He's jealous of our children!

United States
April 9, 2007 12:39pm CST
Hey. My husband of 7 years seems to be jealous of our children. This is a grown man who in no way should be jealous of a child, especially his own children. He is constantly is complaining about the amount of attention I give to my kids. I understand it's difficult when before the kids we devoted every waking moment to each other , but come on to be jealous of a child ! Does anybody else have this kind of problem? He should not make me feel guilty for paying attention to our kids. Anyone have a suggestion?
4 people like this
5 responses
@aprilsue00 (1992)
• United States
9 Apr 07
that is terrible. i man being jealous of his own children. i guess i don't have that problem. i try to spend time with both my husband and children. mostly we all just spend time together though.
• United States
11 Apr 07
i hear ya. my husband tells me the same thing all the time. and even when he doesnt say it he will huff when he feels jealous. it used to anger me now it mainly makes me sad that maybe he didnt get enough from his parents but i still will not deny mine. if you find a better suggestion than the ignoring it and rolling my eyes that i do now id love to know
3 people like this
@sarah22 (3981)
• United States
11 Apr 07
ask him to help more with the kids and between the two of you, make time for one another, like special time once a week. movies or just going for a drive. this might make him feel not left out. best wishes
3 people like this
• United States
11 Apr 07
sara that work work great if that was all that there was. i kiss the babys toes and hes like shhhh you dont do that for me. if the toddler has a nightmare and i bring him to bed on hubbys night off he grunts. if he comes home wanting some "alone adult time" and the toddler is up he grumps with a you gotta be kidding and stomps upstairs like an infant
3 people like this
@sarah22 (3981)
• United States
12 Apr 07
oh now i see, he wants you to be all his, thats sad.hes not your child but the man you love and had kids with. he needs to see that and be apart of it. the kids will always be there no matter what. i hope that he can see that and bes more of a dad then a winer, sorry
1 person likes this
@sarah22 (3981)
• United States
11 Apr 07
well, i think he just does not want to be left out. no man does, he might just think that time with him is not as much as before and well, you now have kids and while they are young need more attention than him. it was something that my hubbie was worried about before we had our first but now he can see that we can do things with the kids and have fun, but we do set time to ourselves and have our time. he should be apart of the kids and that way with you ,he will be having time together
3 people like this
@mrsbrian (1951)
• United States
9 Apr 07
Well you dont say how old your children are but what dose he want? the children cant raise there selves and if they dont have the proper attention they will go down the wrong road. Do you do anything as a family? get him involved with the kids let him sepnd alone timwe with them. many men are jelious because they feel left out so i would try to involve him in as much as I could. other than that I would tell him to grow up and get over it.
@minty3 (592)
• Nigeria
11 Apr 07
Even though you've chosen a best response, i'm tempted to still respond. Your husband married YOU not your children. He's not jealous as you feel just showing you that you're spending too much time with the children than with him. Like i said, he married you and you're the one to make adjustments so that you don't rob peter to pay paul. For God's sake, he loves the kids as much as you do but cement your relationship now cos very soon those children be leave to start thier own 'nest' and you'll be left alone with this 'jealous man'. There's a vacuum that only you fill in his life; don't let him fill it up with something else because you're not responding. thanks.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Apr 07
Thanks, I didn't mean to sound so hateful towards him. It is a very difficult situation though. Our second child is severly disabled. He has severe spastic quadriplegia, brain damage, epilepsy, and a movement disorder. This child is time consuming. I'm working on respite care but until then there isn't anyone qualified so it's up to me. This is his child as well so he should be understanding for the time being. When I'm able to make other arrangements for us to spend time together I will but until then I'll continue taking care of this child. Given my child's condition he will not be leaving the nest period so he will just have to be more understanding and not so self-absorbed. thanks for the advice.
1 person likes this