Reasons to stay together

i have been divoreced for 4 years now. i have three kids. they went through heck when i went through the divorce. as matter of fact they still are. they do not see thier father on a regular basses. he does have vitation rights but he choices not to activate it. my youngest child is 8 years oldhe was three at the time so he knows that he has a dad but does not know what it feels like to have him in the house full time. my oldest was 6years old at the time and she is now 11. she has seen alot of things that went on between us and now she could care less if she sees her father. my middle child is takeing it the hardest. so yes it does affect them for the good part of thier life. i am still dealing with it too the day.if you stay together for the well being of the kids then is the wrong reason to stay together. let me put it to you this way think of the well being of the kids when you make your decision and not about your self.

Hi there Mitchacoy, I would think it would affect them, I am a Divorced mom and had left their dad when my oldest child was 5. The kids at that age don’t fully understand why mom and dad are not together and it is hard on them, when their dad left he had no contact with them until of course I took his sry butt to court! I had to end the marriage for my kids for our relationship was not healthy for my ex, myself and most Importantly my kids. To me I think staying with your partner for the kids can also hurt them long term for they are living in it. But overall keep talking to your child (ren) and reassure them that both parents Love them very much and it’s not their fault Support will go a long way to help for recovery.

i think the effects of divorce do last a lifetime...good and bad...i think both parents need to work hard at having a strong relationship with the children..they still need to support the other parent when it comes to schooling and discipline so they kids can not use one parent against the other...no fighting in front of the kids no bad mouthing the other parent..if its handled right then it is healthier than an unhappy marriage

Yes! But in my parents case it was for us kids. My father was abusive but only abused us. When my mom found out about it, she divorced him. And we have all been happier ever since! The rest of our lives are better for it because we didn't have to put up with it any more. I don't know how it would be for children whos parents were both kind to them. It would most likely be more difficult than great.