much for this person? I use to smoke and my ex boyfriend kept telling me to stop, i didn't listen, then I got sick, I had some lung ailment caused by smoking, how I wish I've listened. Now if my hubby or my daughter smokes, I would really tell them over and over and i would never get tired of telling them to quit. Not to prove who the boss is but because I care for them so much and I wouldn't want them to experience the suffering I had when I got really ill. Now if they pretended to quit, It's their choice but at least I did my best to save them from possible diseases.
@Ravenladyj (22936)
• United States
27 Mar 07
" I would really tell them over and over and i would never get tired of telling them to quit" But hounding someone gets you nowhere and in all reality could cause more damage or problems than it'll do any good...If my husband were a non-smoker and constantly pestered me I'd eventually go off on him and end the relationship..My kids were really bad with buggin me for the longest time they dont bother me anymore about it because I DID get mad eventually but then I explained to them that for ME its one demon at a time and I'm still working on 2 other addictions so my quitting smoking right now relaly isnt a good idea...
@kurasa (116)
• Indonesia
24 Apr 07
sure. cause we all know the bad things of smoking. in fact, i think thats one our partner use for :) to lead us to be more positive
@lafavorito (2964)
• Philippines
23 Apr 07
I don't smoke but even if I do, I will only quit smoking for myself. Your friend's new boyfriend met her when she's already smoking and now he wants her to stop, I don't like it when boyfriends prohibits their girls to stop doing something even though they're doing ti even before they met. Your friend should quit smoking because she wants to, not because he boyfriend says so. Think of it this way, he's onyla boyfriend and now he's already telling her what to do, what if in the future they get married, how many things will he prohibit your friend?
@MsTickle (25051)
• Australia
28 Mar 07
Depending on the sort stage of their relationship, if a couple are preparing to make some sort of long term committment, I think it's ok. If some situation is going to be a deal breaker, like ...smoking, not wanting children, farting, indiscreet nose picking, unsatisfactory job, smokes pot, gets drunk at parties, won't go to parties...I'm sure there are millions, then a couple should not proceed. Do not go ahead thinking you can change your partner at a later date. If someone is doing something intolerable then the couple should discontinue there friendship.
@beaniegdi (1966)
27 Mar 07
If your friend could give up smoking then that would be great for her. I used to smoke years ago and when you do you really don't realise what a smelly habit it is. Now I hate the smell of smoke and if I have to be anywhere where people are smoking I have to put all my clothes in the wash when I get home and have to shower as the smell makes me feel sick. I know it seems a bit bossy when a new boyfriend tries to change your habits but this is one habit that it is great to get rid of. If he can help her and give her the encouragement to give up then that will be good for her all her life whether she stays with this guy or not.
• United States
27 Mar 07
Truthfully, since he's not asking her just because he doesn't like it, but for issues of health, it sounds as though he cares about her. And I would at least try. But honestly, if someone is to quit smoking they aren't going to be successful unless they do it for themselves. You have to want to quit something in order to be able to do it. If you don't truly want to quit smoking, it just won't happen.
@Stiletto (4584)
27 Mar 07
I wouldn't stop smoking for anyone else. It's a bad reason to do it and it probably wouldn't work anyway. To successfully stop smoking you have to really want to do it because for most people it's a tough habit to break. I would however advise her to try to stop smoking - not for him but for herself. If she's only a moderate smoker now then she may not find it too difficult. By the way - I AM a smoker who regularly tries to stop so I know how tough it is!
• United States
27 Mar 07
I would definetly take heed of others giving feedback to me about smoking. It shows that others such as a significant partners cares of your well being. So, definetly I would consider on quiting for personal health and longevity. torch..
@ironstruck (2299)
• Canada
27 Mar 07
The only true way and proven way to ensure you quit smoking, is to quit because you want to.. It just does not work to do it for someone else. The motivation must come from within and not from someone else.
• Canada
27 Mar 07
Yes quit.
