A woman's life changes after marriage

United States
March 30, 2007 9:05am CST
I remember how I used to be pampered by my parents and relatives when I was young, how they bought gifts and worried sick whenever I fell ill. Now that I am a wife and a mother, I have become almost like a robot who is never expected to get tired, fall sick, get hungry, feel needs to go to the bathroom or sleep and is always expected to be in a jolly mood and ready to serve. Sometimes I feel like sitting down and do absolutely nothing but cry and cry. I can't complain, I myself chose this life. But why do women have to lift the burden of life all alone?
5 people like this
24 responses
@Karmalina (647)
• Australia
31 Mar 07
This might be a little off topic but it made me think of the fact that so much more is expected out of women these days. 50-60 years ago it was perfectly acceptable to be a homemaker and spend your life taking care of your family. It's still a big job, but at least it left a little time to breathe. Now so much more is expected from women. I am glad we are treated as pretty much equal in western civilization, but now we're also still expected to do a days work both inside and outside the home which puts a huge strain on us. We also receive little credit for what we do because if we get exasperated from housework it's our job. If we complain about working outside the home that's our job too. Men's roles have stayed virtually the same over time. We've taken on a load of new responsibilities. People often don't give themselves or women in general due credit for what we do. I don't see any huge movements to get men to start taking more of a part in taking care of kids or doing housework. I think that should be the next step for women. Stand up and earn some appreciation and some help. I think it's sad the way our lives change when we marry, but remember the people that took care of you that way were probably in the same situation as you are now. You get to pass this care and concern on to your children and most likely they will pass it back when you become old. I know life is hard now, but chin up and the best of luck.
1 person likes this
• India
31 Mar 07
I don't think so but all the things are change father mother and family members .
@Bell88 (370)
• Malaysia
31 Mar 07
But how come men still get to go on with their careers, watch their favourite sports channel , come home and eat their wives cooking and then not lifting a single finger in the house? I see an unfair change for womenl
@mannu123 (144)
• India
30 Mar 07
Becoming a wife and then a mother is a great responsibility. When we were young, we hardly had any responsibilities, but now the time has come to play the same roles our parents played. You will have to pamper yourself....try it out and you will feel better. Pull out some time for ourself and do something you love the most. Like I buy myself chocolates every time I go out and relish eating it. Its not that we are the neglected ones..but yes..we are the most spontaneous one in the family. Lets look at it this way... make your folks respect the hard work you are putting behind giving such a high quality output.
@Bell88 (370)
• Malaysia
31 Mar 07
Their is a simple solution. Her husband also needs to start pulling some weight around the house also. She needs to delegate some chores to her kids too and teach them responsibility.
@year3399 (173)
• China
2 Apr 07
my wife and I agree to be biks,Ian 38 says we are both busy with careers and value the flexibility we have to enjyo out leisure time .we have been married for three years I had like a child but not a this point
@aweins (4203)
• India
31 Mar 07
i think you are 100 not 100 100000 percent true. you have written word to word what is happening with me or happens with me. people think that i m a robot and i can t complain. i have no right to that thing , that is an alien thing to me. i m soo frustated that i when i saw your discussion after reading , tears rolled down my eyes, you are suffering , and suffered all what i m facing and suffering. i cant complain, i have to show myself happy always . if a person is on a customer care job , she has to wear that artificial smile for maximum 8 hours, maximum, but here i have to wear it 24x7 . its so disgusting , i just hate it , i just wanna go away somewhere, far away where nobody could ever reach me. thereis no space in my life , i have no life left in fact. the best part where GOD also helps is that i dont even fall sick or ill , so that i can lie in that case inly. everybody falls ill, some or the other reason some one is suffering from something, inspite of me doing all the daily chores.i have no time to eat, no time to sleep. if people want milk in half way in night i have to get up, if they want lunch in tea time i have to be ready to serve, i should never feel tired, i m boosted by GOD with some extra energy. GOD help me but i m really so very frustated of my life at times that i literally cry so badly alone in the night . i think i have lost everything in my life i have no individuality now left. my hubby keeps on consoling me, but all waste , its not the matter to console, what is truth is truth, u cannoyt deny it neither can u run away from the situation. i really like your discussion a lot and really want to meet u in person if possible , atleast some on earth is there who can understand what u r feeling , in which situation r u going the present moment.i just wanna rate u the maximum i can . but a big tight hug to u from a friend who is quite far away sitting on one end but really is touched by what all u wrote. u have a very nice day and WISH GOD helps u in doing more work n providing more energy to do that.
@roque20 (518)
• Philippines
31 Mar 07
Its natural to person to change after marriage because you become more mature and you are being influence by your experiences and the environment and it is natural.We have all imperfections in life and it depends on how we handle it..
@yomy1984 (177)
• United States
31 Mar 07
thats the biggest responsibility of a women, being a mother to his or her kid is not easy for us women, sometimes we forget our selves just to make sure that our kids is safe and good even though how tired we are here, we are just making our best to serve them better, to give them enough food to eat, care them in the middle of the night when they are crying, pampered them to stay away from any harmful things,,but when they grow up...they dont mind it at all until the same thing that they will also becoming a mother..being a mother is not just taking care of his son or her daughter, not just serving his husband when it arrive home, but also a mother that we need to love more than anything else.
