Cry with friends or console them?

India
March 30, 2007 7:02am CST
In last week, my best friend's brother has expired in a train accident. i got the news after two days and went to my friend's home. i saw him crying badly , i cried with him. dear mylottians, that was the time when i really could not stop myself crying as i saw his brother chilling out with us since many years. Now when i talk to my friend, i don't know what shall i do whether to cry with him or to console him. what you all say about this? looking forward to see your responses. thank u shalini
1 person likes this
7 responses
@dpk262006 (56734)
• Delhi, India
3 Apr 07
Shalu, it is really sad to read about the demise of your best friend's brother. May his soul rest in peace! Yes, it was quite natural for you to cry for the departed soul. But now when he is no more.....I think you will have to console your friend .....you need to give him moral support.. and should assure him that you are there to share his sorrows..... those who have gone to heavan...cannot come back....slowly and gradually ....your friend has to face the reality. To help him face the reality....you have to lend him your helping support and assistance.
• India
3 Apr 07
thanks a lot for your response
• India
2 Apr 07
For me it is very difficult to face a situation like this. I can not console anybody and am not strong enough to see somebody is crying. I also do like you did. I will cry with them.
• India
2 Apr 07
thanks for your response
• United States
30 Mar 07
I am very sad to hear this. I also feel you did what came natural to you. At this sad time,you were a real friend. You could have sad some kind words and left. You stayed there with your friend even when you broke down yourself. This is a hard thing to deal with. When one has the comfort of a friend it's very helpful. I can't say what I would have done. We can never say this for sure. I don know Your friend is very blessed to have you. I would hope we are mylot friends as well. :)
• India
2 Apr 07
thankyou for your response. you can imagine the situation that time, i was having no words to say him except crying. i just got brke down. now as the time is passing, i m able to console him. thanks to all of you regards, shalini
@ackars (1942)
• India
30 Mar 07
I dont cry with friends..I console them..But I do agree that there were occassions when I ve cried with my friends.Thats when one of my friend didint get in an entrance exam but I got in..I was very close to that guy and he didin get in anywhere else...But I had got in three places...If I had quit,it shouldnt have helped him as he was not even on the waiting list too...So noway I could help him..That is the only time I ve cried with my friend...
• India
2 Apr 07
i can understand your situation at that time and really sorry for it but you are right there are some occassions where we can do nothing except wait and watch. thank you so much for your response regards, shalini
30 Mar 07
For me, crying with a person is a way of consoling them! It's a way of showing them that you understand their emotions, and makes them see that you are there for them. Also, i think they may feel less embarassed to cry in front of you if you cry with them, because a lot of people feel uneasy about showing such strong emotions in front of people. Giving someone a shoulder to cry on and sharing in their pain is the best way of consolation in my opinion, as when i am upset, there is nothing worse than someone who seems uninterested in what i am feeling or someone who doesn't seem to care.
• India
2 Apr 07
thank you for your response. i will keep your words in my mind. thanks once again regards, shalini
@wachit14 (3600)
• United States
30 Mar 07
I think it's okay to cry with your friends and console them at the same time. When my friend lost her husband in the World Trade Center attack, I did plenty of crying with her. She was still comforted by me and I think it made her feel better that she wasn't crying alone.
• India
1 Apr 07
i think you are very right. thanks for your kind advice. regards, shalini
@lafavorito (2964)
• Philippines
30 Mar 07
I'm sorry for your friend's lost, there is nothing wrong in crying with him but you need to be strong for him.
• India
30 Mar 07
thanks for your response