Is it possible to love someone without being possessive?

Not in the sense that 99% of people mean it, which is in the sense of ... "I love you-let's get married-lets have a big wedding-with ice sculptures-lets have a baby-oh isn't she precious!-God I can't get any sleep with that thing crying!-what do you mean I have to work two jobs?-braces are how much?!?-you're not leaving this house wearing that!-we'll have to refinance the house again to pay for college-what do you mean you're leaving me for your %$%^%$# secretary! kind of love ... No, for those such as these, it's not possible.

Yes, I think it is very much possible to love someone without being possessive. In a "secure" love, there is no need for possession, or feelings of needing to possess. I'm not saying that YOU are necessarily insecure, just that where there is something insecure in the relationship, that's when the need to possess seems to come up. It could be the result of one or both partners' behavior patterns, or it could be that one or the other partner (or BOTH) have insecure attachment issues. When these feelings come up, we often have to look at ourselves, and try to figure out WHAT makes us feel the way we do. You say you want to "be together all the time" with your husband... so there must be some negative feelings for you, when you are NOT together. Do you know what these feelings are, and where they come from? Has something happened in your past, that is now showing up? It could even be something you saw as an example in your parents.

being too possesive is not healthy, each partner is a part of a couple but also needs time alone to do the things the other partner doesn't like or just to have a breathing space. there is a an expression that says a bird in a cage will never sing, because he is a captive and not free, another expression if you love him set him free. If he loves you he will come back.

Yes I believe being possessive can damage a relationship, well in my marriage we are not like this with each other and my youngest daughter is in a new relationship, she is not possessive but her new boyfriend is very possessive and wants her to be with him all the time apart from when she is working;.

Yes, it is normal. But it's not healthy to be overly too possessive to your hubby. It might provoke him to leave you or you might choke him too much. He'll think that you're not giving him the freedom that he also deserves. Trust and honesty is important. If you become too possessive, it's like you're already telling him that you don't trust him. For us women, being too possessive is one of our problems and we have to deal with it. We become too insecure or sometimes jealous over other women and we think that we're less better than others when in fact guys doesn't see us any less. Work on it, dear ;)

being possessive is normal but just dont overdo it.sometimes if he wants to go out with friends alone then let him go.proper alone time is essential in a relationship.

Being that a person may be possessive, it simply means that person needs to examine himself/herself and find out what is the root of that insecurity. Being overly possessive of another person can often cause that person to want to leave. Being controlling can get extremely bothersome. The possesive person may find themselves being left more often than someone that would just dare to trust their mate.

Possessiveness in your case is a sign of insecurity. Communicate that to your significant other and they might be able to reassure you. Realizing what that is, look at the ways the other acts and realize that they are there for you. Communication can solve alot of things. Good luck with this. If it is love there is also freedom.

What is the old saying "if you love something set it free if it comes back to you it's your if it doesn't it never was". I really believe this to be very true

I think being possessive is just another sign that you really care or love your partner. However, as they say,too much of anything is not good. As so in a relationship,being TOO possessive can hurt or damage a relationship because this may cause your partner to think that you dont trust him or that he may feel choked in your relationship. Be possessive but learn to trust and respect your partner--respect what he wants,give him time for his personal space.

I suppose that there is a certain amount of possessiveness in us all. But we do have to respect and be willing to let them have time on their own, Can you even begin to imagine it if your hubby was with you 24/7, I think you would be looking for a bit of breathing space. Also the old saying absence makes the heart grow fonder is true. Respect each others boundaries. This is not a trust issue it is letting your hubby be his self. and that is who you married, Don't try to change him

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. If you have sound, perfect love for another individual then it is able to love without being possessive. The need to be possessive is grounded in fear - fear of your own insecurities, fear that the person will leave you, lack of trust or being able to trust someone else with your heart, afraid of being hurt again, etc. Being that a person may be possessive, it simply means that person needs to examine himself/herself and find out what is the root of that insecurity. Being overly possessive of another person can often cause that person to want to leave. Being controlling can get extremely bothersome. The possesive person may find themselves being left more often than someone that would just dare to trust their mate. All in all, it is absolutely possible. Nevertheless, if one finds themselves to be a possessive person, this may take a bit of work to trust, but if you are in a relationship with the right person it should not be as difficult to let go and believe. Best,

Yeah, I kinda agree with you, possessiveness for your some one you loved deeply is a very obvious behaviour you have.....but the most important for us is to balance it in a manner that it doesnt start any kind of problem between the two because of so much possessiveness.....Until and unless everythig is balanced in our life, possessiveness is also a kind of true luv towards our loved ones.....Happy myLotting!!!!!

