jealousy
By AnoChaudhary
@AnoChaudhary (1719)
India
March 29, 2007 3:38pm CST
Hello people i just wanted to ask 'can a mother really be jealous of her own daughter?' b'cos my best friend who i have been friends from high school had this wierd relation with her mother. At that time we didnot have so much of access to internet so we just discussed it among our ourselves. I am ashamed to say but sometimes i thought my friend was lying when she told me incidents of her moms jealousy but when i finally met her i knew what my friend meant. I cud actually feel the hatered emanating from her body. Its not just controlling my friends life you she wud actually go out of her way to see my friend is unhappy but fortunately for my friend she got married at the age of 19 and moved out and kept her mom out of her life but now she has a baby boy and her mom feels she has the 'right' to see her grandchild and she keeps calling n visiting my friend which is a mental torture to her....how do handle such a thing?
2 people like this
5 responses
@mummyofthree (2715)
•
29 Mar 07
I think your friend needs to make a decision. To either repair the damage with her mother or move on. If she chooses to move on then she needs to firmly tell her mother to back off.
I can't ever imagine being jealous of my daughter. I want my daughter to be happy. To do all the things I never had the opportunity to. Learn from my mistakes and make her own!
My kids mean everything to me and there is nothing that makes me happier than seeing them happier.
@AnoChaudhary (1719)
• India
29 Mar 07
thank you for your reply and your kids are really lucky to have a mom like you !!! :) She has told her mom many times maybe we need to think through properly and then give a firm reply...thanks for your input:)
@AnoChaudhary (1719)
• India
29 Mar 07
i just had one other question either mommyofthree or netski can answer it for me....is it right to take the dad into confidence? will it help b'cos so far he has never had anything to say...but somehow i feel he is 'aware' of it is going on but he prefers to keep quite...
@beaniegdi (1963)
•
30 Mar 07
This is so sad for your friend. When I was at school a friend of mine had the same problem, her mother was awful to her for no reason. My friend left home when she was quite young and wanted to go to University, all her mum had to do for her was sign some forms, it would not have cost her anything to do this but she wouldn't even do that. My friend had to wait until she was older and didn't need her mums signature to go.
She doesn't have rights to see her grandchild but maybe they could meet up once a month or so in a cafe or park so they could see each other. It might stop the constant calls and visits. Maybe your friend could get some legal advice on this as it sounds like the woman is harrasing your friend. Maybe your friends husband could have a word with her about visiting so much when she is not wanted.
@AnoChaudhary (1719)
• India
30 Mar 07
Thank you for sharing your views with me. You know we were discussing it just between the two of us we never thought of involving her husband b'cos my friend tried to keep away from her mom so he has met just twice so maybe we can involve him. Thank u for suggesting it :)
@Melody1 (967)
• India
30 Mar 07
I feel your friend's mother is very unfortunate for missing out on the joys of motherhood.She also ,sorry to say,has failed in performing her duties as a mother.
I read the first response and the possible reasons for it.Still I fail to understand and extremely saddened by the fact that there might be more such children.
I always believed that'God created mother because he couldn't be present always for his children.'
In crisis,we always exclaim,"oh,mother,help me,I need you." The plight of children of such thoughtless mothers is just unimaginable.
I find it strange that the one who could not feel for her daughter,now wants to see her grandchild.
Anyway,she should be given a chance,just one,lest it turns out to evoke some affection from her atlast.
@samrat16 (2442)
• India
29 Mar 07
Why mom can't be jealous of her won daughter??? Let it be mom, dad, brother, sister or wife/husband we all are human beings and we have somethings inner built which we can't change and they are emotions. Anyway a mature person will overlook the childish acts of the other one and life goes on like this only .
@netski_15 (423)
• Philippines
29 Mar 07
There are really mothers who are jealous of their own product. There are also lot of factors why this happens.
- The mother did not enjoy her single life because she got pregnant immediately.
- The mother feels hatred everytime she sees her daughter because the dad is bad and she sees it in her.
- The mother has mental illness in terms of dealing with her daughter.
- There's insecurity.
- The mother wants to let her daughter feel how she was treated when she was still a kid.
There are other reasons out there. Sometimes, it's really hard to understand your own mom treating you like that. I suggest your friend to be upfront and tell her mom what she feels. Ask for reasons why she is doing that. Let her mom feels that not because she is only her daughter she has every right to get into her life especially now that she is married.
@AnoChaudhary (1719)
• India
29 Mar 07
yes thank you for replying and it was very useful the way you gave reasons maybe i should tell my friend also to take some time and 'think' WHY her mom is doing it...maybe like you said there is underlying reason for mom to treat her that way once we find that maybe hopefully she can find a solution to the whole issue...thanks again:)
