Should I go back?

I tried reconciling with my ex-wife after we were divorced; granted, we only waited a few months to try versus your 30 years, but there were a lot of the same questions in my head. Ultimately, it didn't work out -- the same problems we always had just cropped up again, and a few things actually got a lot worse. Don't just make your decision to go back to him just based on the urge to be back in the same state you were used to living there. If you *do* move back there, make it clear you're doing it for the place, not for the person. There's a lot of soul-searching involved here, but take your time on it. It's been thirty years, after all; it's not like a few months more will hurt anything. I do think we always keep our bells and whistles, though -- if none are sounding, it may be because you're not as "unsure" as you think you are. Your gut might be telling you something the rest of you isn't ready to hear yet. Either way you decide, good luck with it. If you truly can fix what was broken and build a stronger relationship from it, it could be a great thing for you.

I would just say dont go back just because you are lonely right now. remember they way things were and that he can still be that same person. are you ready to live that life again? if you are at a low point and that is why you are thinking of going back just know that things dont always stay down, you will be happy again. I have went through so much and have been to some low points in life, I was divorced and thought of going back because it is hard out here and hard to be a single mom and hard to just be alone, but things get better. now I am so happy I didnt go back, I left for a reason and I am staying gone. he was a jerk then and he is a jerk now. I dont want to live my life like that anymore. really sit and think and ask yourself what you want to do. do something that you will not regret. make the right choices for you, not just because right now is not a good time..I hope u know what I mean.. good luck & God Bless!!

The only reason to be with someone is that you love them.if it is not based on love, it will fall apart. Always follow your heart and you can't go wrong.If you love your ex and he loves you why not try again. But if you don't love him, don't go back to him. It would send mixed signals.

please be carefull and remember you divorced this man for a reason and the reason may still be therewhy take a chance on having to go through the whole thing over again .I would think long and hard before risking it!

I would suggest that you really think about all of this. Are you only considering going back with him to live someplace that you liked. That is no reason to be tied down in a marriage that you don't want to be in. Thirty years is a long time to get over someone and if you feel that you don't love him, then I certainly would say not to go back. Give this a lot of thought before you make a decision that you might regret in just a few weeks or less, if you two still have a volatile relationship. I hope everything works out for you and I hope you do what is best for you!

hey o donyt denyt wat happens so created.

You really need to sit down and think about all of the pros and cons to moving back. Would it make you happier then where you are at now etc... Don't go bakc just cause you like the area. You need to go back cause you miss him, you still care about him and so on. The most important thing is for you to be happy Don't be the person that justs settles for someone That won't make you haappy in the long run

I wouldn't move back just because I preferred to live there. If you don't feel you're in love with him, don't go back to him. If you do decide to move back there, please don't move in with him unless there are definitely strong feelings for him. It will only make your life miserable once again. I know people can change for the better, so be sure both of you are on the same page before committing to him again. I was divorced 38 years ago yesterday, and it was the best move I ever made. My ex still asks when we're getting back together (we're still in touch because of our two kids, 5 grandkids, and a very nice woman he finally married...on his fifth try at marriage). I remarried 28 years ago, and that was another good thing I did. I truly love my second husband and not my first one, and I could never go back to him...even if we were both free to do so.

yes u should go back to fulfill your life because life is short one which will never come again

Maybe a few visit or trips if you are feeling like going back... to see how if the reason yo udivorced has changed or not, and If that goes alright then try to get into relationship counciling and see how that goes.. if you feel like giving it a chance.. I however personally after going through a divorce and all that hassel, I would never go back.. just for my own safety and security, as I would not want to dive into it being good for a little while, then going through that all over again... - DNatureofDTrain

I don't know only you can decide, if you want to go back home because that is where you really want to be, only some people become very disappointed. If you had a bad relationship then why do you want to even think about it now, you have moved on, and so has he, perhaps you need to continue to live alone independently, and not jump into a relationship, we can make really poor choices when we are lonely or feel we need a relationship - the thing is how much do you want a relationship and at what cost?

I have to disagree with you about feeing the bells and whistles. I have been married for nearly 29 years and my husband still makes me feel as good as he did when we were dating. We have worked hard on our marriage and we never let the love die. We work to keep it feeling strong. We still have a date once a week. No, we dont spend money on it usually. We still enjoy each others company too so yes, you can still have love and happiness in a marriage at any age. As far as your problem, I suggest you pray about it. I know that Heavenly Father wants us to be happy and he does not want us be unhappy. Good luck making your decision and I do hope you find happiness and love.

Maybe there are other things you should consider. Can you get a decent job if you move back there? If you were to move back there, would you move in with him or get your own place? I mean there are just more things to consider when moving. Perhaps consider your own place for awhile and see how that works out. I'd be cautious. You don't need the bells and whistles, but they sure are nice and why cut yourself off from them if you still have the chance to find it with some one else.