Holding on to Old Friendships, Is It Healthy?
By MsJessi
@MsJessi (423)
United States
April 6, 2007 1:19pm CST
Do you have old friends that you barely talk to and only talk to a couple times a year? I know I do. And I'm not quite sure why? Is it because, being the type of person that I am, I feel like I am unable to cut ties with all the people that have been/were a part of my life at one point or another? I mean, I have a few friends that I know will always be in my life. But there are others that come and go and go MIA for years and then pop back up and act like everything's perfect. But then again, I've sort of done the same thing. Life takes us through so many different paths and sometimes we lose touch with the people that we care about, and then when given the chance to reconnect, it's just not the same. I spent years searching for my long lost best friend from childhood. And the whole time I had always imagined things would pick right back up where we left off, but when I finally found her, that wasn't the case. Life had dragged her through so many traumas in her life, that she has become a different person entirely. And trying to connect with her is almost impossible because she never has the time to talk and when she does, it's hurried.
I also have those friends, that were good friends at one point, but are now more like acquaintances. But we still talk from time to time, even tho it seems we have nothing in common anymore. Life is so weird sometimes.
6 responses
@natrlvr2 (383)
• United States
7 Apr 07
I have friends who have been in my life for 35-43 yrs.(I am going to be 48 in a couple weeks)Each friend can be on a different level of friendship but that doesn't mean I am still not their friend.Does that make any sense?
People do change and I accept it.I also have friends who I only talk to about certain things.(not all can be trusted to tell them everything,but they still are my friends)My very first friend of my life(we were neighbors when we were little and my first memory of her was when we were 4)is still my friend but we usually only talk or write a letter once a yr.(and she only lives 10 miles away).We are both two different people now but even though our lives are not the same,when we talk it's like we just talked the day before.
Then there are friends who only think of themselves and are too rushed to even 'connect'.I am still friends but on a different level.I do not go out of my way for them the same as I would for my other friends.
1 person likes this
@MsJessi (423)
• United States
7 Apr 07
Yea I understand that. I have friends like some of the above as well. I guess I just think that sometimes friendship can be more work than it seems to be worth, especially when you're doing the work alone.
Kinda like a marriage that only one of the individuals try to work on. Doesn't get very far.
Thanks!
@prada4389 (12)
• Nepal
6 Apr 07
Well, you exactly do not have to hold it up. you just have to let your friend to live her/his life. but if you really want them then, you should be trying to talk with them by not just sitting with them, but also by mailing them reminding the fun times you used to have. i think you should not be pulling or pushing. but talking and writing them, sometimes, make both of you happier.
i also have an old best friend. we get very few chance to talk with each other. and when we finished our talk we feel great. we talk 4-5 times a year, but we mail each other from time to time, two mail a month. but still we are very good friends. we can rely on each other. if any of us are in need. so it is not that hard to hold on to your old friends, if you really want.
1 person likes this
@raheel07 (485)
• Pakistan
6 Apr 07
You don't have to cut ties. Just maintain them. You should meet them once in a while and enjoy the time. I love my school friends. I know they are not like with me everyday but whenever I meet them, I remember those old memories and cherish them.
@princeworthy (1909)
• United States
8 Apr 07
I do have friends that I am holding on to from the past. I have a old best friend that just keeps on writing to me. We really don't have anything in common anymore and we never see each other. I don't know why we still write each other but we do.
