How honest are you with your close friends?

@vega83 (6345)
Bahrain
April 7, 2007 7:57am CST
Tell me the answers to these questions and we'd know. Would you tell your friend if they have a body odor problem? If so, how would you go about it? Would you be subtle and give them hints, or go out together and buy deodorants or tell then straightaway? How about if they got a bad haircut? Would you tell them the truth, or just lie to spare their feelings. I believe that a good friend wants good things for their friends and honesty is always the best, if you tell your friend about something that they need to change or something that they can improve on, would you do it and do it directly or would you rather stay away from all that?
2 people like this
19 responses
@Dumpertaker (1188)
9 Apr 07
I believe you should be 110% honest with friends no matter what, and if I know something that they should know then they will be told...and I know most of my friends would treat me the same.
1 person likes this
@vega83 (6345)
• Bahrain
9 Apr 07
Yeah, that's how all friends and all friendships should be like, no doubt.
10 Apr 07
I'd be really upset if I was not able to tell a friend the truth, it is just so wrong....I have been in a situation before where I could not tell the truth because of the repercussions it would have caused, and it was absolute hell....but in the end I still told the truth anyways. As for my friends telling me the truth, I respect people more if they can tell it as it is. The truth may huirt sometimes, but it is for the best in the end.
1 person likes this
@vega83 (6345)
• Bahrain
28 Apr 07
Yeah, sometimes being untruthful can be harder than being honest, not to mention the restlessness and uneasiness that comes with it. It's just too much. I try to always be honest. And appreciate receiving total honesty in return as well. There is no question of getting offended by honesty.
@ackars (1942)
• India
7 Apr 07
Im 99percentage honest...I dont know if Im not honest to them somewhere..But I think Im totally honest atleast to my close friends.One percent error is good everywhere for the better stability...
@vega83 (6345)
• Bahrain
7 Apr 07
hmm.... 99% is not bad at all, but where does that 1% percent error come in, I mean where exactly is it that you are unable to be completely honest with them?
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
7 Apr 07
well, noone's perfet i guess? but i say, 99% is already very great!
1 person likes this
@vega83 (6345)
• Bahrain
8 Apr 07
yeah, 99% is not bad at all, in fact it's too good, suspiciously good, I was just curious what falls under that 1% margin.
@aissha (2036)
• India
10 Apr 07
hi vega ,actuallyi can't lie even to wall ,difficult ,but some truths are not good and by telling i've been out of good books for a while ,but when people realise that i was not bad and not thinking of then in some bad light they get back to me and till that time i remain with me and my other friends.
1 person likes this
@vega83 (6345)
• Bahrain
10 Apr 07
Well, that's great that you're not afraid to be on someone's hate list, because you're looking out for them, and that's right, eventually people do realize that by being brutally honest, you were actually doing them some good.
@sukumar794 (5047)
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
10 Apr 07
I would say to the extent possible I behave in a very host way to my friends. However,at times it is disheartening to learn that the honesty that we bestow on somebody is not responded in the same token.It is dishonesty that we get back in return. don't you feel so at least in some situations?
@vega83 (6345)
• Bahrain
10 Apr 07
well, fortunately I've never had that happen to me, but even if it did, it wouldn't still stop me from being honest to my friends, hopefully not.
@lols189 (4797)
8 Apr 07
yes if my friends are really close to me then i would tell them everything. why not? i suppose they would tell me about their problems too
1 person likes this
@vega83 (6345)
• Bahrain
8 Apr 07
well, of course all friends do that but I'm not talking about sharing that kind of stuff, it's more like embarrassing stuff that you have a conflict within yourself whether you should tell them or not, because it might be something that might hurt them but still would be good for them, in the long run. And how would you put it, how would you choose your words for something like that?
8 Apr 07
i would definatly tell my close friends if they had a body odour problem and they'd thank me too but then again im not sure how id take it if one of my close friends told me the same!!
1 person likes this
@vega83 (6345)
• Bahrain
8 Apr 07
I guess that would be weird, but hey at least if your friend tells you, you can do something about it, and then you won't have to be more embarrassed knowing that other people can smell you too. It would be good to know so that you can solve that problem.
@cutygirl (576)
• India
8 Apr 07
I am 100% honest with my friends, you can see from my discussion I never hide anything from anyone
1 person likes this
@vega83 (6345)
• Bahrain
8 Apr 07
well, I haven't seen any of your discussions but I'll take your word for it.
@yeenee (134)
• Malaysia
8 Apr 07
For me it's depend on how a person or friend would react if you would like to tell him or her the truth. Sometimes the truth always hurt but maybe it wouldn't if we use the different way to let them know. I will indirectly let them know instead of directly going to tell the truth.
1 person likes this
@vega83 (6345)
• Bahrain
8 Apr 07
Well, personally hearing the truth has never hurt me, and I think sometimes we don't give people enough credit and think that they can't take the honesty. Well, there's only one way to find out if they can take it or not.
• China
8 Apr 07
I am honest,but I don't like speeking,even my friend.Sometimes I want to say what i think very much,but when i stand thier faces,i conceel it,thoug they are worthing bilieve.
1 person likes this
@vega83 (6345)
• Bahrain
8 Apr 07
Well, I think you should give frankness another try, I think it's a quality that people appreciate and they would definitely come to you then if they really want to honestly hear something. I like honest people myself, even if what they say is not exactly what i wanted to hear, that's the whole point, that's how a person can better themselves.
