On forgiving oneself
April 9, 2007 8:53am CST
There may be instances in our lives wherein we blame ourselves and feel guilty about something. A lot of us unknowlingly punishes ourselves because we have not actually forgiven ourselves for something that we have done. I have been in similar situation and it took me really long to come to grips with my guilt and learn to forgive myself. How can one start forgiving oneself? As for me, I started forgiving myself when I started to acknowledge that I am responsible for my life and that I have the right to choose. I have the right to be happy and put my life in order. I blamed myself because with my decision I am depriving my children with a father or an intact family that they can be proud of. It really made me feel guilty that after the separation I felt happy and I think my husband felt miserable. I have to really realize that each of us is the one who makes something out of our lives and that if we are miserable, it is of our own doing. IN forgiving myself, I have to learn to love myself first again and in doing so, made me more capable of loving and taking care of my children.
• Lincoln, Nebraska
10 Apr 07
I think that many of us find it more easy to forgive others of their sins, errors or mistakes than we forgive ourselves. I personally have no trouble forgiving others but often blame myself when something goes wrong. My advice to myself would be to lighten up. We can only start moving ahead and making changes in any area of our life when we learn to forgive ourselves.
• United States
9 Apr 07
Yes, basically the process involved in forgiving one's self is to acknowledge one's faults, evaluate the situation (for example, the people involved and the ones hurting due to a mistake committed), figure out ways to ease or solve the problem (asking to be forgiven could also help), and to commit one's self to never make the same mistake again. In the process, the person has already forgiven himself/herself, and has closed the doors to the cause of the problem, thereby opening the doors to solutions. Once the problem is being solved at, that person would better appreciate himself/herself, hence loving one's self more. This love radiates towards others consequently. Happy myLotting!