wat if after marriage u cm to knowthat ur partner is impotent for reproduction?

India
April 5, 2007 3:56am CST
it happens many a times...after marriage we come to know that our partner is incapable of reproducing...should we get divorced and marry someone else??will this be fair??or should we continue without a child??or should we think about adopting a child??should the desire to have our own child be strong enough that we should merry someone else...come up with ur insights n suggestions..also share ur experiences(if any)
9 responses
@derek_a (10874)
5 Apr 07
I cannot judge on this really, because I have been married before. We just split up for other reasons. At the time I blamed myself for leaving, but that is futile. All I was doing was making myself miserable, but what can you do when there is no love? I eventually forgave myself and became good friends with my ex. It is easy for me to say, that I would not leave a partner if she was infertile. Love would stop me doing that and if I stopped loving a partner because she was infertile, then I don't think I would have loved her in the first place. I would have been more in love with the idea of having good kids and nice home etc. If children were an issue, yes we could discuss and adopt, or continue just the two of us. Personally I see it as karma and it is karma that we learn our life lessons from, and running away from a relationship because it doesn't meet up with our expectations is a sort of escape from what we have promised to do. As I say, it is very very easy for me to say this, because I am seeing it from my point of view, from my karma. I have made my mistakes and rectified them, but I believe that each of us has to go through our own version of conflict and create our own answers..
• India
5 Apr 07
nice way to put it derek...u have shared ur years of experience for us....
@melman (129)
• United States
8 Apr 07
umm..........ya
@mrsturner (518)
• Canada
5 Apr 07
I think that no one should get divorced because of being incapable of reproducing. There are other ways to get children such as surrogacy and adoption. After all, did your partner marry you or did he marry your ovaries. Or if it's the man that's infertile then did you marry him just for his sperm. There should be so much more to a relationship than that.
@KissThis (3003)
• United States
8 Apr 07
For me this is an easy question. I will be getting married later this year. I have already adopted two children and gave birth to a child. He has two sons from a previous relationship. In our eyes we have a large enough family and don't want anymore.
@jmathen (112)
• India
5 Apr 07
I dont think you should divorce just because your partner is impotent. Having a child should be part of your life and come out of the loving, commited relationship between two people ! They can continue the relation without having a child, if both are happy and satisfied with their lives! If a child needed so badly, then there is always an option of adoption... Again, In todays'world many other options you may consider...Technology has grown so much ! I believe if you love your partner deep from the heart, you wont walk out over such a reason... you will definitely find a way to work out things !
@melman (129)
• United States
8 Apr 07
umm..........ya
• Canada
5 Apr 07
Nothing for me to worry about, since I really don't plan on giving birth to my own children. I've decided that if I want to have children one day, I will give a home to a child who has already been born, perhaps adopting from Russia or Ukraine.
@krayzee (1160)
• Romania
5 Apr 07
The ideal thing would be either adopting or, if the one who can have children really wants some of its own they could try in vitro fertilisation. For everything there's a solution in a couple as long as there's love and understanding :)
@SRK2DON (37)
• India
5 Apr 07
Naaa cmon be human if u divorce simply bcoz ur partner is infertile,then u aint human.We all know that there are no dearth of orphanages from where u can adopt children.Of course it is sad for the other person but somethings can't change right.Accepting ur problems of life will solve many riddles in real life.