Can a man and a woman truely be only friends?

@nicolec (2673)
United States
April 2, 2007 12:11pm CST
This weekend a male friend of mine confessed he was attracted to me. Hinting at wanting more than just a friendship. I have no romantic interests in this guy and have always been happy with him as a friend. And it got me thinking. Can a man and a woman truly be friends without one wanting more? I mean a real friend. Not just some one you work with or cross paths every once in a while. A friend you talk to, a friend you hang out with. Is it possible? Or will one always have that desire in the back of their minds that more will come from it?
9 people like this
65 responses
@stacyv81 (5904)
• United States
2 Apr 07
I dont think so, Even if you think you are friends with someone there is usually at least a hidden likeness. Every guy I have ever been friends with hit on me, or told me they liked me. I dont think it is possible, but that is my opinion.
2 people like this
@nicolec (2673)
• United States
2 Apr 07
I believe that too. there is always something hidden. And sometimes it stays hidden and perhaps goes away. And sometmes, like this, it comes out. Yes, I feel that same you do.
1 person likes this
@gadvid (63)
• Malaysia
3 Apr 07
Actually it is quite hard especially for the singles. Unless they have spouses. But it is possible that man and woman can be just friend and nothing else. Hold to your principle might help.
2 people like this
• India
3 Apr 07
I dont think so. Men and women cannot be jsut friends. Emotions do creep in.
2 people like this
@elliete (26)
• China
3 Apr 07
i think it was decided by the attitude of you two.in fact, there must be one or both having feeling to another or each,they are only friends because the take it that way,and it is good for the two persons to be just friends. if they break the line, neither will feel easy. so let it go. but if one wants to go further,the balance between them will be broken.just like the situation you are in. my suggestion is take it easy,tell him the real feeling.and be friend again.if not, put it into memory.
2 people like this
@anastazia (154)
• Canada
2 Apr 07
I would like to belive they can be but at times I just don't know. Through out most my life my friends have been men. I will have to say that most of my men friends have admitted to the thoughts of wanting the relationship to move beond the friends stage. When I found this out it was talked about and some of them I'm still friends with and others couldn't handle just being friends so the friendship ended. I think honestly if people man/woman should be able to talk about their feelings and be honest if you value the friendship. Getting over the bumps is all part of a good friendship. BB smiles
1 person likes this
@nicolec (2673)
• United States
2 Apr 07
I'm the same way. I would like to believe that we can be. But it always seems the man wants to get in my pants. Some hide it better than others, but it always seems to be there.
• Canada
4 Apr 07
LOL anit it the truth
@dare2k (153)
• Hungary
3 Apr 07
I think not.In very rare cases maybe but in day to day life not. There is a bad thing in us humans we all want relations with the other half. Mostly guy start to think like this could be more then just frienship but it's not wrong. Partners who get close to each other have these feeling and usually they agree to become lovers or not and then comes trouble. p.s. I have comited a mistake. Yes they can be friend if they are g-a-y people. Then they will have no other interest in each other.
1 person likes this
@nicolec (2673)
• United States
3 Apr 07
You make a good point. Gay and straight people can be very good friends with no romantic interests involved.
• Canada
3 Apr 07
I've made some interesting connection while being here, read alot of profile seen some fabulous pictures too. Although, I have yet to make a full connection. Meeting people online is not the same as meeting them in person. But, I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that. I would rather meet in person. In person you get the spectrum of who they are, rather than what they could be. Would I really like to meet each of these people om my page.... Absolutely! It has a different feel to it, you're more cautious as to whom you're meeting or conversing with. You're looking for someone with similar interest which could help the new friendship blossom into a strong one. This only happens if you have, well.... from my perspective a physical attraction. Which confuses the heck out of me. Isn't a friendship based on who you are,.. rather than what you have or look like? Yes, it's true.. I'm adult enough to know the difference between the two. Why have we conditioned ourselves to do this? Why do we treat our potential friends like we're planning to date them? Maybe,... this is why men and women shouldn't be friends. Aha... this makes perfect sense now. Men and women can't be friends.. simply because we're too busy looking for the one that sweeps us of our feet. We do crazy things when we are in love. They say that love is blind. The real question should be. How blind do we have to be not to see it? Are we fooling ourselves when it come to friendship? How far are willing to go, when it comes to friendship? Do we even care what it does to us? I don't think so!! Thanks for your discussion
@nicolec (2673)
• United States
3 Apr 07
Yes I think your right that many friendship start because you are already 'physically' attracted to that person. And since we are all looking for the 'one' it stands to reason we become friends with some one thinking they may eventually be the right one for us.
• Canada
3 Apr 07
Sure they can i am friends with a few women who share the things i do nto wanna hear about with me like cycles and stuff. We have discussed the bedroom thing and we both are nto feelign the same way about it she is cute and all just nto may type. Another we met as a one night stand and now are friends she is fun to be with and all but it was a fun weekend and found we realted better as freinds than anything else. It seems to eb how you meet, what point in yer life you meet, and how much each are willign to trust with there emotions.
1 person likes this
• Canada
3 Apr 07
Gotcha now but I do have a friend who have not slept with adn we get along great she and i can do any thing together but never even tried to go to bed with do not think of her in that sense
@gegegelay (934)
• Philippines
2 Apr 07
I think so.. well based on my twin sister's situation, she has this bestfriend who's a guy and he happened to have a crush on her.. actually, not just crush but I think her best friend which is also a close friend of mine, is in love with her. My twin sister doesn't see feel the same way for him coz' for her, he will always be just a best friend to her, and not more than that. She sees him as a real friend that she can count on, laugh with, etc.. My sister tells me everything so i'm pretty sure she doesn't have feelings for her best friend the way her best friend feels for her. I think it's possible to stay just friends unless you're really meant for each other.
