Is it better to show that you care or don't?
@itswhatsintheglass (13)
United States
March 28, 2007 8:16pm CST
I have a boyfriend that doesn't really shows that he cares. I think that he does because when we get into a heated argument he always asks if I'm okay and tries to cheer me up when I'm crying or feeling bad, but when everything is just normal I try to talk to him about serious things. I don't like to yell and get upset. I would rather just talk like normal person with calm voices and work things out. When I talk to him normally he just doesn't listen or responsed. The only time that he does listen is when I'm upset or sad. I don't know what to do. Should I just act like him and show that I don't care? Should I just wait until things are upsetting before I speak my peace? How can I get a guy to listen to me without having to get upset? I always forwarn him that I'm going to ask something serious, and ask him if he wants to talk. It is getting frustrating and hard to deal with. I don't want to not care or show that I don't care. I just really confused and need some advice? Can you help? Guys especially from you. Thanks greatly appreciated.
2 people like this
3 responses
@samtaylorskykierajen (7977)
• Canada
29 Mar 07
Have you tried telling him how you feel and asking him if he does care why he acts like he doesn't unless something is wrong ?
Showing someone you care about them is always a good thing . Try asking him how he would feel if you never showed him that you cared . It takes work to show someone that you care about them and maybe if he is not able to do this for you then maybe you are not meant to be , but I have always felt that talking is the best way to get the answers to what we are seeking .
Best of luck !!
1 person likes this
@itswhatsintheglass (13)
• United States
29 Mar 07
I have asked him why he doesn't show that he cares, but he says that he does, and I have even given examples of things that he has done in the past. I try and talk to him, but he tries to avoid the topic. He says that the last time that he showed someone that he cares, he was slapped in the face(not literally) and was hurt really bad. I know that some experiences can scar you. I guess that continuing to care about him might show that I'm not willing to give up. I hope that he can understand or at least realize it. As for talking I still need some advice as for the best way to aproach it would be helpful.
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
29 Mar 07
I think a lot of men have trouble showing emotion and it is something you can't force otherwise it would be fake, some people just dont realise that some need ro be shown to know how that person is feeling, none of us are mind readers, don't give up your show of caring, I know it can be frustrating but maybe one day he will realize and change a little...I hope so for you...goodluck.
@itswhatsintheglass (13)
• United States
29 Mar 07
Thanks! I know that it is hard for men to show their feelings, they must be manly. I will continue to show that I care, because it probably means something to him. I guess that I could wait for him to show his care, but I hope that it doesn't take too long. You know a person can only wait so long.
@abhijeet_audi (180)
• India
29 Mar 07
well if u care 4 someone, u dnt need show that u care... other person wll know that when he/she is in any problem and u r their 2 support him/her...
@itswhatsintheglass (13)
• United States
29 Mar 07
Supporting someone is not like showing that you care about them. If you decide that you are going to change your job, supporting some one would be like right on. I hope that you like it. Caring about them would be possibly researching the job and seeing if it is best for them. Talking about it and seeing if it is the best decision. Offering to take them to the interview, or to work if they need a ride. Support can only go so far, be showing care means a lot more to a person than just knowing. Actions speak louder than words.