@lifetalk (681)
• Pakistan
7 Apr 07
Well, if you are talking about really close and great friends, then i'll say. I am really honest with my best friends. SInce they are really close to me, and i would always want the best for them, even if this means embarassment in front of me. I mean, the embarassment right now (which does not matter much, since i understand them), could be better, and will save them from any future chanced embarassments in the public (going by the deodrant example). I mean, that is just an example, and if we think about it, being honest is probably best for them, and us!
1 person likes this
@vega83 (6345)
• Bahrain
8 Apr 07
yup, totally agree with you, being embarrassed for a while in front of your best friend is definitely better than embarrassment on a bigger scale, plus I guess that's what makes best friends, the fact that you've seen each other at your worst, and been embarrassed in front of each other, it breaks down all formal barriers.
@steney (1418)
• Philippines
7 Apr 07
If my friend has an odor problem, I would be honest about it and will tell her right away. The only way to go about it to say it point blank, because if I resort to giving hints she might not get what I'm driving at. I don't think she will be hurt by the act because as a good and true friend, I am doing it out of concern and not to humiliate her in any way. I don't lie about a bad haircut. I'd rather be the first to tell her so she can do something about it. Honesty is very important in a friendship. I know my friends would appreciate my honesty about these things and would not look at it another way as I would like to get the same honesty from them.
@vega83 (6345)
• Bahrain
8 Apr 07
I guess that is the best way to do it. Plus the hint system can backfire, your friend might think that you're hinting that you have a problem with their BO, when actually you were just trying to tell them so that other people don't notice it.
• India
7 Apr 07
truly honest i m really honest to them
1 person likes this
@vega83 (6345)
• Bahrain
8 Apr 07
that's great, and you're also a man of a few words, so you must be right on the dot with your comments, at least you'll have to be.
• United States
7 Apr 07
I try to be very honest with anyone that I really care about. Sometimes, I have to find ways to be tactful, but I believe even if what I have to say hurts a little bit, it could hurt a lot more coming from someone else or finding out that I lied to them. It is too hard to find good firends, to mess it up with liing.
@vega83 (6345)
• Bahrain
8 Apr 07
yeah, and the initial hurt always stays for a very short time and then people realize that what you said was for their own good, and that's nice.
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
7 Apr 07
i only have two close friends up to now. and being close for many years now, we can truly be brutally honest with each other. sometimes we even just laugh about it. i say, it's better to tell your friends the truth. i think most truths hurt. it's part of the process. if you want honesty, then get ready to be hurt. if you want to be pleased all the time, then be ready to hear lies. i am glad that i can be totally honest with these two close friends of mine. they hear what i say and they say what they should say as well.
1 person likes this
@vega83 (6345)
• Bahrain
8 Apr 07
yeah, the closeness is nice, plus you'll be a good friend if it's you who tells them up front if something is wrong rather than them hearing it from somewhere else or becoming a joke because they don't know, I also have some close friends, three to be exact who I can say almost anything to. And about the rest of the friends, well let's just say that I'm downright honest with them too, which is why they are constantly surprised by me.
@sunshine4 (8708)
• United States
7 Apr 07
I would be honest with my friends, but in a gentle way. I would not want to hurt their feelings in any way. With the hair cut thing, I would definitely come right out and say they need to get it fixed. With the bo thing, I don't know how i would handle that. luckily i have never had to.
1 person likes this
@vega83 (6345)
• Bahrain
8 Apr 07
yeah, the haircut is always easy because it can either be fixed or it will grown out, but the BO is the tricky one, how to go about it, that's difficult, so if you were in that situation, just think about what you would do, and maybe share it with us....
@hoghoney (3749)
• United States
7 Apr 07
oh yes my friends we dont have a problem telling each other if we stink I will flat out tell them and they will tell me and a bad haircut yep we will tell each other about that also. we really dont hold anything back from each other about things or how we look, smell or do anything.
1 person likes this
@vega83 (6345)
• Bahrain
8 Apr 07
yeah, I like this kind of friendship, total honesty, that's how I try to be with my friends too, although about the smell thing, I can't bring myself to be that forward, although I do try to hint at it. But now, I've found new courage after this discussion to be more honest about that part.
@lpetges (3036)
• United States
7 Apr 07
as a hair stylist, i am very honest with my clients, if they come in and want something i know they can not redo the same way i made it look, or how it looks in the book-i tell them exactly what will not work for them. i also tell them when they should do something different, try something new if they are willing. most of my clients are my friends, and outside of work, i try and maintain an honest relationship with them. i would never directly hurt their feelings about something,. we might joke about what tastes we have in styles or clothing, but nothing taken to heart.
1 person likes this
@vega83 (6345)
• Bahrain
8 Apr 07
hmm... that's nice, I think it's very important for a hair stylist to be completely honest, even when the hair hasn't turned out that well, at least something can be done about it then and there, if they're honest and frank about how it really looks. That's nice, wish I had a hair stylist like yours.
@usama46 (863)
• Pakistan
7 Apr 07
i am very honest with my friends i do my best with my friends
1 person likes this
@vega83 (6345)
• Bahrain
7 Apr 07
ok, got it, but what about my questions above, what would you do in those situations and how would you handle those, like telling them if they stink or something, how would you tell them that?
• Philippines
7 Apr 07
If you're a true friend of course you will have an open relationship with friends so you'll tell them as honestly as you can before other people will do so. You have to break it gently with them and tell them that you are just being honest cause you're concerned about them but as direct as possible..
@vega83 (6345)
• Bahrain
7 Apr 07
Yes I think you've said something really significant here, that it's better if your friends find out something from you than from strangers, and I do agree with the whole gentle thing, but this is very important, so that they know that you have their back, and they won't have to come and ask you 'why you didn't tell them this before. You know what i mean....???