@amjada (379)
27 Mar 07
How not to lose your friends, if someone geds worried, WHAT is Sequence explained? i put Myself in thoughts not fears! do share your thoughts...:P
• Hong Kong
27 Mar 07
sure! I would quit if my partner said so! I am alos a moderate smoker, and now I don't quit because I am still single. if my future gf tell me to quit, I would do that. To be frank,Smoking does do harm to health,even not only to us but also to those besides me. I think if I love a girl, I would never do anything which pushs her into danger. Smoking is just a issue which would do harm to her. especially when we got married and she is pregnant, I am sure to stop smoking. you know, smoking is really not a good habbit. I am trying to make me smoke less and less, even quit smoking.
• India
27 Mar 07
well.... if it is not a passing affair but a genuine one, and is with someone who is the true love of my life,,, it wouldn't be really difficult for me to leave any of my habits, or change myself, to much of an extent, provided it makes her happy..... well i am one such kind guy only...much into reltinships and relationship...so really wouldnt be a tough job for me....
@jillmalitz (5132)
• United States
27 Mar 07
That is tough. My ex quit smoking the day we got married. Hasn't smoked since. Can't say much for the marriage. I wish my current husband would quit. He knows I want him to quit and so does he. But...He has tried numerous times without sucess. He even smoked on the patch! Right now we don't have the money to get the treatment he needs to quit.I think it would be great if a friend could quit because a special person asked them to. I really think that most people want to quit. Most don't have the will to do so.
• Canada
27 Mar 07
Honestly I don't know if I could do this . It is not because I wouldn't want to quit but smoking is a habit and is addictive . I have tried to quit many times in the past and have never actually succeeded . I did quit for nine months when I was pregnant with my last daughter but found even with all this time that I was still craving all the time . They say that after a couple of weeks it is the habit you miss and not so much the craving but I was still really craving all the time and had to try and fight it everyday . When they informed me that there was going to be something wrong with my daughter as she had not grown in three months because of my pressure , I couldn't take it anymore and started smoking again . I would love to just quit the habit and not so much for someone else as much as I would love to quit for myself and for my children as I know they don't like it that I smoke .
@freeswan (19)
• Philippines
27 Mar 07
I used to be a smoker but ended it cold turkey by choice. i thought of my future that time. my boyfriend right now smokes, that's the only vice he got. he doesnt gamble, he doesnt drink but he just smokes. i tried alot of times asking him to quit smoking but it seems difficult for him, so i just leave everything up to him. anyway, he's the onle who will suffer the consequences, not me.
@Marie2473 (8519)
• Sweden
27 Mar 07
I have a friend who was a smoker when she met the man she now is with. they have been together for years and she stopped smoking when she got pregnant, but picked it up again after she gave birth. Now she does it behind his back coz he told her that if he ever finds out that she is smoking again he would kick her out. I think this is sooo stupid, coz she was a smoker when they met - he knew about it still he persued the relationship. I was a smoker as well, stopped in november after smoking for 13 years. My bf is not a smoker and I am sure that it helped, but he never asked me to quit so I just did it for ME!!
• Pakistan
27 Mar 07
i fynk soo dah diz all depend upon dah how much the person is true wyd her partner ,if one relly loves dah person nd is it is foe de sake ov relation ship den one should have to quit smoking ,buh if de person is not truth full wyd his or her companion den i fynk k he will be goin on wyd de habbit !!!
@dlkuku (1936)
• United States
27 Mar 07
If he wants her to quit smoking, he needs to be supportive and not demanding. I would resent someone telling me not do something and I would end up doing it even more or worse sneaking it. I'm rebellious like that. :) Smoking is an addiction with a capital A. According to medical experts, it is as hard to quit smoking as it is to quit heroine. I believe that, I have been smoking since I was a teen, (one of those things, if I knew then what I know now, I would never have started). I have tried to quit smoking several times, and end up giving up. It's hard enough to do it for yourself.