Can ex's remain friends?

United States
October 18, 2006 7:31pm CST
My ex-husband and I are better friends than when we were married. I am currently remarried and my husband is understanding of this relationship. However, my best friend insists that the only reason my husband is still friends and not married is because he secretly wishes to still be with me. SO, can ex's remain friends and is there a secret agenda?
1 person likes this
9 responses
@Aali311 (6112)
• United States
20 Oct 06
I'm still friends with my ex and my husband knows, expect we're not like best friends or anything, I guess you can be, just as long as you both know what you're doing.
@exodamus (1625)
• India
20 Oct 06
If the breaking off was a mutual consent and both are comfortabel after the breaking off then definetly Ex's can be friends. Because the expectations are different now than what it was during the relatuionship
@wahmoftwo (1296)
• United States
19 Oct 06
I think you are asking for trouble. If you have children your relationship should be strictly the coparenting of them, if not you have a husband, confide in him. You may not like what I have said but I am married and have an ex-husband I share a child with. That is what I have found to work best for everyone.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Oct 06
Hm.....I don't see how I'm asking for trouble? I am mearly asking a question regarding a discussion my friend had about the situation. We do in fact have a child together thus why we remain friends for that fact. We do not have dinner together, we do not share holiday's together, we do not hang out and watch movies or other. However, due to our parenting agreement we do have to contact one another every night to discuss our son's day and it allows him a chance to speak with the other parent. It was mearly a question, can ex's remain friends without there being a secret agenda? I am happily married but this question was risen when someone asked why my ex isn't remarried or dating anyone. So, any answers relating to the question at hand would be greatly appreciated. Thank You!
1 person likes this
@wahmoftwo (1296)
• United States
19 Oct 06
I feel that I answered your question appropriatly, even though I didn't tell you what you wanted to hear. I said that you SHOULD have a relationship for the child's sake. You ARE asking for trouble if your friendship is about anything other than that, which it very well may not be since you say your husband is understanding (unless he is very gullable or something). I'm sorry if my response offended you, that is not what I intended. I simply gave an honest respronse to the question as you posted it.
1 person likes this
@Azita888 (315)
• United States
19 Oct 06
some people can still be friends after the relationship is over, me and my ex-husband are friends still, I am dating someone right now and he is too, but it's not always been that way but we never had a secret agenda to get back together... Now on the other hand, my ex-bf is a type of person i won't want to do anything with cause all he does is says how eventually we are gonna be together again and that gets annoying cause I know i don't feel the same.
2 people like this
@macubx (11414)
• Philippines
28 Oct 06
Nope, Lovers Cant be Friends - even if they manage to be friends there is always a string attached
@surya3331 (693)
• India
28 Oct 06
Of course. They remain our friends. If u be in touch with ex it will be good if not sometimes we may break their heart.
1 person likes this
@linkpointe (1003)
• Philippines
23 Oct 06
It would be nice to hear that EXs can remain as friends. No hard feelings for your past realtionship that doesn't work out. However, If i were in your shoe, i will make a distant afterwards you ahve forgive and forget what caused your break up. In that way, your new life will never beinterfere with such thought.
1 person likes this
• Canada
28 Oct 06
I think it depends on whether or not there are kids involved. At one time I would have said yes because dh and his ex got along so well, but when he tried to discuss their daughter with her, she went balistic and hasn't spoken to him since. I guess it's okay to have a 15 year old act like a tramp.
• United States
2 Nov 06
Ex's are usually comfortable enough around each other to talk about anything that might bother them or anything on their minds. Dont you agree.