Being possessive in any relation is a normal phenomena , but what matters is the degree of possessiveness that you possess for a relation . Possessiveness may result out of feeling of insecurity , or fear of loosing someone or circumstances etc. Being under possessive might result into an undue freedom and over possessive might end up into a disturbed and broken relationship . So what is required is that you understand the needs of you and your partner and then decide what is healthy for your relationship and the degree of possessiveness required....!!!!! So think over this point , this may help you.... best of luck... !!!!!

i used to be a possessive girlfriend back then. and most of my relationships never end up well. maybe i had my own reasons... but it still all comes up to me not having trust for myself... me having some insecurities... being scared that my boyfriend might find someone new and just leave me one day. i admit, i had cheating boyfriends before and i really got hurt many times. and yet, i admit, i was really possessive back then. but now with my boyfriend for a year now, i've learned to trust him and trust myself, too. i love him and love myself as well. my insecurities are gone because my boyfriend helped me erase all those negative thoughts i had back then. i learned to trust, to love and i changed for the better... and now, our relationship is going great. i let my boyfriend do what he wants and needs to do... and he never tries to ruin that trust we worked for.

Love is possible without being possessive about your spouse, true love lies in the happiness of partner...

i think true love does not lend itself easily or well to being possesive. Surely, love should transcend our personal insecurity ? However, i do believe there are possesive people who do feel this way even in the full bloom of new love and they are hell to live with. Yet, even with these people, trust should, in time over ride possesivness blessed be

When we love someone, we of course want that person to love us back and think we are special, this is where possessiveness comes into the relationship. It is possible to love someone and be able to put that possessiveness aside. I don't understand the desire to be together all the time, I have never felt that way about someone, I have wanted to be with the man I love even more than I thought I could, and while I do want to spend time with him, I can't imagine wanting to spend all my time with him. I personally need some alone time, and so I think it is natural that he would also. I can also see where we should both maintain our friendships, it is just natural that people want to spend some time socializing. I agree that it is wrong to try to possess another, it makes no sense, at least to me I see it as smothering, controlling, and trying to change the person you love, what happens once you have changed that person? Now they are not the person you fell in love with but the person you changed them into, so the question is, did you really love them to begin with, or love who you wanted to change them into? Either way it is wrong. With trust you have no need to worry about how they behave when they are not with you, with respect you accept people for who they are, and allow them their rights to be who they are. The question is this, would you want someone else controlling your life, would you want someone else trying to change you, would you want someone else demanding and dictating to you how you should live your life, and who you are allowed to spend time with? I know I wouldn't want that. While I would hope that if I had issues or problems with someone they knew, example they had a friend whom I felt couldn't be trusted and I had reservations about, I would hope the person I cared for would listen to my view points and take me seriously since I don't demand that they end their friendships they should take those times when I might have a reservation about someone seriously, I still don't see where I should dictate who those friends should be. The only time I think I might have cause to say something is if as we were invovled and he spent all his time with others and only fit me into his schedule when it was convient there will be times when I may want to do something and my wishes and interests should be considered. Example a memeber of my family was suddenly hospitalized so he didn't go play poker he took me to the hospital to see my family. Yet another example, our plans to go to a friends for party was cancelled, he was invited by other friends to go to Atlantic City, which meant a night we were originally going to spend together I was going to be home alone. I was fine with that, because the chance to go to Atlantic City and still be able to sleep late the following morning were rare for him, I told him to go and have a good time. I could have gone with him and his friends, but I didn't want to saw no point to it since I wasn't into gambling. He had a good time, and was happy, I was glad he was happy, and had a good time, because I care enough about him to want him to be enjoy his life as well. On the other hand, there are other times when he passes up things for me, and I pass things up for him, and sometimes we just each go our separate ways to do our own thing. I think that is how a relationship works, because we give each other enough freedom, and care so that instead of feeling trapped or feeling like we need to get away from the other, we can enjoy the time we are together.

I think no 'coz love with itslef brings possession..whether u love a pen or a pencil but it is amrked as urs, then the relations are quite big things .and are possessed..And humans are helpless in this case as they cant do anything as it is natural

you have to be open minded to love anything. do you love your parents? if yes are you possessive about them? if yes-you lack self esteem! you have to love yourself first to love anything in this world! analyze how much you love yourself and then the possessiveness will wither away!