I felt unnecessary
By soccermom
@soccermom (3198)
United States
April 2, 2007 8:59pm CST
Does it make sense to feel like your prescense somewhere is unnecessary? My daughter and I had our first soccer practice tonight and I am "assistant" coaching. I arrived first, set everything up, organized uniforms, etc.. When everyone arrived our coach told everyone we were "co coaching" and both equals since he is new to the league and I am an old veteran. This man seemed cool on the phone, but now he is all business. I always tended to joke around with the girls on my team and build a "relationship" the first practice, but not this guy, and it seemed like I wasn't necessary unless it involved extra hairties, hanging on to jewelry, the "girly" stuff. It felt really odd to me, I know I am used to calling the shots, and I really was looking forward to being able to hang back this year, but I felt a little useless. This guy used to coach club soccer, so maybe that's why he is so serious, and I do respect him because he knows his stuff, but I don't want to turn into the "patsy". How would you handle this without being confrontational?
2 people like this
4 responses
@anya11111 (169)
• India
3 Apr 07
make the new coach realize what you are doing and he isn`t! many a times it happens that people brought up with parental negligence tend to prove themselves superior because they are feeling inferior inside. they lack self esteem themselves and they tend to insult others just to make sure they feel superior! talk this out with that person and make sure that he does not make a doormat out of you!
this is necessary or you will loose your own self esteem!
1 person likes this
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
3 Apr 07
I don't want him to think I don't like him, he's very skilled and I think the girls will learn a lot from him. But on the other hand, they're girls! They like to have a good time and I think with the group of girls we have this year (they are all so different)it would be good to do some "teambuilding" type things before jumping into these brutal practices. The girls are between 11 and 12 years old and at this age they get "cliquey" fast. I could see it starting already. I guess I will have to sit down and talk to him if this season is going to work, and I don't end up bitter.
@samtaylorskykierajen (7976)
• Canada
3 Apr 07
What about telling him just that , that you do respect him and that you know he knows his stuff but that you have found that sometimes just joking around makes for a good team also and that you are not trying to tell him how he should do it but that you were only trying to add what you have found has worked in the past and see if this makes a difference . It won't be much fun for you if you feel that you are just someone who is there to hold hairties and hanging on to things for the girls .
Best of luck with this decision :)
1 person likes this
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
3 Apr 07
You're right sam. I guess part of my deal is that this is not club soccer, it's AYSO, and the girls are here to learn, have fun and make new friends. This coach comes from a club and is used to a certain level of seriousness. Thanks for your response! :)
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
3 Apr 07
oh oh I would have to confront him thats just me.
Maybe instead of phone you need to get together with him before next came and say Hey I thought we were co couches why is it that I took care of all the girkie stuff I am not used to this I get friendly with the girlas then we work well together . How does that sound?
1 person likes this
@princeworthy (1909)
• United States
4 Apr 07
Well I would tell him what you are feeling. Tell him you are feeling a little useless, tell him you don't want to step on his toes but you would like some added responsibilities. I am sure that he will be happy to give you some other tasks. I would also let him know how you have bonded with the girls in the past and how it has made for a great season. I hope this helps you out hon. Good luck!
