Wanting another child so badly

United States
April 4, 2007 1:25pm CST
I had some complications during my pregnancy with my firstborn, and he ended up being born six weeks premature. My second pregnancy had to be ended (via surgery) very early on, as it turned out to be ectopic. I have just one fallopian tube now, since they had to remove the affected one during my surgery. Also, my boyfriend has his mind set on having no desire to have another child, ever. Not to mention the fact that we probably would be able to afford another child at this time in our lives. Despite all of these facts, I still want another child. I want to feel what it's like to be pregnant again. I want to hold my own newborn in my arms. It's only been about five months since I lost my second pregnancy, so perhaps these feelings are just my way of mourning my lost child. Or perhaps it's because I would still be pregnant right now if the pregnancy hadn't been ectopic. I was due in mid-July this year. It doesn't help that a very close friend of mine just gave birth less than a week ago. Don't get me wrong, I'm SO happy for her, I really am. However, I just feel cheated in a way. OK, this was originally going to be about wanting another child, and now it's just turned into a pity-me post about losing my child. I'm sorry. But sometimes writing (typing) it out helps. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
3 responses
@maximax8 (30105)
• United Kingdom
4 Apr 07
I can understand your need for another child. I am so sorry about your loss. I think your boyfriend may still be in stock after your ecoptic pregnancy. He might decide he does want another child in the future. I wish you luck. Many people feel they have a problem having a child and yet they still manage this. I know one lady. She tied to get pregnant for ten years. Then she had IVF, resulting in triplet boys.
• United States
4 Apr 07
Thank you for your reply and your genuine concern. My boyfriend actually didn't want anymore children after our first. Both of my pregnancies were actually unplanned. Hopefully he'll change his mind in the future, though, because I don't know whether I can stave off my dream of having another baby forever.
@Gemmygirl1 (2868)
• Australia
5 Apr 07
Wow, i dunnow hat to say. I feel really bad about the ectopic pregnancy, they're always sad to hear about & it's ok for you to feel cheated & depressed about it. I'm sure you're not the only one to feel this way. I think you might wanna sit down with your boyfriend & find out why he doesn't want any more, i mean, my mum always said, the woman has a clock in there that basically stops ticking when her body feels she's had enough. Maybe you could explain that you feel as though another would be wonderful & that you'd like your son to have a baby brother or sister to grow up with - it might change his mind! My partner always wanted 2, i was the same but now that we have 1 he doesn't want any more & i want 3 - LOL - you just have to chat about it i think & see if you can get him to understand what you're feeling! I wish you well - Good Luck :)
@TeeandMe (104)
• United States
5 Apr 07
If having another baby is what you want.. then shoot for it. Try to help convince your BF that this is what he wants.. lol NO i'm kidding.. but I'm sure he will decide later on that he wants another baby. Maybe it is just too soon for him after loosing a baby to actually want to try again!