Time out Technique?

Try the time out technique on your husband and see if that works!Seriously!BE FIRM ABOUT IT and refuse to give in... Once he sees, also - that you are firmly set - and that his interests are BLOCKED EFFECTIVELY by you setting a ROCK SOLID BOUNDARY with him about something... He might finally come to the conclusion that the technique will be useful and effective for your children, that you and he must work co-operatively with each other, and mostly - it will firmly set a new requirement in your home where you are allotted some consideration for your efforts and for just setting boundaries. You could do a 'TIME OUT' where you just ask him to give you some 'space' some time apart from a discussion or something that is not going well or coming to any conclusion. Give him an alternative that you will ENFORCE, should he make the 'time out' a difficult or impossible gesture...(much like he makes your authority with your children - minimized - by not working with you)...and then FOLLOW THROUGH NO MATTER WHAT. Example - "I am enforcing a 'time out' here with this discussion - please go to another room and allow me some space (or 'please stop talking about this' and remain in the same space, if possible) for at least 1 hour - this discussion is OVER. If this is too much for you and you don't have enough respect for me to do this, my alternative, because it is the DISCUSSION that is OVER - is going to be that I will leave the house in order to have my needs met - discussion OVER"And make your plans to leave the house if necessary to ensure that the discussion ENDS by your terms, which are REASONABLE - especially if you were engaged in a discussion that was going around in circles and not coming to conclusions or any compromised ends. You might have to do this several times, but it has worked for me with some room-mates I've had in the past who are the type that enjoy arguing, extending fight-conversations, and controlling the environment in passive-aggressive ways. THe 'time out' might not exactly be the same as with kids, but the first thing people often need to teach their significant others is that they WILL NOT BE WALKED ON and disrespected. You have probably taught your husband that it's PERMISSIBLE for him to act the way he does in by-passing your rules for the children. You can teach him they way you want to be treated now. Once he has some respect for you and allows boundaries to be made, maybe he will be more helpful with concerns surrounding the disciplining of your children. BTW I outlined an 'activity' detail instead of a 'space' detail for this example because I realize that you can't exactly tell a grown man where to go in his own house lol The issue isn't the 'where' - it's the behavior and lack of respect for boundaries and rules... Tell him you're re-setting the rules because the current rules in the home aren't working. He should be perfectly able to deal with that statement - you're not calling anyone or anything wrong...you're just re-grouping. Re-group the boundaries with him first, if you can. Your kids may not ever listen to you in a really respectful way while they watch your husband act disrespectfully toward you.

Yeah I think you both have to be on the same page for it to work. If the kid knows that one parent is gonna let them do whatever, than the other parent doesn't have the chance. If your husband doesn't like the technique, then you two should really sit down and come up with a punishment that you are both willing to enforce. The important thing isn't the punishment, it's the fact that you stick together that will make it work. Good luck!!

The only way time-out is going to work is if you and your husband are both using it. Consistancy is the key here. Sounds like you need Super Nanny for your husband since he's the one that is giving you trouble as well.