• Philippines
31 Mar 07
i can feel the burden that you are feeling now because i am also a mom. the father of my daughter expects too much from me, he expects me to take care of his baby all the time but i can't always do that because i also have other things to do. as a mom we alsa have weaknesses and we have mistakes and that's what guys don't know about. guys think that we can do all the job in the house but it's not. they think that a women are the only one's who are responsible inside the house but it's not true. man and woman are alike. so guys need to know that woman can't do all the things inside the house and the us women also need the help of the guys in doing the household work.
• India
31 Mar 07
a indian wife - change in life
i agree with you. After marriage a lot of responsibility come in the life of women's life. She has to act as mother, aunty, Bhabhi, Bahu and a lot of relationship besides daughter and sister. And you can't say these as burden. Because it is the responsibility given to you by god. You think first that a lot of persons are there who are waiting for your one hint. Then can act as you order and there is a lot of persons who guide you in living your life healthy.
@jen20619 (1302)
• Ireland
31 Mar 07
I have to say I couldnt marry and feel like a robort.I think this is why Im a 31 year old single woman.I want to be careful before I make that commitment.I do think you deserve some time off from all the stuff you have to do.
• Canada
31 Mar 07
Yes you are right life chances after marriage, earlier you were young now you are mature to takecare of yourself. It all depends on love from your husbands side, if he love you and take good care than it is ok otherwise everyone feel you are just a person who provide free sevice. everyone wants his/her work to be done soon. you are blamed for small small issues till you break silence and raise your voice and if your husband is along with you that is good otherwise people says that you are ill manner. Dear it is real bad world and quite difficult to understand. It is story of all womens and each house.
• China
31 Mar 07
My best friend said when she got married, the strongly feeling she can experience is that she has to do the house work day and night. It seems never stop.
31 Mar 07
yes. i do think d same.although i'm a married man.I can understand d transformation of woman's personality after she gets married.She has 2 leave her parents with whom she is generally so attached.Her siblings , who must 've shared hazzar things in their chilhood.After marriage its really her hubby's responsibilty make her comfortable with d new ambience.
@beaniegdi (1966)
31 Mar 07
It can be very hard to be a wife and mother, I remember how stressed out I would become when my children where younger. If possible try to get even 5 minutes in a day just to relax and unwind, if you can take the children out for walks each day as the excersise will make you feel less stressed plus the excersise for the children will make them easier to look after and also helps them sleep at night. As much as possible try to look on the positive side of everything, yes having children is hard and tiring but think how awful you would feel if you found after you married that you had been unable to have them at all. Try to join in their games and have fun with them so it doesn't always feel like a burden. You may be a bit depressed so you need to be kind to yourself and try to treat yourself as often as possible, even if all that means is a soak in the bath, your favourite meal or a visit to friends. If you can talk to your friends each day and try to find somethng to laugh about as that will help lift your mood. I found it very hard whn mine where younger but one day they will be grown up - honest - and then they will begin to spoil you, your children will love you more than anyone ever has. Mine are now 22 and 19 and they treat me so well and look after me, but when they where little and also when they where teenagers they drove me crazy. I did use to cry as I did find it so hard, they always seemed to be in some trouble or other and never seemed to want to sleep etc. But I promise you now they are great and can't do enough for me and hopefully some time in the future they may make a grandmother of me, which might not sound much consilation to you now but believe me one day you will look forward to it. Try to keep in your mind that this time will pass and a much easier and better, happier time will come to you.
• India
31 Mar 07
Woman's life does change but for good. Life after marriage is totally different...It can be made better or worse ..depending on how you deal with it. If u traet it like a burden then its difficult to carry on with it. I think that women only change home...but family atmosphere remain more or less same..means mother, father...but you get one extea member..that's your husband. Life is much better after marriage.
@Bell88 (370)
• Malaysia
31 Mar 07
Wow, hearing you say this, i think i know how my mother feels now. You're not the only mother who feels this way. I know my mum feels this way too. But she loves us too much to stop "serving" us. I swear never to become like that. In future, I will make sure my partner shares all the responsibilities. And from now on, i'll help out my mother more often.
@tahirauf (94)
• Pakistan
31 Mar 07
well....it varies from partner to partner....if ur husband is very coperative then u never feel like what u r feeling right now.....make good friends so that u can share ur worries and problem with them as a result u,ll feel lightened...
@Ravrockin (281)
• India
31 Mar 07
Did you ever heard about super natural heroes like superman,their are powers are gifted by god an nobody else would be able to do the job of super man.So like that in you he has gifted all the powers from which you able to perfom in your home.so only women are capable for this powers.
@varun23 (902)
• India
31 Mar 07
To be pampered by my parents and relatives ! Yes this the case for almost every girl before marriage , but after marriage its not quite same I guess !
• China
31 Mar 07
ah..we classmates always have an disussion about marry and if to get a kid or not after marry.. we always come out a result that we will get marry before thirty years old but not too early..we come out a result that fetation is painful and fearful although we all suppose that being a mother is great. wish you make a blance life full of relax and joyful..!