New limited-edition missoula barbies.
By taiguy
@taiguy (478)
United States
April 3, 2007 12:19pm CST
Mattel recently announced the release of the improved limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Missoula-area Market:"Mansion-Heights Barbie"This princess Barbie is sold only at Southgate Mall. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbangs, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Work-a-holic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version."Linda Vista Barbie"The modern-day homermaker Barbie is avialable with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately."Northside Barbie"This recently-paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only avialable after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills), unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about."Rattlesnake Barbie"This yuppie barbie comes with you choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them."Frenchtown Barbie"This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tatto on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free."East Missoula Barbie"This tabacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Easy Missoula Barbie's house. Her ensumble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home."U of M Barbie"This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She perfers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two U of M Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free."South Hills Barbie"This barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were avialable, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.
2 responses
@alen0224 (527)
• China
4 Apr 07
An 80 years old couple were having troubles remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.
When they arrived at the doctors, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memories. After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things.
The couple thankded the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the man got up from his chair and his wife asked," Where are you going?" He replied," To the kitchen." She asked," Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" He replied," Sure." She then asked him," Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" He said," No, I can remember that."
She then said," Well, I would also like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down because I know you'll foget that." He said," I can remmeber that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." She replied," Well, I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down."
With irritation in his voice, he said," I don't need to write that down! I can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said angrily:" I've told you to write it down! You fogot my toast!"
@liveonlove (350)
• India
4 Apr 07
For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers.
The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier than light.
First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room.
So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Sucker.
A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range.
There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again.
Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating candle.
