Does It Drive You Nuts When Your Other Half Can't Decide?
By sunshinelady
@sunshinelady (7609)
United States
April 6, 2007 7:53pm CST
The circumstance is that my son had asked me when we would take the grandkids again overnight. We go to Kentucky quite often since that is where my husband is from. I mentioned to my son that I would talk to his dad and see if we were going the weekend of the 13th April. I talked to his dad and all he would say is that is a possibility. It drives me up the wall because this is how he answers me all the time. If it was just me than I wouldn't care. I am flexable. But my son needs to know a better answer than that. He and his wife make specific plans when we are taking the kids for the weekends. They do extra special things for each other on those weekends. They enjoy each others company even more and reafform their deep love for each other. They have three children and this is a time for them to be alone. It amazes me I can't get a better answer out of my husband than that.
2 people like this
5 responses
@gberlin (3836)
•
7 Apr 07
I have learned that I just make the decision. If I ask my wife and she says she doesn't know or that it is a possibility then I make the decision. It doesn't make sense to dilly dally around and wait forever. You should make the decision. Then if your husband doesn't like it then maybe he will start making the decisions.
1 person likes this
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
9 Apr 07
I was on the phone with my son and he was saying that dad couldn't decide that he thought maybe I could take the kids the following weekend. I told him to hold on a minute that his dad was on the couch. I held the phone against me and asked my husband if we were going to kentucky or not this weekend. That his son was on the phone and needed to know so he and his wife could make plans if we were taking the kids. He just kinda looked at me and I mentioned since they make plans that they need to know one way or the other. He said in a really gruff voice, no, we're not going. I told my son. So at least that was settled. If it was just me I wouldn't care. I have realized after 34 years of marriage this is how he is. It bothers me when it comes to our son and his wife because they do make plans and do something special when we have the kids. They have three children and they need this time together by themselves. My husband and I have had this discussion before about him not wanting to make plans ahead of time. For some things this is fine but for others you have to make ahead of time plans. He still doesn't agree with me so most of the time I just wait and see what he wants to do. My sister told me it would drive her crazy. I told her it does me on the case of my son and his wife but the other things I have just learned to accept this is the way he is.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
7 Apr 07
I acyually know of a lot of Men that are like that
I mean like the ones I used to work with always gave that answer, Friends Husbands do I think some Men find it hard to to commit themselves to something as they know once they do they can not get out of it
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
7 Apr 07
That is a very irritating treat. Generally I just shrug it off but when it involves my son and his wife being able to make plans based on whether we are taking the kids overnight I get very irritated. It is not just me he is not making a commitment to but also our son and his wife. This is very special time for the two of them and I do think it is not fair for them. Thank you for your response,gabs8513.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
7 Apr 07
I don't blame you,
with me it is over restaurants, mine will say where do you want to eat, I will say it doesn't matter what do you feel like eating he will say I am fine its up to you,
then I will say okay let's go here, he will say or we could go to there,
then I say if you want to go there it is fine with me I said I was fine either way, he will say no now we will go here.
Alright then its decided, we get on our way to here, and he says you know if we go there it will be cheaper, and then I lose my cool, and say no we are going here and that is final.
1 person likes this
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
7 Apr 07
That would drive me up the wall also. If they don't like a place or feel another place would be cheaper than just speak up. Don't leave it up to the other person and then say that they don't agree with that and would rather do something else or go somewhere else. That has me pulling my hair out.
@vashstampede992000 (2560)
• Philippines
7 Apr 07
Well yeah sometimes it is happening on me also.
I really can't decide for something because i am also considering other things and what would be the outcome if ill pursue that.
But then, at the end, i'll just be responsible for it and do things that i really like to do.
You just have to be responsible and don't be scared to do what you want as long as you are not doing anything wrong.
Cheers and have a nice day ahead from Francis.
1 person likes this
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
7 Apr 07
A Happy Easter to you. This is something that my husband does all the time. If it was once in awhile it would not be so bad. But all the time is a totally different story. Especially when it involves my son and his wife being able to make some kind of plans.
Thanks for your response.
@natalie1981 (1995)
• Singapore
7 Apr 07
I feel for you. It drives me crazy when my boyfriend can't make a firm decision. It's because I don't want to appear domineering or the one who wears the pants in our relationship so I really hate it when I want him to make a decision and he always throws the question back at me. I know he's just trying to be thoughtful and he wants to appear agreeable with me but honestly, all I want to do is scream....AAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
1 person likes this
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
7 Apr 07
To me it is a case of courtsey for my son and his wife. I don't think it is asking to much of my husband to give me a definite answer so I can let my son know so they can plan accordingly. I am like you said--AAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!