@nicolec (2673)
• United States
3 Apr 07
But it's not considered 'just friends' if he is in love with her. He is looking for more. He wants to be with her. So even though she looks at it as only friends, he does not. So this just proves my point.
@limcyjain (3519)
• India
2 Apr 07
I feel it is very difficult to find a relationship between a man and a woman where their relationship is restricted to friendship only. Sooner or later there is a desire to go a step further in the relationship and it is more likely that the man makes the moves first.
1 person likes this
• Brazil
3 Apr 07
A very difficult decision to make in a man's life, since a step further means more to risk later. So you may end up or having an even closer relationship with someone, having closer ties, or losing one good friend.
@healer (1782)
• India
2 Apr 07
This is a very dangerous situation for you, you might lose your good friend if you could not take proper steps. I have an experience similar to your situation he told me that he is in love with me. I was pretty shocked as he also knows that i have a boyfriend and we use to talk about him a lot also. So, i don't give much attention to the issue but later on i found that i lost him forever and he was my best friend. and i too found out in the end that i was also in love with him, i really miss him but things have changed now. Anyway its upto you, you give sometime to think and see how things will turn out and take a very wise decision. All the best to you
1 person likes this
@nicolec (2673)
• United States
2 Apr 07
Im sorry that happened to you. I have no romantic feelings for this friend. I am not attracted to him. So its very awkward situtation. I don't want to lose him as a friend, but right now that's all he is to me.
• Pakistan
2 Apr 07
no,they can't b coz when they bcome friendz, love obviously comes in thier relation
1 person likes this
@Myrrdin (3601)
• Canada
2 Apr 07
Yes, sure it does, but you can love a friend without being in love with them, heck you can love a friend without even being attracted to them.
@Myrrdin (3601)
• Canada
2 Apr 07
Yes a man and a woman can be just friends. Many of my closest friends are women, and while with some of them passing attractions did occur, I did not act on them and eventually it was replaced with platonic feelings. The best "man" at my wedding was a woman, she was one of my best friends thru highschool, and she was the logical choice at the time. We are still really close and I am great friends with her husband as well. I have two other college friends who are female and we still talk often and we are all still tight, though not as close as we were in college (my ex wife didn't like them), but we are reconnecting. I have no attraction to any of these women. These are long term friendships that are ongoing and will continue to be just friends.
1 person likes this
@nicolec (2673)
• United States
3 Apr 07
So 'attractions' did occur. You may not have acted upon them, but you would have if given the chance. So at one point you were not 'just friends'.
@sarah22 (3980)
• United States
4 Apr 07
for me yes. i have some male friends that i have never had any thing with. they might like me but i have expressed only friendship. so we have always remaind friend. if they wanted more and left after not reciving it, then they where never friends to begin with
1 person likes this
• India
4 Apr 07
I do'nt think that a guy & gal can just be friends as there is some amount of likeness among them & as time passes that likeness growsto an extent that u start to have a romantic interest,in other words they get attracted towards each other. Now it can be one sided or it could be due to being lonely,whatever the reason is the main point is that o boy & a girl can never be friends.
1 person likes this
• India
4 Apr 07
yes they defintiely can be friends only. It all depends on ones attitude towards friendship and life. You can share your joys and sorrows in life with any friend whether it be a male or a female. To be friends, it really needs a lot of undersatnding and clear friendship. you both have to be very clear that you intend to just remain as friends only throughout. Its nice to ahve such friends. Marriage is an essential part of life and friendship is nowhere within the reach of marriage.friends are a must just like marriage but you cannot confuse both in life.
@onabreak2 (1161)
• United States
4 Apr 07
No no no a thousand times no. I have seen this so many times. Men do not ever just want to be friends. Only if they are gay. So you need to get rid of him. He has already let you know he is attracted to you. So if your not to him then you have to tell him. It is sad that it has to be this way. Must be inbred in them.
1 person likes this
@PunkyMcPunk (1477)
• Canada
3 Apr 07
Yes women and men can be friends with nothing more. I have a lot of guy friends. I think really, I only have 2-3 girl friends... There are a few guys that I have been friends with for almost 15 years. We grew up together, we have all of the same interests, we laugh at the same things, listen to the same music, went to the same schools, sometimes worked together... etc... I hvae never felt an attraction to them, that would be too weird. I see them as my older and sometimes younger brothers. There are some people that would try to be your friend because they are attracted to you and truly do want to BE with you. They want to be your friend for alterior motives (to be close to you and to make you see how wonderful they are so that you will fall in love with them.) But this isn't so with all guy/girl friendships.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Apr 07
My first thought is why do men want to be friends with women ... usually its to get closer to you... or to your other friends... unless your really tom-boyish or he's gay where is the common interest, then again I could be completly wrong... I had a male friend before and all we did was hang out... he had a girlfriend and I had a boyfriend... but subliminally i felt if we wanted to there could be something more... thats a hard one...
1 person likes this
• Canada
3 Apr 07
I think a man and a woman can just be friends, at least in my experience. In high school I had many more guy friends than girlfriends. Even now 14 years later I still have guy friends that I hang out with and there is nothing more than that. I hand out at my brothers house alot because hiis wife and I are great friends, his best friend and I have been friends for years and in spite of my parents and his parents thinking we should be together because we have so much in common, there is just no attraction there. And also, another friends boyfriend, he and i are good friends. He and I will sit down and have talks about his relationship with my friend when they are having problems. So yes I think that men and women can have a platonic relationship.
1 person likes this